Calm my nerves please, divorce.

[JayJayy]

I have an appointment with a SHL on Thursday, but just hoping to get my head around things and calm my nerves about what the future holds.

H and I divorcing. Married for 29 years. Grown apart and I've not been happy for a while and bit the bullet. He's angry. We have 2 children. Both grown up and married themselves.

2017 my Mum died and left me her house, I was sole benefiiary.. When the estate was settled I put the money into buying a bigger property with H. The financials are where this gets complex:

H, 54, decent earner £85k plus bonuses. Pensions etc.

Me, 51. SAHM, completed a degree in 2010 but never managed to do anything with it because I was raising kids and supporting his career. Now I work part time, earning around £500 a month, I am now increasing that to try and get to full time. Fortunately my company is very supportive.

House, purchased for £240k in 2018 using previous home, plus inheritance of around £90k (some was given to the kids for house deposits). House now valued around £350k, probably £100k left on the mortgage. Joint names.

Assets, he has a few cars. I have a lease in his name. About £12k savings in joint names. I have nothing. No savings in my name, no assets.

He's made me a few offers. Would like me to go away and rent for 12 years (remaining mortgage term), he'll pay me £600 a month to do this, and then when the 12 years is up he'll give me my £90k back.

Doesn't feel I am entitled to any of his pensions and tells me if I get them then I wont get any benefits. I wasn't planning on claiming them but thats by the by.

Sell house, he gives me exactly half and walks away.

I've been told there is a possibility I can get my mums money back as well as the equity, but also told that because my earning potential has been so massively reduced through supporting his career I can ask for spousal maintenance until I'm settled.

I'm desperately unhappy trying to cohabit in the house with him. I have nowhere to go, he now expects me to pay half the bills and mortgage on my pittance of a part time wage and I don't know what to do. I don't even know how I'm paying for the SHL yet. I did manage to squirrel away £3k which hopefully will cover a consultation at least.
In the last half an hour a Government Divorce thing has landed in my inbox which he expects me to fill in.

So confused. Help!

Hi all,
Sol appointment is tomorrow. Out of interest, can anyone tell me how the pensions thing works please? Does that come when he retires or is that something he'd have to cash in?
Thank you all.

There are several different ways of doing it. Your solicitor should ultimately advise on which is best for you. Focusing on the local government part, there is information here:
https://www.civilservicepensionscheme.org.uk/your-pension/personal-life/divorce-dissolution-or-annulment/#:~:text=If%20you're%20going%20through,lump%20sum%20by%20the%20Court.

Hi split down the middle and can be accessed on retirement. No spousal on his wage. If you argue your inheritance he can argue he financially supported this whole time 30 years. Id just try to keep this pleasant get whst your due but be realistic. Your life is about to change but if you plan it could be a good one.