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Original poster

Legal amount to drink with children in the house?

188 replies

MBRE · 15/08/2024 16:50

Just that really. Once the kids are in bed, asleep, if I want a G&T or a glass of wine is that legal whilst still "in charge" of the children if their DF is out? What's the limits etc if the police were turn up and breathalyse me? Are they even allowed to do that? So all kids asleep, over the age of three but two under five, two older ones over ten. What's the actual law around this? Anyone know?

OP posts:
MsJinks · 15/08/2024 18:52

I think it's possibly due to the parent of the child you were watching, if they're under social care and someone believes they've yet again dumped the child somewhere they could well take the child.
They didn't take yours so I assume they saw no immediate danger for them.
However, even if just because of the person you minded the child for you will definitely now have some sort of record with social care and they may follow up.
Alternatively you are the one being monitored already and they don't find you suitable to watch other people's children - maybe your own but not extra. I would assume you would be aware that you are under social care tbh.
Either way though there are concerns about your drinking and it's going to get followed up, so your best bet is to address that, acknowledge it to social and cooperate with them.
It might not seem fair to you but social have the rights to monitor you and your children and generally they expect to see an above average recognition of potential risks to children by their parents - lack of understanding of risk is possibly one of the biggest reasons folk lose their kids.

Skippingropes · 15/08/2024 18:59

It's the summer holidays, I need to relax at the end of the day

Perhaps find a way to relax that doesn't involve alcohol? Even if these are malicious calls, seems weird if you'd rather stress about it than just stop drinking.

Tumbleweed101 · 15/08/2024 19:00

I'm a single parent, if I'd not been able to have a drink with children in the house I wouldn't have had one for years!

I always make sure there will be no need to drive and a back up driver around in an emergency (my brother lives close by and never drinks).

In your case though it sounds more complicated. I wouldn't care for other people's children and have a drink, for example. I hope you find out more info about this so you are able to relax in your home.

AdviceNeeded2024 · 15/08/2024 19:11

Sleepersausage · 15/08/2024 17:31

Why would they rock up and remove a child who was in bed if you were drunk? Drunk on its own isn't an issue surely, drunkness leading to fights or abuse or shouting in the streets is a different thing

Show quote history

Being tipsy or drunk wouldn’t be an immediate safeguarding issue if child is well cared for and you would be capable of still caring for them if they woke up. If you are heavily intoxicated where it poses a risk, even if the child is asleep, on that occasion you would likely be arrested. If there is regular heavy drinking I assume social services would monitor the situation but I’m not familiar with how SS operate on this kind of thing.

Justrelax · 15/08/2024 19:12

There isn't a law but social services can have expectations of you.

Personally I wouldn't ever drink while I have children in my care, even if those children are asleep.

Choochoo21 · 15/08/2024 19:15

HowardTJMoon · 15/08/2024 18:18

To recap:

  1. You've already had a child removed from your care by social services due to your drinking.

  2. You are currently getting calls from the safeguarding team about your drinking.

  3. You are taking medication that you know interacts badly with alcohol.

Despite all this you haven't actually stopped drinking. Instead, you're trying to find out the maximum amount you can get away with drinking.

I'd say that's pretty much textbook behaviour for someone with a significant alcohol problem. What are you going to do about it?

Absolutely this! 👏👏

Otherstories2002 · 15/08/2024 19:18

Let’s be honest here. You’re an alcoholic and you’re trying to establish if there’s a fixed amount you can drink. The answer is no.

there are no medications that make you appear more intoxicated than you are.

Stop drinking around your children. You cannot do it responsibly.

Flibflobflibflob · 15/08/2024 19:18

I say this gently OP, some meds alcohol combos make you look more intoxicated because you ARE more intoxicated.

WhatsMyEmail · 15/08/2024 19:21

Carry on drinking, looking/being more drunk due to your medication and continue appearing on the radar of social services...

Or... just stop drinking.

velvetcoat · 15/08/2024 19:24

HowardTJMoon · 15/08/2024 18:18

To recap:

  1. You've already had a child removed from your care by social services due to your drinking.

  2. You are currently getting calls from the safeguarding team about your drinking.

  3. You are taking medication that you know interacts badly with alcohol.

Despite all this you haven't actually stopped drinking. Instead, you're trying to find out the maximum amount you can get away with drinking.

I'd say that's pretty much textbook behaviour for someone with a significant alcohol problem. What are you going to do about it?

Yep- this. Sorry OP but this whole thread is just weird. Something is going on clearly and its a bit odd your priority seems to be continuing to drink (which you admit does not mix with your medication)

HowardTJMoon · 15/08/2024 19:24

Flibflobflibflob · 15/08/2024 19:18

I say this gently OP, some meds alcohol combos make you look more intoxicated because you ARE more intoxicated.

On the other hand, "I'm not drunk, it's just the tablets I'm taking make me look drunk" is a not uncommon excuse for actually being absolutely wankered on gin.

