Worried a man is trying to build a false sexual allegation against me — what do I do?

[Worriedmum222]

Just want some Advice please
A man I briefly knew (we weren’t in a proper relationship) is now implying I did something to him sexually. It was actually a consensual act that he requested and pushed for. I have messages showing it was his idea, but now I’ve heard he’s twisting it and telling people I forced him.

I’ve not contacted him since July 2024 when I messaged him once asking him to stop slandering me or I’d report him. He told me I was paranoid, denied living nearby, then blocked me. Since early 2025, I’ve experienced weird setups, neighbours being cold, and what feels like a smear campaign.

His family live close by. I’m a single mum and housebound most days due to anxiety. I don’t want police coming to my house unless absolutely necessary, especially because I live with a vulnerable child. But I’m scared — if he reports something false, will I have a chance to show my side first?

I did email the police a while ago as a kind of preemptive report just in case, but I never got a reply.

What can I do now to protect myself? I’ve never had issues with the law and I feel really alone.

Have you wrote numerous posts before about this?

@TequilaNights wish I could move, his home backs mine it’s been a nightmare, he covertly sneers, coughs, makes sick noises, howls snd other stuff, on off like that, had drones over my garden, security lights through my window, he’s blaming me for an act he wanted

You’ve done nothing wrong.

Screenshot the messages and block him.

Its awful when people accuse you of something you haven’t done but you cannot let him win.

Go outside with your head held high as much as you can.

@RealEagle no first time I’ve wrote about this, just wanted some advice

@Cucy see he’s told everyone I’m ugly vile etc it’s really affected my confidence, he’s did this deliberately to make me off balance, trying to explain to the police this is happening makes me feel it’s not happening, he’s told others on paranoid etc it’s horrible, he’s seriously got issues for being a grown man

OP, I really would urge you to talk to your doctor about this. Even if you think you're fine and your mental health is robust, it can't do any harm to mention what you are thinking to a medical professional. Then there will be stuff on record if he does step over the line and try to harm you or prosecute you, and even if he doesn't I think you would benefit from talking to someone about the way you are spiralling.

Gently, I don’t think you’re very well atm, OP. Have a chat with your doctor and see what they advise

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat ive already told my doctor about this, told her about the ongoing smear campaigns, she told me to get talking therapies which didn’t help, as the smearing is sporadic, I had ambulance out one night I had huge panic attack as heard someone shouting “Diddy” my direction, I feel isolated where I live and he lives at the back of me, he provokes me from afar to react and has slandered me to all and sundry, the looks I get when out is horrible

What are you going to do about this WorriedMum? Can you rise above this and not let him see it’s bothering you? Are you going to let a sleaze like him dominate you for the rest of your life?

@fatphalange im not well because I’m being smeared as an abuser, it’s cos of him he’s slandered me and that is insulting in respect of what I’m going though, I’ve seen my GP it’s been documented and if he is doing what I think he’s doing then I’ve receipts of him wanting the act, still it’s not nice to live with when everyone around me where live think I’m a predator

I very much doubt everyone around you thinks you’re a predator. Think logically: you engaged in a consensual sex act with someone. We all have. IF he HAS said any such nonsense about this to anyone, the chances are they are probably wondering why he didn’t go to the police about it at worst or raising an eyebrow at best then moving on to the next topic of conversation. Normal people don’t dwell on aspects of other people’s sex lives- certainly not to the extent of starting personal vendettas and smear campaigns. If they are that way inclined and are dying to get the pitch forks out, I’m sure a quick scan of one of those local predator vigilante Facebook pages would alert them to someone much more deviant to set their sights on!
Current news items can be triggering, re Diddy. You said your GP is aware of your problems. There is no harm in making another appointment.

