Left my toddler in the car yesterday. Will I be in trouble?

[LivelyLion]

Yesterday, my 21 month old had just fallen asleep in the car as I was on my way home. I needed to call into the supermarket to get her some food, so parked in the closest possible parking space and ran in as quickly as I could and was gone for a couple of minutes tops.

When I returned, what seemed to be an employee was taking pictures of the car and rightfully gave me a telling off for leaving her in the car unattended. Now I can’t stop feeling guilty and can’t stop thinking about the consequences. Is this a social service matter or even a police matter if he passes those photos on? My child had woke by the time I got back which makes me feel worse and I feel like it makes the situation seem worse. What are the possible repercussions?

This thread is wild. She locked the car and left her sleeping child for 5 minutes tops. OK, maybe it wasn't the best thing to do but it's hardly on par with leaving the child stood beside a motorway for 5 mins.

I used to think MN was a place with sensible women helping one another out with advice. Sadly not anymore. It just appears to be full of self righteous people who seem to enjoy coming across a thread where they can put the boot in.

This is shocking, no wonder you haven’t come back and said anything. I wouldn’t DREAM of leaving my child in the car on their own! Heat, other cars, strangers, just no! I do hope you get a phone call, hope you’ve learnt your lesson, before it’s too late!

I literally found someone who had done this the other day.

its completely inappropriate and I called staff member as the little girl was crying her eyes out.

it’s not ok. All it takes is someone to hit the car. Steal the car.

terrible. Especially in hotter weather too

There is no need to be so rude. I wasn't rude to op, just told a story. I'm aware she doesn't live in the US .
I just said this story helped me reflect a bit. Even though the chances of anything happening is slim, if that thing ( overheating, highjacking etc) happens the results are devastating .
Vs something that has a higher chance of happening but the results aren't as devastating.

This. 100%.

This was on Saturday I called the staff for a child left in the car who was crying their eyes out. But ok when mummy came back. But I was outside a good 7 mins whilst the mum just went shopping. I mean what???

@PotNoodleNancy
Just to clarify, you've never heard of a car being stolen in the whole of the UK.
I don't think what I said was that preposterous.

This. Just don’t ever do it.

Sorry OP, I have a 23 month old and a 6 month old and I can't imagine doing this. I had to get petrol the other day with both in the car and ended up walking into the petrol station with my baby in the carrier, holding my toddler on my hip! A pain for sure but I couldn't leave them out of my sight.

I am not telling you this to make you feel bad, but I feel a reality check is needed so it doesn't happen again.

As parents we are constantly learning from our errors and it is that which is important so we become better parents. It's a constantly evolving process.

We all make mistakes and errors of judgement. Don't beat yourself up, but learn from them 😊

All the best. X

Its likely you will get a phone call or visit from SS. When that happens accept you made a mistake, apologise, say you have learned how dangerous it is and will never do it again. And mean it.

Don’t ever do it again. Not safe.

Thanks. I just want to preface this by saying I already knew I had done something awful before posting this. I knew it was awful while doing it and aren’t just ‘scared’ about the consequences as some are suggesting, but the employee talking to me further clarified what I did was wrong. I wasn’t looking for anyone to defend me I was just concerned about the possible repercussions as anyone would be.

And the scenario you described is a much more realistic representation of what happened rather than some are suggesting. My original plan was to do a big grocery shop WITH my toddler, but when I realised she was asleep I made the silly decision to run in alone and not even collect 3 items, just a microwave meal that she had for her tea. As I mentioned in my post, I in the nearest space which was literally right by the shop entrance, and used the self scanners and honestly only a few minutes.

It was in the evening time and much more mild where I lived again which is different from what others are suggesting.

I appreciate everyone’s concerns, I feel no need to justify myself to anyone one here, that would be between me and SS if things did go further. But thought I would add some context to those who are concerned. Leaving a child in a boiling hot car to do a full food shop is much different than what I did.

