Father who lives abroad has applied for joint custody

[Custodyapplication]

DC is 4 and has never lived with his father as he moved back to his home country before DC was born and only had a few visits with father. Had no contact for the majority of the 4 years and none for 2+ years. Just received a letter that was addressed to my previous address which is another language but tried to interpret it and it says he’s applied for joint custody and there’s a court appointment next month in his home country which I’m supposed to attend. Child is disabled (father not aware of this) and there’s no way I’ll be able to take them to another country or get a babysitter to go and I have no idea who to contact/can’t speak the language. What will likely happen from this? Father has had no interest and was abusive/ controlling and seemed to be very jealous of DC, so I’m very worried about if child will have to spend time with him. This has come after an CMS application was done 3 and half years ago through REMO (intentional one) and has recently had an update on to say it’s progressing in his country so I assume that’s why he’s suddenly applied for joint custody.

Ignore it and see what happens, can you say you didn’t receive it if questioned …..who gave the letter to you?

Did you not tell him you had moved

The father is not on the birth certificate, without that he cannot get any French documentation. He would have to apply for dna etc, to get a bc first

Do not ever take your son (or yourself) to France. Keep him in the UK, where he is protected by UK law.

https://www.avocat-omer.fr/blog/divorce-enfant/droit-de-garde-demenagement/

Under French law the interest of the child prevails. The child's schooling, habits, language skills and relationship to the parent is studied. Just wanted to reassure you that noone will come and take your child away!!! And also, the French courts are not competent to decide in a British custody case. Please corfirm with a lawyer specialised in intl family law.

This is a very complex area of law OP so you must get proper legal advice. He may not be on the birth certificate but by pursuing child maintenance you have acknowledged him as the father so that may give him an in here (this is me musing, I don’t know one way or another especially in terms of International law). I would like to think that no court would force a disabled child to live part of the year with someone they have never met in a country they have never been too and where they don’t speak the language but I honestly don’t know.

I wish you the best of luck here OP.

I think the chances of him succeeding are nil to slim but I’m no expert

you need specialist legal advice. Don’t go to France. Don’t panic.

Don't ignore it, call citizens advice and see if they have any information. I'd also contact my MP, they have access to resources ordinary plebs don't. Maybe even try a councillor in your area too. It might be worth contacting the embassy of his country to find out what rights he has and how far their laws go in this country

I think some men start this shit when they get a new partner, who is not impressed by the fact that they have abandoned their children. In order to make themselves look better they start pursuing custody when actually they don’t really give a monkey’s
I bet this man has got a new girlfriend!

@AnSolasThe Childs father is not on birth cert. The op is and she should apply. Definitely see a qualified lawyer too.

If your child was born and resides in the UK than the only court that has any input into custody arrangements is UK courts. His country has 0 jurisdiction. Do not go. If he wants to challenge custody he will have to return the Uk and there is no court in the UK that will reward joint custody for a child his age to parents living in separate countries especially if child has additional needs and "father" hasn't seen him for half his life. Ignore. But could consult a lawyer for peace of mind

France thankfully will not stand for such antics, I know someone who tried it and it was cut down by the judge. No birth certificate will mean he needs to start with a dna test and to get on the birth certificate.

Or he may just want joint custody to avoid paying any maintenance. perhaps he also wants to get some French government child benefit. Is your ex French or is he originally from another country or a passport holder for somewhere else?

If you can, ask the current resident of that address not to share you'd address with anyone. Let him make the effort to track you down and pursue you through the English courts. He will quickly find that our family courts have no interest in his wishes, because they are not in the interest of the child.

This all sounds incredibly overwhelming, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling so anxious. But honestly, it really does sound like he's just trying his luck.
This situation happens more than you'd think. A parent who's had little to no contact suddenly decides to get in touch, often because of something like a CMS claim, and they try to use the courts to their advantage. It's a classic power play, but it doesn't mean he'll succeed.
First things first, please try not to panic. The French court doesn't automatically have jurisdiction over your child just because he says so. You and your child are UK citizens, living in the UK. This means UK law is what matters here. A UK court's primary focus is always the welfare of the child, and they would take into account his past behaviour and the fact that he's been absent for so long.
You absolutely do not need to drop everything and go to France for this court date. Your first and most important step is to get some legal advice from a UK family law solicitor. They can look at the letter properly and tell you what your rights are. They'll also be able to advise you on how to respond and whether you need to challenge the jurisdiction of the French court.
I'd get that lawyer to reply to him actualy, telling him to fuck off - his letter doesn't seem to have come from a lawyer, so make sure your reply does!
You've done an amazing job raising your child on your own for four years, especially with their additional needs. Don't let this letter knock your confidence. Just focus on getting some legal advice and please, please don't feel you have to handle this on your own.

He has no rights then. Just ignore the letter.

There is an advice line run by this charity that may be able to point you in the right direction. It's call Reunite: Reunite | International Child Abduction Centre | Child Abduction Charity (I know there hasn't been an abduction, but they know the principles of international child custody disputes).

I have a postal redirection set up so was redirected to new address. I haven’t told him new address as he blocked me on everything a couple of years ago.

Please try not to worry, the French courts have no jurisdiction.

Any action would need to be raised in the UK.

Make an appointment with a lawyer to put your mind at rest, and for some advice regarding the situation in general.

Thank you everyone. I will contact a family solicitors to see if there’s anything they can do.

Hi OP,

I Googled and found this group, Women For Women in France - the site is in English. It is aimed at anglophone women with children in France so may not be exactly adapted to your needs, but they do explain quite clearly how parental rights work in France and what happens when the parents agree/disagree, if there is violence, etc.

Annecdotally, French family courts move slowly and as a non native speaker you also have a right to an interpreter. The court may have to provide all documents in your mother tongue.

I would also warn that the French administration in general reacts poorly to people who do not engage. Double check the letters for any deadlines and absolutely try to respect them. Write in English and send the same text Google translated, and state in every communication that you are anglophone.

If you already have an international CMS claim ongoing for him, perhaps they would be able to advise you on a solicitor practised in this area. Good luck. xx

There's a list of specialist solicitors on the Reunite website which I linked in my post above.

Ignore it then, if he eventually finds out you don’t live at that address anymore he won’t know that you had postal redirection set up so will never be sure if you got the letters or not

ChatGPT is an excellent translator with surprisingly deep knowledge of several national laws. While it’s obviously not a replacement for a family lawyer, you can feed the letter in (either typed or uploaded as a pdf) and get him to explain it in English. You can also discuss the French legal position in English with him. Make it clear in the prompt which part of France the letter is from (there may be regional legal differences) and you‘ll get an idea what you’re up against.

Please give the British Embassy/Consulate in Paris a call. They will have seen this before and will advise you what to do next, before you start spending money on lawyers.

As your son’s father is not on the birth certificate, they will probably start with a DNA test, which he will have to pay for.

It's quite hard to get a French passport. Even people who were born there are not automatically French citizens.