Legal amount to drink with children in the house?

[MBRE]

Just that really. Once the kids are in bed, asleep, if I want a G&T or a glass of wine is that legal whilst still "in charge" of the children if their DF is out? What's the limits etc if the police were turn up and breathalyse me? Are they even allowed to do that? So all kids asleep, over the age of three but two under five, two older ones over ten. What's the actual law around this? Anyone know?

There is no legal limit? I always stay on the right side of the drink drive limit though in case DS hurts himself and needs to go to A&E.

There's no law, but you need to be able to look after them. Which you can't do if you're half cut.

10000% this.

What medication are you on OP?

I'd suggest you don't drink at all while looking after kids

Maybe don't drink?

OP, I don't mean this in a mean way...but it sounds like you drink more than you think you do, and Im seriously worried for you and your children.
Especially if you drink on medication as well, it's a very bad mix

The problem is I have a couple of G&Ts and because of medications it makes me appear more intoxicated than I am.

So you aren’t just having 1.
You are are a lot worse than what you are making out.

If your DP is out and you take medication which doesn’t mix well with alcohol, then just don’t drink on those days.

It sounds like the person calling SS has a right to feel concerned.

I've always found that if you ever have to ask others, have had involvement with services over it or constantly try to find out how 'normal' the amount to drink is... then it's probably fair to say that you should stop drinking. Completely.

I've only ever seen alcoholics put this amount of thought into the 'correct' amount to drink, usually in an effort to avoid going tee total as they know they should.

Do you use a proper measurer for your gin?

Clearly the question you actually need to ask yourself is what is a safe amount of alcohol to drink with this medication. I suspect none. In what way does the medication make you seem more intoxicated? Slurring your words? Stumbling? Significantly delayed responses? Unrousable from sleep? None of those would place you in a fit state to be in charge of children. I would imagine that something triggered someone to report you when the other child was removed from your care. Who dropped that child off with you? How old was the child? Did they have a mobile phone?

To recap:

1. You've already had a child removed from your care by social services due to your drinking.

2. You are currently getting calls from the safeguarding team about your drinking.

3. You are taking medication that you know interacts badly with alcohol.

Despite all this you haven't actually stopped drinking. Instead, you're trying to find out the maximum amount you can get away with drinking.

I'd say that's pretty much textbook behaviour for someone with a significant alcohol problem. What are you going to do about it?

No point asking that. How many people who do home measures do?

They can easily be 4-8x a pub measure of gin.

Can I suggest we stop offering any reassurance and advice to this poster except "do not drink at all" There is more going on here than we are being told.

She must have done something disturbing to have them contact her.

Are you able to go a week without alcohol? You seem to be minimising the amount you drink, and the why, and I'm getting the vibe you do actually have a problem.

Speak to your GP and see if they can help you.

Could have been the school reporting concerns.

I agree but I've a feeling the OP won't be back.

I got the impression it was informal foster care rather than a sleepover, and perhaps the child was known to Social Services.

It's the summer holidays, I need to relax at the end of the day

If you need to drink alcohol on top of your medication, in order to relax, you have a problem.

Do you have a reputation as being a heavy drinker?

Could the report have come from the child's other parent, once they learned their child had been left with you?

Op, you've done from one G&T, to a couple of G&ts plus medication, to 'if I am ever too drunk I make sure there is a responsible adult in the house for safeguarding'.

You have a problem. I have a complicated history with drink so I recognise the minimising, bargaining, and rationalising that goes along with it. You say you had the other child in the home for 5 hours before they were removed, that really wasn't an appropriate time to drink. Please do get some help, I wish you luck 💐

This doesn’t make sense.

To answer your first question there isn’t a limit like there is with driving, however, in the care of dependant children you shouldn’t be intoxicated, you could have one or two but you need to be capable of looking after them.

If a report had been received of someone being heavily intoxicated in the care of children, social services wouldn’t pre warn with a phonecall, surely, they’d either turn up unannounced or the police would attend and can immediately remove the children if the risk is so great, however if police remove generally you would be arrested for neglect.

4 you are drinking every evening because you "need to relax"

@MBRE i know you probably won’t come back.

But how old are your kids? How do you know the child that was removed? How do you know their parents?

I wouldn’t be talking to them at all unless they gave me a website where I could access a number to call them back. It’s madness they’d be calling the whole town if the rule was no drink for parents!

This sums it up perfectly, you obviously do have a problem OP