Left my toddler in the car yesterday. Will I be in trouble?

[LivelyLion]

Yesterday, my 21 month old had just fallen asleep in the car as I was on my way home. I needed to call into the supermarket to get her some food, so parked in the closest possible parking space and ran in as quickly as I could and was gone for a couple of minutes tops.

When I returned, what seemed to be an employee was taking pictures of the car and rightfully gave me a telling off for leaving her in the car unattended. Now I can’t stop feeling guilty and can’t stop thinking about the consequences. Is this a social service matter or even a police matter if he passes those photos on? My child had woke by the time I got back which makes me feel worse and I feel like it makes the situation seem worse. What are the possible repercussions?

You are lucky your child is still alive. Jesus christ.

Bloody hell OP- what an awful decision on your part.

There was less traffic
Communities were smaller/people generally knew each other so would be keeping an eye out anyway
That's not a hot car
You actual have more visibility of a child in a pushchair out side a local shop than a car parked among hundreds of others at a large supermarket (although snatching would be more of a risk from a pushchair)

OP I would not leave my bag on show in the car let alone a child.
I hope you understand what you did was wrong and will never do such a thing again whether or not you get reported.

Slight over reaction

Look everyone, she knows it was the wrong thing to do, she has said so.

Many people make an error of judgement under pressure, and she is admitting to this here - she isn't the first stressed mom to misjudge a situation. I have made mistakes in my life too, I think most of us have. The important thing is that we acknowledge them and learn from them so we don't repeat them, not to hate ourselves forever......

OP, I am not sure whether anybody will contact you - it seems unlikely to me, but hopefully somebody from social services will post who has a better understanding of the likely response.

If SS does get in touch, it's vital you acknowledge responsibility and take on board any advice they give you.

I know you feel frightened now, but you aren't going to end up in prison or with your child removed from you or anything like that. You do need to engage with their advice however.

More importantly, can you identify what we're the pressures that led up to you making this decision. Are you finding it difficult to cope with your toddler at the moment - does taking her out in public stress you out? Or are you feeling exhausted for example and struggling to keep on top of things.

And if any of the above is true, is there anything you can change/anyone you can reach out to for help, to try and avoid an equivalent situation in the future?

Good luck.

Kids don't usually overheat and die in prams.

OP it is a really really stupid thing you did. Thankfully all is OK, this time. Hopefully you have learned that this is not acceptable.

Op, you're rightly getting a big telling off here.

Have you tried click and collect? It's so easy, your LO can stay asleep while you load the car.

Also try getting the pram out first, quickly moving LO into it and then the pram motion might jog them back to sleep.

Alternatively just wait in the car till they wake up, that's what most people do

I am not a precious mum and don't get my kids out of the car at the petrol station etc..... but what you did was so dangerous. Anything could have happened to your child and you wouldn't be able to see them or know what was happening. You deserve this shocking wake up call and never, ever leave your child in the car and go bloody shopping ever again!

I hope that it is a social services referral, at the very least you need a parenting course.

I would strongly suspect there is cctv showing her leave the child unintended.

That was a really bad decision. Why didn't you just take her in with you?

Silly thing to do but I doubt much will come from it.
If the guy reports it then you'll probably be contacted by police or social services to warn you not to do it again.

A few days ago, when it was a hot day, somebody called the police after seeing a 2 year old asleep in a car in a parent and toddler bay at our local Asda.

Police turned up and smashed front window to let some air in, announcement was made over tannoy for the mother to return to the car.

20 minutes later, she returned with a whole food shop and said her child was fine. He was in the arms of a police officer by this point. She was screaming at police and kicking off about the damage done to her car to get the poor child out.

She was arrested for spitting at the police officer and social services are now involved.

It could have been a lot worse than a worker stood by your car taking photos when you were gone a "couple of minutes" your car could have been hit, your baby could have overheated, the possibilities are endless.

I think you'll have to take this as a lesson learned and please don't ever do it again.

I suspect if social services have any involvement, it will be a phone call telling you not to do it again. The threshold for any meaningful involvement from them is pretty high

It was a bad decision, you know it was a bad decision, some of the hysteria on here is a bit much.

Stop panicking. After all, it partly depends on where you live! In a busy town or city, I probably wouldn’t do that, but somewhere quite rural, not a problem.

It wasn’t that long ago that I used to leave my toddler asleep in the car and go buy a takeaway coffee. I live in a quiet rural backwater with a very low crime rate and the car had very dark tinted windows so you’d have to really peer in to see him. Leaving him to snooze happily was much better than unnecessarily disturbing his nap.

Also, it’s not hot where I live, max 16°c yesterday and wet.

Omg imagine leaving your baby in a car!!!!
I wouldn't leave a baby anywhere alone!!

Realistically, nothing will happen.
In an ideal world you'd get some kind of police visit for child neglect

This is an absolutely mad attitude to risk?! You can agree that it's not sensible to leave a child in a car, but not that it has only survived due to luck!

Oh that’s okay then .. at least you got your coffee 🙄

If she hadn't spat at the officer it might have been different

Exactly. Priorities!

Fucking hell, some of these replies. Kick a woman while she’s down, right? I thought MN was supposed to be supportive?

Great post @Ilovelurchers

Sometimes we do stupid things and it takes something like a stranger taking photos of a car or whatever to shock us into not doing it again.

If I find it, I'll link the article. About 3 weeks ago I think there was a mom in America that was picking up her son from daycare.
She popped him in and realized she forgot something inside.
She popped in to fetch it and came running back out when someone tried to hijiack her car (with her son inside)
She was run over by the car and died in hospital a few hours later...

I'm also sometimes tempted to leave my kids somewhere. We all reason ist just 30 seconds.
But then I remind myself of all the things that could go wrong.
It's never worth it.