Husband refusing to pay mortgage

[ThisOliveHelper]

Hi all. Please can I get some urgent advice. I have been married for a year and a half and my husband and I have a mortgage. He usually pays 70% of it and if pay 30% of it proportional to our salaries. He earns 3x the amount I do but has always wanted me to pay 50% of it. Since we separated in April 2025 he hasn't been consistently paying me for all council tax and water bills that are in my name. The mortgage was originally coming out from his bank account and I would transfer my proportion to him but he has taken the direct debit off his account and sent me threatening emails and is now refusing to pay the mortgage at all during the coming months. My solicitor is writing to him to remind him of his obligations but outside of this ive been advised that the pnly thing i can do is take him to court which i cant afford to do. Outside of this is there anything else that i can do because the morrgage company are saying i need his consent to switch the mortgage tobinterest only to sell the house or extend the term whilst the divorce is happening. I dont know how much more i can cope with that i feel like just signing the house over to him and walking away. Does anyone know what i can do please as I dont think ive got very far with the bank or the solicitor

Let the council know you have moved for council tax, also the water company. Where are you living now. He has no legal right to stop you going to your house, if you need to go again make sure you're with someone. Have you been in touch with women's aid. Tell the bank you've moved out, you can't afford the mortgage, don't respond to his emails, pass them straight to your solicitor and the police if he threatens you.

Ok. Then second part applies. You have been barred from the premises by your husband and therefore cannot pay the mortgage as you have to cover rent.

Just forget about the credit score. It will tank anyway and you can’t have bad credit due to divorce and be in debt because you kept trying to pay a mortgage that is unaffordable at your income and rent.

Bank will go after your husband before you as your income clearly isn’t enough by itself to pay the mortgage.

The mortgage company won’t give a flying fuck about that
OP is jointly and severally liable for the mortgage

He said do 50% this month on the proviso that my husband was also going to contribute 50% this month. But as soon as I did 50% that's when my husband started demanding 100%. Now i am concerned because I dont know what to do. All my previous contributions were 30% and in the letter of advice today my solicitor said I should do 100% and be prepared to take him to court later to sue him for the costs in additiom to filing maintenance pending suit but I dont know how much all this is going ro cost and I cant afford it all.

That is still what she should tell them and she should not try and cover the mortgage.

Bank not giving a shit is neither here or there, in fact it is in OP’s best interest to let it go into arrears so the bank forces the sale of the house.

It really isn’t

I’m sure the banks have launched schemes to support people experiencing DV and financial abuse can you ask the bank to use that policy in working with you?

Why do you think you should get ‘maintenance’? Do you have children together?

You can’t afford that. Your solicitor is looking make a bundle of cash off you. You’re not on a high income such that you can sue your husband. You need the divorce quick and he house sold quick. Letting it fall into arrears is the fastest way.

I agree with a pp ask Women’s Aid or Citizens advice for advice and possibly a better solicitor who isn’t thinking about billing you for everything you have and more.

You should be entitled to half the house. Don't walk away. People do drag their feet with house sales when divorcing but you need to keep your nerve and don't do anything rash like handing over the house.

He just said an option was maintenance pending suit and id need to prove to the court that I cant keep all the household expenses going in the interim without my husbands salary since he earns 3x my wage.

Expand on your view please.

OP is supposed to pay a mortgage on a house that took 4x her income to get a mortgage approved on AND pay rent AND pay for a solicitor how exactly?

She will go into high interest debt quite quickly by my calculations and for what? Half of each mortgage payment she makes will end up paying for the half of principle her DH gets in the divorce. So she then pays off the debts with her share and is left with either debt or nothing post divorce.

The costs of foreclosure charged by a bank is usually less than the charges of a solicitor to sue in family court for costs…so more of the equity will be available to go to OP post divorce. She won’t have gone into debt to pay rent and living costs while paying a mortgage no bank would ever have said she could afford even if living there by herself.

In what way is it best for OP to pay the mortgage? It will only delay the divorce and put her in debt.

Im just absolutely frightened scared and terrified of this because once it falls into arrears i dont know how my credit score is going to recover from this and im worried ill never be able to get another mortgage or loan or credit card in the future.

@ThisOliveHelper have you ever reported any of the abuse, including the financial abuse to the police? If not, do so now, in a detailed online submission. Secondly, you need to inform your bank of the abuse, particularly financial abuse you are currently being subjected to. You are the victim of domestic abuse, and this makes you a vulnerable person. They should have a team that can help you navigate this awful situation. Please keep trying with the bank.

My sister ended up with a poor credit rating after divorce, rented for a few years, saved up enough money to pay the deposit on a house and now owns it outright. A poor credit rating isn’t the end of the world you know.

