Left my toddler in the car yesterday. Will I be in trouble?

[LivelyLion]

Yesterday, my 21 month old had just fallen asleep in the car as I was on my way home. I needed to call into the supermarket to get her some food, so parked in the closest possible parking space and ran in as quickly as I could and was gone for a couple of minutes tops.

When I returned, what seemed to be an employee was taking pictures of the car and rightfully gave me a telling off for leaving her in the car unattended. Now I can’t stop feeling guilty and can’t stop thinking about the consequences. Is this a social service matter or even a police matter if he passes those photos on? My child had woke by the time I got back which makes me feel worse and I feel like it makes the situation seem worse. What are the possible repercussions?

Bit dramatic

just a microwave meal that she had for her tea

Well. now you have opened up a whole new can of judgey-pants worms with that revelation

Never mind ‘out of sight’. You shouldn’t leave them alone in a car ANYWHERE at any time and that’s that. What were you thinking?
As a previous poster said, you will probably have learned your lesson. I sincerely hope so!

But people do steal cars.

10 seconds in a hot stationary car and I'm sweating. Even if the windows are open a crack. You just don't do it to a child or an animal for a few minutes of inconvenience.

I think you've had enough of a fright OP. Things are ok this time. I don't think you'll be tempted again.

A reasoned, sensible approach instead of just lining up to put the boot in to a frightened mum, who has already repeatedly acknowledged that she made an error. Yes, lots of things COULD have happened, but very thankfully they didn’t.
The most important aspect is that this action is not repeated.

Would you leave your purse or handbag on show in the car ?......thought not. But a precious child you would risk it.... hmmm !

And I should have added - no, you're very unlikely to get a SS visit. The threshold is so high, they can't even see to genuine cases of neglect and abuse, let alone a loving mother leaving a well cared for child in a car for 2 minutes while they pop into a shop.

This is fucking insane. It’s not about being 2 or 3 minutes. If something happened to you in store- medical episode, a trip or fall rendering you unconscious- your toddler would have been alone in the car whilst you got carted off to hospital.

Its more what could happen op. What if you had slipped on supermarket, hit your head and you ended up unconscious on the way to hospital - dc in the car and no one knows they are there.

You must have been gone longer than two minutes. Please do not do this again.

I bloody hate the 'Back in the day' brigade. Sorry, but lessons were learned, or at least, they should have been. Yes people will be angry, angry because you KNEW it was wrong, you knew, yet you still did it.
How many kids have to go missing or die in a hot car because the parent will 'Only be a minute'.
It sickens me, because yes, a child being taken may still be rare, but why give anyone the opportunity, least of all a poor little un waking up alone with no-one around, thats horrible for them! Or god forbid someone hits your car?
Back in the day, I ask you!
Back in the day John my disabled daughters life expectancy was 12 years, now its 85 years, things move on, we learn, we grow, and so should you.

I don’t have children myself but I am quite surprised at the beating being given to OP.

The main risks seem to be:

1. Hot car
2. Kidnapping

As to the first, what if it was cool where Op was?

As to the second, okay it is a risk but surely context matters. It’s hardly LIKELY a kidnapper would go smashing into her car in broad daylight in the middle of a busy car park filled with shoppers and CCTV cameras is it.

At what age is it okay to leave a child in a car? I remember waiting in the car regularly as a child.

