Worried a man is trying to build a false sexual allegation against me — what do I do?

[Worriedmum222]

Just want some Advice please
A man I briefly knew (we weren’t in a proper relationship) is now implying I did something to him sexually. It was actually a consensual act that he requested and pushed for. I have messages showing it was his idea, but now I’ve heard he’s twisting it and telling people I forced him.

I’ve not contacted him since July 2024 when I messaged him once asking him to stop slandering me or I’d report him. He told me I was paranoid, denied living nearby, then blocked me. Since early 2025, I’ve experienced weird setups, neighbours being cold, and what feels like a smear campaign.

His family live close by. I’m a single mum and housebound most days due to anxiety. I don’t want police coming to my house unless absolutely necessary, especially because I live with a vulnerable child. But I’m scared — if he reports something false, will I have a chance to show my side first?

I did email the police a while ago as a kind of preemptive report just in case, but I never got a reply.

What can I do now to protect myself? I’ve never had issues with the law and I feel really alone.

Why would anyone believe a man telling them that you pegged him?! I would die laughing if a man told me that.

Please hold your head up high and use it as a learning step never to have casual sexual encounters as they could turn out to be weirdos like he is!

Think about it logically, if someone told you this about someone else would you be remotely interested or bothered by it? Of course you wouldn’t.

It is entirely possible that some neighbours keep their distance because you are feeling anxious and paranoid they are talking about you, so you give off an unapproachable air.

OP you need to try to refocus on your own life and your child.
unless you can show he’s doing something criminally wrong (so far you have not described anything) then the police cannot help you.
ive given you some ideas upthread about what to do but I also think you need to get some assistance with how much you are thinking about this.
I hadn’t realised earlier that he is a neighbour- that makes it more unpleasant.
When you can have a think about what you would like to happen and whether moving is something you could plan for the future.
I know it’s easy for us to say that it’s unlikely that he has told everyone (he doesn’t know everyone even if he lives behind your house) and honestly people are not going to think that you are a predator.
There may be all sorts of reasons for people acting whatever way you witness them and chances are it’s nothing to do with him.
You owe it to yourself and your child to try as hard as you can to ignore him and enjoy life and get out of the house - everything feels worse when you stay inside the house, right where he is and where things happened- try going for a walk every day, just half an hour - 15 minutes one way and back the same way. Pop headphones on and listen to your favourite music. You can get through this - and your GP can help more if you ask for more help

I would report everything you've said here to the police to have it on record incase it escalates. If it was me I would post the messages from him all over the local Facebook groups 😂 no way in hell I would be living like this!

I agree with @PenguinLover24. I actually think this is criminal harassment by him, not just defamation, and it’s worth you speaking to the police about it. If you had had a relationship or were related to him, then I think you could be in the territory of a non-molestation order but you haven’t so a non-mol isn’t available to you. He sounds vile and this behaviour seems criminal to me.

Bloody hell i never thought i would see such a situation on the legal board.

I had to google what pegging meant.

I am not a lawyer but am an expert in sexual and domestic violence.

It would be hard to conclude that it was a none consencenoual activity legally speaking unless you drugged him or he was incapacitated by drugs or alcohol.

so as regards the risk of you being prosecuted from what you say, that is unlikely.

As for what is going on in your community that must be vey embarrassing for you

but gossip is not in of itself actionable for us ordinairy people

if he harasses you then you can seek an injunction