Again, I fully understand BOTH are wrong. Its not something I have done before and certainly won’t do again realises that anything can happen to me whilst I’m inside the shop, but you don’t think of that when making a split decision.

Thank you all for your comments. I’m sorry I don’t have time to reply to everyone, whether you are giving me advice or are ridiculing me I am grateful as you’ve further clarified the dangers of what I have done

The hysteria on this thread is ridiculous. She ran into a shop for TWO mins while her child slept.

Yes, bad stuff happens in this world but we take calculated risks all the time, it’s called living… putting your child in a car in the first place is a risk but we do it everyday. Ten people get killed on our roads everyday, how many children get snatched?

Unbelievable.

You’re worried and rightly so. Have you not seen the countless news articles about babies and toddlers dying from heat exhaustion from being left on hot cars ? Two minutes or not anything could have happened, there’s lots of predators about.

I think you know you’ve made a big mistake and sound genuinely regretful. You’ve learned an important lesson and don’t need everyone else making you feel even worse. I suspect if anybody does contact you it will be a ‘talking to’ and nothing more provided there is no further cause for concern.

I'm in team 'this was totally normal back in the day'.

No harm has occurred so forget it and move on, no need for all the angst and dramatics.

I recently had a situation like this are work. Police were made aware and had strong words with the mum when she returned. She nearly had the glass on her car door broken to retrieve the child, but returned before this occured. A referral to social care was made. They will likely contact you, particularly if concerns have been raised in the past.

Please never leave your child in a car. As well as the physical health concerns (hot cars, not being monitored and becoming unwell), but also the emotional damage. They are old enough to realise mummy was not there. Also the risk from others. Appreciate your car was locked but if the wrong person was present at this time they could take your child but just smashing a window.

Everything of the above!!

imagine if there was a fire alarm or lockdown and you couldn’t get out or suffering a medical episode and not being able to tell anyone about your DD.

What possessed you to just leave her? Well done to that warden for spotting her - he should be commended for this. I think you’ll get a call and someone will have a chat with you. Learn your lesson and be grateful that nothing happened to your child.

People do not break into cars to steal toddlers.
If there are no other concerns, they will just give you a warning.

Even 20 years ago this would have been seen as normal.. I had toddler ds and dd in nursery.. lots of us parked to do pick up and left sleeping babies / toddlers in the car outside. Not saying OP didn’t make a mistake, and I wouldn’t make that choice now, but it’s not a hanging offence either.

Social services won’t do anything. They don’t have the resources. Don’t do it again! Don’t beat yourself up either.

Jesus Christ. No you won't get social services knocking at your door for this. Yes it was risky, no it wasn't worth it and I wouldn't do it again if I were you but I think you know that. You don't deserve the kicking you're getting on this thread!

Actually if all they have is your registration number absolutely nothing will happen. Social Services do not track people down for minor things. Bunch of hysterics on this thread.

What you’ve learned is that now you’ve had a child you will walk with the judgement of strangers your entire life.

Public shaming, particularly when a child is involved, will never leave you. It changes who you are and rightly or wrongly will become your paranoid voice over every decision you make going forward.

Try and accept it has happened and most importantly - forgive yourself. You did not set out that day to hurt your child. You made a spare-of-the-moment decision that you know was incredibly unlikely to cause harm to your child, but the employee wasn’t privy to the knowledge you had re. the time you planned to be away and the circumstances leading up to your decision.

I think it’s incredibly important to recognise actions made in good faith against actions made in bad faith, and not lump it all together under the umbrella of child abise/neglect. Another useful thing for me, if I’m cross with myself for a bad parenting choice, is how I was raised and the absolute hair-raising parenting decisions my mum and dad thought were okay in the eighties. Latch key kid from 6 anyone!!!! I mean my god the stuff I remember would be social services all day long.

So sit in the moment of this. Feel the heat of public shame and use it as a learning tool. And forgive yourself ❤️

Horrible ‘parenting’