Have you told the bank that you are a victim of domestic abuse and have fled?

Financial abuse is also a crime now. Report him to the police.

Have you told your solicitor that you are the victim of domestic abuse? Domestic abuse victims get legal aid for family law.

Why bc are you paying the household bills if you don’t live there?

id be straight onto the council and utility companies to let them know id moved out and take my bane off the bills.

Then I’d try and pay as much of the mortgage payment as I could afford until the divorce was sorted and legally force a sale.

Contact FLOWS https://www.flows.org.uk/
They can help you work through the legal options available to you.

Why are you divorcing him? Has there been a pattern of abusive behavior similar to this?
Have a look at this page: https://www.lloydsbankinggroup.com/insights/understanding-and-supporting-customers-in-vulnerable-circumstances.html
Your bank might have something similar.
You should also contact woman's aid.

Is any of the abuse reported? If not, I would seriously consider doing so. Why has he kicked you out? Its your home too?

As its a short marriage it should be fairly simple. You walk away in the same position you started....ie your deposit back and 50% of equity.

You can certainly inform the bank youll be paying your share. If the abuse has been reported, the bank should be able to help more. (My bank has its own abuse/vulnerable people's section)

So the bank are not helping me anymore because my husband has any point in october to make payment as the mortgage has not yet gone into arrears. If it goes into arrears then this is the point at which they will get involved.

Are you joint tenants or tenants in common?

If joint tenants then when the house is sold you will get about £70k back (half of the £141k deposit).

I would stop paying anything on the mortgage to make sure the house is sold asap.

@ThisOliveHelper i’m sorry you’re going through this. I can understand why you feel so worried and anxious.

I suspect your STBXH is aware of your fear of poor credit and is using this as a way to control you and I still fear in you. I know how worried you are about poor credit rating but realistically unless there is a pot of money somewhere you’re not disclosing you can’t afford to pay 100% mortgage for any length of time which is what your ex is unreasonably asking. Even if you did manage to do a few payments, eventually you would struggle and end up in arrears anyway.

Agree with others about women’s aid, citizens advice and potentially another lawyer as I am astounded they advised you to pay the 100% when you have a joint mortgage, your ex is refusing you access to the house and is refusing to allow you to sell. Women’s aid may be able to point you towards solicitors who have experience in cars like this.

As others have also said please report all abuse if you feel safe to do so as this will strengthen your case and keep all communications from him.

We’re all rooting for you. 🤍🤍🤍

Most banks these days have special assistance available for victims of domestic abuse. See if your bank has a similar team. Explain the situation of your husband refusing to pay, you being unable to convert the loan to interest only, your concern re future impact to your credit score (in reality by refusing to pay he is continuing to abuse you into the future by impacting your future financial security).

Personally I'd continue to pay at least 30% as you were but depending on what the bank say 50% if you can afford it. I would speak to the bank about whether that would be sufficient to preserve your credit history. I fully understand if both names are on the loan, then both parties are responsible. But the reality is you got the value of the loan due to his income, which they knew from the loan application. If he is refusing to pay, you can't force him. So what do they expect you to reasonably do in the circumstances? You can't cover the full repayment as that's based on his income. I'd hammer home he is continuing to financially abuse you with his refusal to contribute to the loan repayments and thereby negatively impacting your credit rating going forward.

You're happy to sell the house, transition to interest only lian etc, but he is refusing.

My concern at the moment is with my solicitors advice. I usually pay 30% of the mortgage. My solicitor advised me to pay 50% to stop the prospect of going into arrears. As soon as I did that my husband refused to pay his share and is now asking for 100%. The solicitor said my only options are to cover 100% of the costs myself and accept that in the future i will have to try to recover some courts through taking him to court or I file maintenance pending suit.

To be very clear with you all, I earn a third of my husbands wage. I have savings enough to hire a solicitor only. I do not have the money to take my husband to court but doubt I qualify for legal aid. I certainly would not be able to upkeep 100% of the mortgage and pay council tax and all other expenses on my own as I run the risk of the mortgage falling into arrears anyway. However I am extremely concerned that my husband will not pay gping forwards. As this is another form of domestic abuse can I get a police earning about economic abuse to him?

when i did speak to the bank after having made the 50% payment they advised to drop down to my normal payments. If he doesn't pay it will go into arrears affecting both our credit scores. However at that point I will be subject to incoming and outgoing assessments and then the bank themselves will make a decision about how much I can pay. Whilst it wont preserve my credit rating they said a note can be put on file to explain im a victim of DV and it is up to individual lenders in the future whether they wish to lend to me or not.

Alongside this is there any other legal method for how this should be dealt with or is my solicitor handling this appropriately?