Legal amount to drink with children in the house?

[MBRE]

Just that really. Once the kids are in bed, asleep, if I want a G&T or a glass of wine is that legal whilst still "in charge" of the children if their DF is out? What's the limits etc if the police were turn up and breathalyse me? Are they even allowed to do that? So all kids asleep, over the age of three but two under five, two older ones over ten. What's the actual law around this? Anyone know?

You just have to use your own judgement. We're all different how alcohol affects us. I wouldn't have anymore then two drinks while in charge of DC.

I just feel like there's more to this than what you're saying, due to the action taken.

After I stopped fostering I became a kinship carer for a relative, and the parents had a lot of mental health issues and would always be complaining to SS about made up scenarios and obviously had inside info on me being family, that they could try and embellish. SS would give me a call or sometimes write to me to let me know, but they always said they weren't concerned because I never put a foot wrong with any of the kids - my own or those in my care.

@MBRE This is a strange question because I didn't know there was such a thing as being "in charge" of children. I guess with the young children you would be responsible for looking after them, but clearly there is no one "in charge" whenever the older 10 year olds go out to see their friends and wander the streets.

So if older children above the age of 7 or 8 are allowed to roam around freely without any parents or adults being nearby, what difference would it make if a parent is slightly drunk in their presence?

Then you need to not drink.

me and my husband don’t ever drink. I think some drinks on the weekend is no problem. But social services WITH the police do think it’s an issue

so lots of random people you’ll never meet might think it’s good or bad but it doesn’t matter

the people whose opinion it does matter have taken a child out of your care at the end of the day…

First you mention a glass of wine or G&T when the DF is away; then that you needed that to relax, suggesting you have one every night; then it was a couple of drinks; then you are taking the drinks with medication that make you “look” more inebriated than you really are.

I’m sorry but it does sound you have a problem and you kinda know that or wouldn’t be asking here for advice on breathalysers. As you can imagine that is not a worry for an average mum having a glass of wine while watching Netflix….

They do

girl I know had the police and social services turn up after a something similar.

it does and can happen

I mean. If you’re looking after someone else’s child why on earth did you even think to have a drink in the first place?

I wouldn’t be happy if someone was looking g after my child drunk

If you aren't sober enough to drive a car then I'd say you've entered dodgy territory.

There's a difference between the criminal threshold of neglect when a parent is found drunk in charge and what the thresholds are for Sw to remove DCs/be involved due to parental alcohol misuse.

Op is obviously under SW scrutiny. And also lacks insight into the issues.

Her DCs SW needs to sit her down and explain all of this.

I'm a bit worried for you.

You mention that having a couple of G&T's makes you "appear more intoxicated than you actually are" due to medication.

You also say that you only drink very heavily as long as there is another adult in the house.

You've mentioned multiple reports on you to safeguarding agencies.

You can't really "appear more intoxicated than you are", can you? You are however intoxicated you are. Just because you've had only a couple of drinks, does not mean you are not heavily intoxicated. The fact that your medication, which you are aware of, contributes to your intoxication, does not make you less so.

Your references to drinking heavily if someone else is home is worrying. I honestly don't think many people drink heavily for no reason.

You say you've had reports where the information is otherwise accurate (e.g., person reporting you knew you had another child with you). Yet you aren't sharing who even may have reported you. In such specific circumstances, you must know who is reporting you, based on the situation.

It sounds like there is a problem going on here. I wouldn't worry about proving whether what you're doing is "legal". If there are children at risk because of your behaviour, that's the problem.

It is okay to admit you need help, and services will work with you, not against you, to help you and your DC. I know it sounds really scary and you may think that admitting you are struggling with substance abuse would mean heavy involvement straight away, but it really doesn't.

It sounds like, reading between the lines, the best thing for you to do at this point would be to acknowledge that you understand why there would be concerns, and if it really is becoming a repeated issue, I agree to just stop drinking. Find another way to unwind, pamper yourself, whatever.

There would have to a lot more information missing for any of this to even start to make sense

Were you drunk?

I very much doubt OP will be back. I hope her kids are ok.

What? Never heard of such a thing

As the daughter of a manic depressive alcoholic who eventually died from his addiction, no limit sadly. From my first memory to my last, I never saw my dad sober

If that was necessary there are taxis and ambulances. What do u suppose that parents without cars do?

Sadly, they won't be.

Growing up with an alcoholic parent is it's own special kind of hell.

You never recover from it, even long after they've killed themselves slowly and painfully, dragging everyone else down with them.

@Cerealkiller4U I'm guessing what happened in that situation was that the police were called for something else and found the woman intoxicated whilst caring for her kids, they were deemed to be at immediate risk so social care were called as an urgent matter.

Alcohol dulls reactions and problem solving, so regardless of how they would actually get to the hospital their ability to cope with an emergency would be impaired. Also how do you think the staff at hospital would react if you turned up drunk with an injured child?

You're not operating a motor vehicle but you do need to be able to deal with them waking up vomiting and crying with a fever and caring for them. Some could do this on 4 drinks some couldn't on 2s

I agree especially late in the evening. What did they say? Are you single mum with angry ex?

OP's issues aside (as it sounds like several missing pieces) there is a specific offence of being drunk in charge of a child (under seven) in a public place

www.john-gaunt.co.uk/news/penalty-for-being-drunk-while-in-charge-of-child#:~:text=Parts%20of%20the%20Licensing%20Act,to%20one%20month%20in%20prison.

Yes I agree

'See if the reports stop' op
I'm confused if someone is reporting
You how would they know you stopped drinking unless they live with you, get reports from your kids or go through your bins?

Well that's disconcerting.