My friend did this and there was a tannoy announcement in the supermarket about a child in a car. She did have a police visit afterwards, but nothing came of it and that might not happen to you

There's a reason these things are illegal, if inconvenient.
I was a teenager left in the car with my toddler step brother while my dad ran into the shop for a few things so he wasn't even left alone, but I wasn't left the keys, it was really hot and I had to open the car doors as much as I could in a tight car parking space and even then there was no real air flow so I climbed into the back seat and was fanning my over heating and visibly sweating brother with a piece of paper. It was terrifying and I would never leave my child alone, not just for this reason, you have no idea what could happen.
Yes every thing is a risk but for what reward? A ready meal, it seems unlikely there was no other food in your home that you could have fed your child that night. Was their nap really so important that you couldn't have woken them up and done your shop as planned?
I've been in your situation, we all have, the inconvenience of getting a sleeping child out of the car and into the shop when you really need to buy just 2 items, but its a slippery slope and its always safer to take them with you than leave them behind so that's the line.
It's likely nothing will come of it. I've been in the waitrose car park twice in my local area in the space of a month and seen children left if the car by their parents. It's shocking to me, but some people are obviously okay with it and in all honestly I hope that social services are focusing their attentions on more serious situations.

Just to add this was about 18 years ago and the police might be more stretched now

The hysteria on this thread is absolutely wild!

I feel like you already feel bad enough. I would stop looking at these comments.

We all have to make judgements all the time about the likelihood of a risk vs the severity of a risk with children. In a lot of cases it's not super clear cut, or not as clear cut as people are making out here.

It sounds unlikely the child was at risk from the heat from what you've said.

There are much worse cases of neglect happening all the time. To put things into perspective, I once found a toddler (probably around the same age as yours) alone in his pram crying outside a betting shop on a busy street. I waited around for a few minutes and eventually what I assumed was the father came back out for him. This kind of thing is what Social Services should be looking at.

@Omlettes

I don't have a clue what you think I'm doing?

There are a lot harsher replies.

I do hear what you are saying and it is factual correct to say there is risk involved but you only seem to be considering the downsides ignoring the risk 'back in the day'.

There were upsides too - do you acknowledge any more relaxed parenting approaches as beneficial to children's (& their parents') wellbeing and development (Vs today's extremely risk adverse approach)?

I can't believe someone thinks it's safer to carry a baby in a carseat and a toddler in the other arm across a petrol station forecourt than to run in while they are safely strapped in the car. If the toddler wriggled free and tried to run off, or you tripped and fell, or were hit by a reversing car or suddenly taken ill as many on this thread seem to think happens all the time the consequence would be much worse. There are risks in all choices we make. It's never just safe or dangerous. A lot of over the top judgement on this thread

But you must acknowledge this is unlikely? I don't think this is the most relevant reason why not to leave your child in the car.

What if she had a medical episode in the car with the toddler? Or while bathing them? Or cooking while there were just the two of them in the house?

All equally as possible and actually likely to have much worse outcomes.

But all of those other scenarios are unavoidable. It's not really a choice to be at home alone with a baby, but it's definitely a choice to actively leave a baby in a car.

For the umpteenth time, it’s not bloody hot everywhere. 🤦🏻‍♀️
(I wish it was ‘cos you lot are making me feel quite envious now)

Try and imagine a mild day in October. It was cool and wet where I live yesterday. I had the demister going and the wipers on when I was driving. I could be sat in my car all day with the windows up and I can guarantee I won’t have overheated. I was even wearing my bloody fleece jacket for goodness sake. 😂

No wonder the U.K. is full of anxiety ridden hypochondriacs judging by some of the risk averse posters on this thread. It’s a wonder you dare leave your house for all the baddies waiting to pounce. 🤣🤣

OP, come on MN and posters will talk to you as if it's common knowledge that kids die left 2 mins in a car when it's 15 degrees outside. They'll tell you that men (always men) lure around cars evenings to look for children left behind for 10 seconds to still them. Or that out of all the cars they can still, they will always lick the one with a child, even it's a 10 years old banger.

In real life, most people will tell you that it was not the best alternative choice to make but that they, their parents or grandparents did much much worse and nothing ever happened.

Don't beat yourself up. It's not worth it. In the worse case scenario that SS comes knocking on your door for a talk, just be honest, that it was a spur of the moment decision wondering what you'll feed your child, that you realised the moment you came out that it was wrong and you'll never do it again. End of. Take care.