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Original poster

Husband refusing to pay mortgage

124 replies

ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:17

Hi all. Please can I get some urgent advice. I have been married for a year and a half and my husband and I have a mortgage. He usually pays 70% of it and if pay 30% of it proportional to our salaries. He earns 3x the amount I do but has always wanted me to pay 50% of it. Since we separated in April 2025 he hasn't been consistently paying me for all council tax and water bills that are in my name. The mortgage was originally coming out from his bank account and I would transfer my proportion to him but he has taken the direct debit off his account and sent me threatening emails and is now refusing to pay the mortgage at all during the coming months. My solicitor is writing to him to remind him of his obligations but outside of this ive been advised that the pnly thing i can do is take him to court which i cant afford to do. Outside of this is there anything else that i can do because the morrgage company are saying i need his consent to switch the mortgage tobinterest only to sell the house or extend the term whilst the divorce is happening. I dont know how much more i can cope with that i feel like just signing the house over to him and walking away. Does anyone know what i can do please as I dont think ive got very far with the bank or the solicitor

OP posts:
NellieElephantine · 02/10/2025 21:18

Is he still living in the house? When will it be up for sale?

Minnie798 · 02/10/2025 21:23

Can you not get the house up for sale asap. Contact the mortgage provider and ask for a payment break in the meantime .

TheGreatWesternShrew · 02/10/2025 21:24

Don’t sign it over. You’re owed half of his savings as well remember.

Original poster
ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:27

He is refusing to sell the house. He had kicked me out of it and put a ring doorbell on for surveillance. I went yesterday to take some furniture from the house thst my family lent to return to them snd he accused me of theiving. He has left the property to live with his mother but intermittently returns for 2 weeks a month. He is adamant he will not pay the mortgage. I am scared and frightened

OP posts:
CombatBarbie · 02/10/2025 21:27

Minnie798 · 02/10/2025 21:23

Can you not get the house up for sale asap. Contact the mortgage provider and ask for a payment break in the meantime .

Shes already said the bank wont do anything without both parties consent.

Currently going through this with my ex. He can stop paying and its ok with the bank that hes in breach of contract but I cant amend anything???? Its a fucked up world we live in.

Original poster
ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:29

CombatBarbie · 02/10/2025 21:27

Shes already said the bank wont do anything without both parties consent.

Currently going through this with my ex. He can stop paying and its ok with the bank that hes in breach of contract but I cant amend anything???? Its a fucked up world we live in.

Show quote history

Exactly. Im in this situation due to domestic abuse. I dont feel like im getting anywhere with this at all and its just so disheartening. I feel completely lost.

OP posts:
SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 21:31

You can force the sale of the house by legal action.

A simpler way would be you refuse to pay the mortgage too, the bank will then threaten to foreclose and……sell the house to recover the mortgage debt.

SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 21:32

ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:29

Exactly. Im in this situation due to domestic abuse. I dont feel like im getting anywhere with this at all and its just so disheartening. I feel completely lost.

Show quote history

I’d just go start a new life and let the bank chase him for the mortgage.
You should file for divorce. There is no way he will get to keep all the house.

Original poster
ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:37

I have filed for divorce. He told me because i filed the divorce fee online that I can afford to pay the mortgage which isn't true. Im worried because I usually paid 30% of the mortgage which has now gone to 50% and after I paid 50% yesterday on legal advice then today he is saying I should pay the full amount. Hes pushing me further and further. Im worried because if the mortgage goes into arrears it affects my credit score too and that is what i wanted to avoid.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:37

SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 21:32

I’d just go start a new life and let the bank chase him for the mortgage.
You should file for divorce. There is no way he will get to keep all the house.

Show quote history

But rhe bank are chasing both of us as its a joint mortgage

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 02/10/2025 21:40

How much deposit did you both pay, how much mortgage did you both borrow and how much is the house now worth?

Original poster
ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:41

Soontobe60 · 02/10/2025 21:40

How much deposit did you both pay, how much mortgage did you both borrow and how much is the house now worth?

I put 30k down. He put 111k down. The house is 520k. Mortgage has 410k on it.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 02/10/2025 21:45

He's not only going to make your credit score tank, it will happen to his too. It might be worth reminding him of the fact- especially when he wants to get a mortgage or loan in the future.

SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 21:46

ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:37

But rhe bank are chasing both of us as its a joint mortgage

Show quote history

So you tell them there is nothing you can do, husband is the breadwinner by 3x your income and he has kicked you out of the house so you have rent to pay,

RandomMess · 02/10/2025 21:46

So the house has gone down in value?

PollyBell · 02/10/2025 21:48

TheGreatWesternShrew · 02/10/2025 21:24

Don’t sign it over. You’re owed half of his savings as well remember.

I doubt it works that way

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/10/2025 21:48

He won't "win", but the mortgage company will when they repossess the house....

SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 21:49

ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:37

I have filed for divorce. He told me because i filed the divorce fee online that I can afford to pay the mortgage which isn't true. Im worried because I usually paid 30% of the mortgage which has now gone to 50% and after I paid 50% yesterday on legal advice then today he is saying I should pay the full amount. Hes pushing me further and further. Im worried because if the mortgage goes into arrears it affects my credit score too and that is what i wanted to avoid.

Divorce always affects credit scores. You can’t afford to pay any of the mortgage. The most you can do is ask the bank for a 3 month mortgage holiday and warn them you will be going into arrears. He is unreasonable to expect you to pay any of the mortgage on a house he is physically barring you from living in.

This will be a matter of record for the divorce.

SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 21:49

after I paid 50% yesterday on legal advice
Who advised this?

Original poster
ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:52

SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 21:49

after I paid 50% yesterday on legal advice
Who advised this?

My solicitor. I initially paid 30% then the solxiot advised me to do 59 and its led to an escalation of Abuse again over the last day and has led to him demanding i cover it all.

OP posts:
Wowwee1234 · 02/10/2025 21:53

I think you need better legal advice! And support from Womens Aid / Shelter / Refuge.

Original poster
ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:54

SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 21:49

Divorce always affects credit scores. You can’t afford to pay any of the mortgage. The most you can do is ask the bank for a 3 month mortgage holiday and warn them you will be going into arrears. He is unreasonable to expect you to pay any of the mortgage on a house he is physically barring you from living in.

This will be a matter of record for the divorce.

Show quote history

This is the problem. The bank have refused to give me a mortgage holiday. They quoted mortgage charter and said either I switch to interest only or extend the term but these both need his consent which he is not willing to do.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 02/10/2025 21:56

Get some advice from a debt charity or Citizens Advice.

SummerFeverVenice · 02/10/2025 22:04

ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:52

My solicitor. I initially paid 30% then the solxiot advised me to do 59 and its led to an escalation of Abuse again over the last day and has led to him demanding i cover it all.

Show quote history

Your solicitor would not happen to also be your DH’s? Or in same office?
They aren’t advising in your best interest imho.
Please seek a second opinion.

Soontobe60 · 02/10/2025 22:05

ThisOliveHelper · 02/10/2025 21:41

I put 30k down. He put 111k down. The house is 520k. Mortgage has 410k on it.

Show quote history

So, if he doesn’t pay and you don’t pay it will pretty soon be repossessed and the mortgage paid off. The bank will sell it as cheap as they can to get their money back so the likelihood is that your deposit will be less than you paid. You really do need to speak to a solicitor about this asap. How is the house owned - as tenants in common or joint tenants?