Police DASH assessment panic

[IntrusiveThoughtsHell]

Hi,

I'm wondering if anyone here has experience with this and would mind me talking to them over pm.

It's regarding things that I disclosed on a DASH assessment, things that I discussed with police, and if anything I've said could get someone into trouble.

I'm having severe intrusive thoughts and worry about this

The Clare's law disclosure did you request it or did someone on your behalf? A professional or a friend , his probation officer, for example? There's right to know and right to tell they're different.
Police won't jeopardise your safety, if you've not reported any specific incidents they won't arrest him/bail him/apply for a dvpn/dvpo. Have there been any recent incidents, hospital attendances or police call outs? The police won't take action without telling you. The IDVA will also feedback to you the plan following the MARAC.

The threshold for marac is pretty high so there are some clear concerns. Please work with the IDVA and tell her your concerns about leaving and about staying, she can help you safety plan. IDVAs and DA victim organisations work with women in relationships , out of relationships and in and out of relationships, there's no judgement. I used to do that job many moons ago.

OP, do you not want him to find out because you're scared of what he might do? If that's the case, you really do need to get to a place of safety asap. Please speak to Women's Aid about support for planning to safely leave.

Exactly

Op you are me !! I was in your shoes 8 years ago

And all I did was worry about him ( the abusive bastard)

Please get out
Stay out

Block contact

Listen to the wise ladies on here they saved my life xxx

Same same here !!!!!

You need to stay safe op

V v risky time

I called the police for a welfare check for him, I didn't tell the police what had happened. We were both drunk, I got hurt, he said he didn't do it, I fell, I didn't tell the police anything about it, but they did do a DASH, where I was honest.

The local police then contacted me to see if I wanted to speak to women's aid. I said ok. She did another DASH and said that there would be a MARAC meeting.

The police had said to me that they were going to do a Claire's law disclosure and did I want to have the info. I said okay.

So they came and gave me the info at women's aid and then they did another DASH.

the original police, my women's aid worker and the second set of police all told me that he would never know any of this. Nobody ever told me that he could be contacted without my permission.

I'm so worried and I feel like I've been lied to.

I'm so worried 😟

What did the professionals say?

You need to not minimise this

He sounds awful

Your life is as risk
Been there

To be honest, I think I minimise it because I know if I lay it all out I'll have to really really face it.

I've been through a lot of trauma and I think the little nice moments feel so big to me because I don't know what it's meant to be like.

The lady from the police, my women's aid worker, and also my support worker all contacted me today to reassure me.

He can't be contacted as a result of the MARAC, I was told it's totally confidential. They also told me that I haven't said anything that could be used against him because I haven't made any reports or given any statements. Nothing I said in any of the risk assessments can be used to other than to work out what support I need.

I do feel a little better but I think the stress of everything is making my intrusive thoughts quite bad.

Thank you for everyone trying to help I appreciate it

Good luck to you. Already I can hear you're moving on in your thinking and becoming clearer than this morning.
You've got this.

Thank you. I'm quite embarrassed for carrying on the way I do. I think it's just the extreme stress of everything. I think my brain focuses on stupid things so I don't need to deal with the actual things that are happening...

You are in a terrifying situation and your brain is throwing up possible solutions to stay safe.

Some of them will be good solutions. Some of them will be effectively ‘superstitious nonsense’.

“Knock three times on every door and he won’t find out I spoke to women’s aid.”

It’s all coping strategy. Stay safe, be careful, move when you can.

I seem to need constant reassurance that the thoughts are just thoughts. It's hell. I can never relax.

I don’t fully understand your situation, so I can’t speak with authority. This is just my gut feeling.

I think it’s because you aren’t safe and your brain is trying to warn you. You will start to feel better when you are safe.

The professionals around you are trying to help you stay safe. Are you planning and preparing to get yourself somewhere safe?

Sorry that’s so repetitive. I’m a bit stuck on you getting safe!

We don't live together so I'm not physically unsafe, not all the time anyway. I'm not trapped, I just feel it a lot of the time. I was in a really bad place when we met, and I feel like I would be lost without him even though I know he's not very nice to me at times. I know how ridiculous that sounds and I nobody is more confused by that than me