Josette77 · 15/08/2024 19:24

MBRE · 15/08/2024 17:23

The problem is I have a couple of G&Ts and because of medications it makes me appear more intoxicated than I am. I'm still more than capable of looking after the children. As for the one removed I was told it was because someone attending to the parent had said I was intoxicated and social services decided it was best she was removed.... she had been in my care over five hours at this point and was asleep! As I say if it was because I was intoxicated then why were my own children left without even a welfare check? Just a cock up by social services or more malicious crap being reported about me? I'm driving myself insane trying to figure out who's doing it and why. I'm never so intoxicated I can't care for the children, if I am I make sure I have a sober adult in the house so ensure the children are safeguarded

Show quote history

Why would you ever be so drunk you need another adult in the house?

Honestly it does sound like you have a drinking problem.

Why not quit drinking entirely since social services have been involved twice now?

I think you need to consider that you have a problem.

notbelieved · 15/08/2024 19:25

Ivehearditbothways · 15/08/2024 16:56

Why would you even worry about the police turning up at your door? Most people wouldn’t ever think that the police may turn up at their door to check things. Are there other reasons the police would be after checking on you?

Usually an ex husband or partner claiming all sorts of shit to be true to ecert power and control. And fear. Fear the children will be removed.

Whatoflife · 15/08/2024 19:26

2 people I know, both alcoholics have gone down the ‘oh I seem more drunk than I am because the mixture of drink and meds’. It’s a script.

Otherstories2002 · 15/08/2024 19:28

notbelieved · 15/08/2024 19:25

Usually an ex husband or partner claiming all sorts of shit to be true to ecert power and control. And fear. Fear the children will be removed.

Show quote history

Only that isn’t the concern is it. The concern is how much can she get away with legally drinking.

housethatbuiltme · 15/08/2024 19:29

On private property there isn't technically a limit, having your kids removed is more based on your behavior.

You obviously shouldn't be so drunk that in an emergency you couldn't react. You would never forgive yourself if your kids died in a house fire because you where to drunk to react timely/logically etc...

That said I have seen my mam sober up instantaneously to deal with parenting stuff before (although granted I was a mid-teen not a young child)... it was like a special mam skill she had to go from pissed to instantly sober if her kids needed her.

HowardTJMoon · 15/08/2024 19:41

Whatoflife · 15/08/2024 19:26

2 people I know, both alcoholics have gone down the ‘oh I seem more drunk than I am because the mixture of drink and meds’. It’s a script.

It's certainly one I've heard more than once. And let us not forget the other classics: "I'm not drunk, I'm just tired", "I deserve to have a drink after the day I've had", "Those empty bottles have been there for ages", and "I've only had two drinks" (why is it always "just two"? My ex could be barely able to stand up and she'd still only admit to drinking no more than two glasses of wine. As you say, it really is a script).

cottoncandy260 · 15/08/2024 19:42

WhatsMyEmail · 15/08/2024 19:21

Carry on drinking, looking/being more drunk due to your medication and continue appearing on the radar of social services...

Or... just stop drinking.

Edited

“Just stop drinking”. I’m guessing you haven’t met many alcoholics. You do understand how addiction works, don’t you?

BobbyBiscuits · 15/08/2024 19:47

There's nothing illegal about drinking in your own house if you have children.

Of course if you were too drunk to care for them and that became apparent then rightly SS would get involved or the person could be arrested for neglect.

If you feel your drinking is impeding on your abilities then try and cut down and seek help.

But having a couple of drinks when well cared for kids are in bed seems totally normal I'd imagine.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 15/08/2024 19:49

but how would the anon person know you have stopped drinking ?

surely you know tho not to mix alcohol with medication

and if you really want a drink limit - it would be under the amount you can drink and drive, as if there was ever an emergency you would not be legal to drive - would you

so the answer is - very little !

PuddlesPityParty · 15/08/2024 19:50

supersonicginandtonic · 15/08/2024 17:28

Do you have a history of problematic alcohol use?

Also why are you drinking if your medication reacts with it? This will impact your ability to care for your children properly.

Hmm it’s also gone from one G&T to a couple …

cabbageking · 15/08/2024 19:56

If there is an accident where you need to take the children to the hospital I think always staying below the DD limit would be a wise decision.

StarDolphins · 15/08/2024 20:02

I regularly have a drink when I have my child (at weekends) . As in, I couldn’t drive them to a hospital but could make perfectly capable decisions.

Op, as long as you’re not drunk & irresponsible, all is fine!

Scirocco · 15/08/2024 20:10

OP, it really does sound like you have a problem with alcohol. I suggest you speak with your GP about accessing support for it, before things get worse.

WhatsMyEmail · 15/08/2024 20:21

cottoncandy260 · 15/08/2024 19:42

“Just stop drinking”. I’m guessing you haven’t met many alcoholics. You do understand how addiction works, don’t you?

Show quote history

Yes I do understand how addiction works, but I am not presuming the OP is an alcoholic.

Now, if the OP can't 'just stop drinking' (as this is clearly an immediate solution to her dilemma) then that should be an alarm bell to her that her drinking is more of an issue and she needs to seek some support.

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