Husband refusing to pay mortgage

[ThisOliveHelper]

Hi all. Please can I get some urgent advice. I have been married for a year and a half and my husband and I have a mortgage. He usually pays 70% of it and if pay 30% of it proportional to our salaries. He earns 3x the amount I do but has always wanted me to pay 50% of it. Since we separated in April 2025 he hasn't been consistently paying me for all council tax and water bills that are in my name. The mortgage was originally coming out from his bank account and I would transfer my proportion to him but he has taken the direct debit off his account and sent me threatening emails and is now refusing to pay the mortgage at all during the coming months. My solicitor is writing to him to remind him of his obligations but outside of this ive been advised that the pnly thing i can do is take him to court which i cant afford to do. Outside of this is there anything else that i can do because the morrgage company are saying i need his consent to switch the mortgage tobinterest only to sell the house or extend the term whilst the divorce is happening. I dont know how much more i can cope with that i feel like just signing the house over to him and walking away. Does anyone know what i can do please as I dont think ive got very far with the bank or the solicitor

If you're not using it then no, phone them, give them your new address and date you moved out. See what they suggest and what you signed up for in your contracts.

How long did you Co-habit for directly prior to marriage?

You may have to take a joint hit proportionally on the house value.

You have to keep paying towards the mortgage, even when not living there, as it's partly your asset. However, if you're living elsewhere then let him pay anything in his name and get your name removed from anything that is partly or solely in your name. Tell the utility company you've moved out if necessary. Obviously if you're living there then you will have to pay.

Whoever is living there is responsible for the utilities unless the property is vacant, in which case you will be responsible for 50% of the utility costs which I assume would be very minimal in a vacant property.

Are you paying your parents rent or living expenses, could they help in anyway until you're more settled. ,

Rights of Women are specialists in legal issues.

And don't hesitate to go to the police if he's threatening you OP. And keep records of any agreements and threats as I'm sure you are.

Sorry OP short term marriages do not usually follow the 50/50 starting point rule. Most judges would seek to put you back to where you started after only 18 months. Unless you were together for a long time before the wedding you are better off just trying to get your deposit back

Explain to all the utility companies that you no longer live there and why, and that your husband is still living there.

Explain to all the utility companies that you no longer live there and why, and that your husband is still living there.

In your shoes as a DV victim I would try to extricate yourself with the minimum of fuss and legal costs.

Try to see it as a negotiation. You need to find your inner Trump and be a total arse.

Leaving with £30k deposit intact is reasonable in a house that hasn't appreciated in value. £35k is a good outcome. I appreciate you think as you've been paying a % of the mortgage you are owed more but in reality you have BOTH just been servicing the interest, you should see it as rent you would have paid anyway.

You are not living in the house but you are legally obligated to continue to service the mortgage. You have made your payment for this month. Tell him it will be your last. You will let the house fall into arrears and the bank can sell it.
To be clear - This is a bluff.
Tell him you are willing to sell your share in the house to him for £35k for a clean break. You will not be married to him any longer [presume you have no interest in further DV]

As he has barred you from the house you intend to immediately contact the utilities companies to say you have moved out. You can either have the services either put in his name or disconnected. Which does he want? Any reconnection fees will be his problem.

Be really short and firm, do not engage with conversation and back and forth. You don't have the funds, you need to act now. You are not going to give him weeks to delay and make a decision.

If you don't feel strong enough to do this. Find someone to do it for you. A sibling, a bolshy friend.

35k is about a third of the equity (110k). You've been paying 30% of the mortgage and put up less than a third of the up front cost, so a third of the equity seems like a fair deal.

Get a solicitors letter to him to accept £35k on condition house goes for sale immediately and in the interim whilst house is being sold both parties pay 50% of mortgage and associated utilities.

If he is in the house then he pays utilities.

I would be concerned that you were advised you would get 50% after such a short marriage so make sure you get a solicitor who isn't driving this to court so that they earn fees.

I agree with this.

I wouldn't demand a house sale, it's no benefit to you. Perhaps solicitor could confirm the previous conversation where he agreed to 35k ipayment, confirm op no longer lives there so will remove her name from mortgage, council tax, utility companies, set a date for his payment which then allows op access to the house and to collect belongings, confirm no further direct communication with op by any means and that's him gone.

Thanks all for all your help. Just to ask further when ive queried this with solicitors the options they have explained to me for the financial settlement are either mediation which he has told me he will not do or getting our solicitors to negotiate the outcome between themselves via both parties engaging in the financial disclosure process and then battling the equity like this. Both I have talked to have said that under matrimonial law act the starting point would be 50 50 to divide the equity and for my spouse they never put the the house under tenants in common and we own it jointly. Alongside this they earn 3x my wage so have a better mortgage raising capacity then me and therefore this is the basis why I should get 50% or slightly below.

Am I right in thinking that my options are either to get the solicitor to write to him and say i will walk away with 35k or is the general consensus to fight for 40 to 45 l% of the equity. Between the 2 options im looking at a 10k difference but then I guess I need to factor in the solicitor fees to this and the time.

Just walk away with 35k if that's an option, you'll spend more money on solicitors if it drags on for an extra 5k.plus the emotional distress.

they earn 3x my wage so have a better mortgage raising capacity then me

Forget this. It's irrelevant. Take the 35k and walk away.

You are chasing the difference between 35k and 50k. In order to achieve it you will need to spend money on solicitors. This won’t be free 30 minutes of solicitors time. it will easily jump into the thousands. Because you are dealing with someone who is unreasonable.

You keep posting about solicitors telling you the starting point is 50% and you could get more because you earn less. This sounds like generic advice. How much detail did you provide when you got it? Was it part of the 30 min free consultation ?

The 70:30 split was a product of your relationship which is over. He doesn’t need to subsidise you now you aren’t together. If you want to continue paying 30% why expect to get 50% put of the situation. Equally if he wants to pay you 30% why insist you pay 50%.

You are both on a trajectory to spend money fighting over an asset that is at risk because it is empty.

It’s not necessarily irrelevant. Even in a short marriage, the court will consider each party’s needs. I don’t know if OP is able to meet her needs (as assessed by the court) out of her £35k but it isn’t as simple as it’s a short marriage so you only get what you put in.

Just because he earns more therefore can afford a mortgage you doesn’t mean you should get 50/50 the solicitors sound like they are encouraging you into a fight for equity which means they get bigger fees. I would be taking their advice with a pinch of salt based on this.

You can write and make the offer yourself to him and his solicitor.

While he has the ability to trash your credit rating, why on earth does he want to crash his own?

He's not rational to put it mildly

I wonder if he’s worried about losing money in the divorce. I would tell him that your solicitors have told you that he is displaying a tracked pattern of behaviour which would be looked upon as financial abuse in the courts which would work strongly in favour of you getting a better payout.

no idea if it’s true or not but might give him second thoughts.

Do not do this