@Utterlyconfusednow your right but he’s trying to bait me, to react it’s been like this on off for a good 18 months, he’s keeping to his narrative thst I’m crazy an abuser and I’m a stalker, I’ve not spoken or contacted him for the 18 months, I’m trying to move forward it’s hard as his house backs mine and the laughing, coughing and spitting is done on purpose to make me feel I’m doing something wrong, yes I need to get out I’m agoraphobic cos of this it isn’t just him, it’s the area I live in I’m called by others too because of his lies, I’m scared to report it as like I say live near him and his family are quite dominant in the area, so I’m scared of reprisals

Is it possible for you to move and start afresh somewhere? If not, can you block the bottom of your garden? Put up thick hedging/fencing? It would help to talk with someone about how to reduce your responses to this creep. You can’t allow him to dictate how you live your life not anymore,

@Utterlyconfusednow I’ve blocked my back I don’t go out that way I get sneered at, it’s like if he sees me he coughs deliberately or hocks spit from his garden, he’s a fully grown man thst lives with his mother and she laughs at me too, they are vile
he’s ashamed I guess not my issue he asked for it and now I’m deemed a predator by him and his cronies, I feel targeted, they know I’m on my own find it hilarious to call me vile names and dehumanising me, all cos of him twisting the narrative, but no police from him but if he persists I will have to tell the police as it’s making me ill
wish I could move, but I’m with council I’ve told then but they need police intervention to move, I’m just existing

Then you need to find the strength to advocate for yourself. You can’t go on like this. See your GP, get them to involve the mental health team. Ask them to write you a letter to give to the council saying how much this is affecting you and (by connection, your child. Contact the police and explain all this. Get busy and start living again,

Seriously, it does not matter. Go out with your head held high. You know he's making it up, that's what counts. Hiding away will make it last longer

Evening.
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page. We have also moved this over to Legal board to increase the likelihood of helpful responses.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

@Utterlyconfusednow yes I’ve documented all the times he’s tried to bait me etc told my doctor and had therapy about this, was told it does sound like a covert smear campaign, or he’s trying to push me out of my home as I have the real evidence of what he wanted but he to my knowledge told others, who I actually don’t know that I coerced him into the act, now I’m trying to keep my sanity knowing I have receipts on what he wanted, I just feel he’s trying to make me feel fearful and tormented by knowing he’s still there, making his presence felt like a warning, it’s him that prob more worried if I showed the truth
thankyou

The fact is he has more to fear than anyone because of his shame. His shame, not yours. If he wasn’t ashamed he wouldn’t be trying to deflect all this on to you. People will be interested in gossip only for a limited amount of time then they move on to something else. It is just him, an overgrown baby of a man. You’re a match for that. Ignore his stupid coughing and spitting. It’s playground stuff.

Start living.

@Utterlyconfusednow Yeah that’s why he’s doing this, it’s his own damn shame, it’s the amount of people he’s told in the area, I even seen a mother get her kid well away from me, like I was a sexual deviant or something I was only walking my dog, I keep my head down as can’t cope with it, wish moving was an option, no savings I put all my money into this place, for what now I just feel dirty not by the act but by being shamed into doing it shd the aftermath, would you say this guy sounds like a psychopath cos I do, think he’s getting a kick out of doing this, I avoid him like the plague he’s absolutely vile
thankyou

I don’t know what a psych would make of him but I have him pegged (hah, excuse the pun!) as a grade A coward. And still living behind his mummy’s skirts.

@Utterlyconfusednow haha that was funny considering what’s going on, yep mummy’s boy, seen her walking down past my garden she thought I was coming out, she was fiddling with her hair and looked awkward, now if that was me as his mother and I knew my son had been violated I’d be like a screaming banshee, nah said F all same as all of them but mock and smear me from afar village mentality with the IQ of 1, I’ve documented all the smearing and baiting and if it continues any longer I’m getting the police, it’s ridiculous how long this has gone on, if I’m a predator to him or others he tells then get the police then, I hope he does cos he’s gonna get a rude awakening
TY

Good stuff WorriedMum, keep getting strong and building your confidence. 😊

Have you had a chat with womens aid?

Women’s Aid won’t help with neighbour problems.