Left my toddler in the car yesterday. Will I be in trouble?

[LivelyLion]

Yesterday, my 21 month old had just fallen asleep in the car as I was on my way home. I needed to call into the supermarket to get her some food, so parked in the closest possible parking space and ran in as quickly as I could and was gone for a couple of minutes tops.

When I returned, what seemed to be an employee was taking pictures of the car and rightfully gave me a telling off for leaving her in the car unattended. Now I can’t stop feeling guilty and can’t stop thinking about the consequences. Is this a social service matter or even a police matter if he passes those photos on? My child had woke by the time I got back which makes me feel worse and I feel like it makes the situation seem worse. What are the possible repercussions?

Agreed

I see that you can’t understand my post. That’s ok. Your words about me actually apply to yourself. I don’t mention stealing at all. Have a read again. I compare LEAVING precious items and leaving what is the most precious of all a child.I remember this website as well from the start. Posts such as yours did not happen then.

What if you got held up in the shop? Regardless afew minutes is too long, unfortunately you just need to get them up

Of course, famously cars never crash / go on fire and there are no rapists or murders in rural backwaters

There's also not rapists or murderers hanging about in every supermarket car park.

OP, you know it was the wrong thing to do, I imagine you may get a call but it probably won't go further than that.

I think you’ll get a call. Lesson learnt. Some of the answers are very extreme, I’ve known lots of people who left sleeping kids in cars for a few minutes. Not something I ever did but I definitely was called over protective when I’d bundle DD up take her with me whether she was awake or asleep.

I don't think anything will happen. At most you might get a phone call.

This.
I'm sorry but why would you even think of doing this.
This should be a crime.
Well done that supermarket employee.

I only leave my dog in the car for 5 minutes maximum if I'm paying for petrol etc and I can see him.

OP - this isn't ok, but I daresay you know that now.

Don't beat yourself up over it too much, it was a very big mistake - and fortunately there are no consequences, and youj won't do it again

It was boiling in my car yesterday. There is no way you were there for just 2 minutes.

Oh simmer down!

Children do not die in 2 minutes.

Social services are MUCH too stretched to care.

And it's not a crime so the police don't care either.

Honestly mumsnet. Stop putting the boot in.

Most of us have done this at some point OP

The fact you're posting on here shows you think what you did is ok. Nobody expects to get hit by a car on the way in, get delayed at the checkout, have a heart attack in the shop etc., leaving the toddler unnoticed in the car for hours... besides expecting a kidnapping, overheating, a distressed child waking alone, if you make it back in the expected "few minutes". This is appalling. I have twin toddlers and wouldn't consider not waking them to drag them starving hungry out of the car, into a trolley or pushchair and into the shop to get them food, before getting them out of the trolley or pushchair and back in the car. Because leaving them in the car would be an INSANE thing to do.

Wpuld just like to point out the child was at much more risk when the OP was actually driving the car!

It's not the best thing to do, but posters here don't have a good grasp of objective risk. Most of us have done it to pay for petrol etc.

No one is going to break into your car and steal your child in a bust supermarket car park. They'd be spotted in seconds and child kidnaps are actually very very rare.

So the main risk was your child waking up distressed, which is a reason not to do this again. But also, we all make mistakes

I needed to call into the supermarket to get her some food, so parked in the closest possible parking space and ran in as quickly as I could and was gone for a couple of minutes tops
It wasn't anything like a "couple of minutes, tops", was it op? Sounds most unlikely, and minimising like this doesn't make what you did sound any better.

They also frequently provide layers of unnecessary detail to their relating of the incident as they know deep down that what they did was stupid and wrong. As if somehow their self serving non existent risk dismissal can be explained away by adding those details “I honestly could see my car from the shop the whole time” “I only went in for a loaf of bread and some milk” “it wasn’t a hot day” “they were asleep” blah blah fucking blah.

as is the case on this thread not only with the OP but several others.

Surely you know this isn’t acceptable? Wtf honestly

I sat in a car a few months ago on a day when the weather was like summer. I stayed in the car because my leg was injured whilst the family went shopping.

I couldn't believe how hot it got so fast when all the doors were shut. I opened them to let air in. Then I shut them again as someone wanted to park in the space next to us. Again the heat was stifling really quickly.

I don't think I.would have ever done what you did nor leave a dog, but I also never realised the speed that the cabin heats up with all.the doors and windows closed.

I've no idea if anything will.come of it but don't do it again.

When my baby was 8 weeks old a car smashed into her side of the car while we were getting petrol. My partner was inside paying but I was thankfully sat next to her. I can’t even imagine the horror if I’d quickly nipped inside and come back seeing a car smashed into mine. She was okay but hysterical and scared her to death.

Maybe this changed my perspective but I wouldn’t even leave my toddler in the car when getting petrol

Paying for petrol on a forecourt in full view of your car is NOT the same as going into a supermarket

It is never actually a couple of minutes

All the possible scenarios mentioned - taking ill in supermarket, car getting hit - are vanishingly unlikely.

Being a parent to a toddler is exhausting and sometimes overwhelming - do we not trust mothers to do their own risk analysis, weighing up the risks versus making life a little bit easier? If there’s a long queue in the shop, you dump groceries and run back to the car.

Children don’t die in the car when you’re in it, and driving - my last car had no air con - yes oc parked up on a warm day IS dangerous, but parked up in the shade with the windows open a crack is fine.

It just seems like a circular firing squad of woman-blaming. There’s another active thread on here about a grown up man who killed his little half-sister by punching her in the head, and facing no charges; and here we all are on this thread, punitively self-policing each other for buying milk & nappies the wrong way.

It’s one of those public health messages that’s exaggerated simply because it’s too difficult to include nuance in the messaging.

There is no excuse for this. So what if they were asleep? Take the child out, if they are grumpy they're grumpy.

How long were you really in the store? Because it sounds like the employee may have been alerted by another customer so went out to invest and phone authorities but photos were taken in case you left before they arrived.

You know this is unacceptable and I would expect Social services and police to attend your address and a protection order be put in place. It has been incredibly hot the last few days, and would be even hotter in the car which is probably why your poor child woke up. Do you not realise how quickly they can over heat?

It's disgraceful and there is no excuse.

Oh OP what a silly thing to do * sigh. So many warning gonout to parents about this re hot cars, emergency another vehicle hitting yours whilst parked let alone the world is full of horrid people.
Yes you will likely get a visit if they report it, which is justified and I hope theybgave tbh as they should follow up like you'd expect anyone else to do if you saw the same. Learn this lesson and don't do it again. If toddler is asleep sit it out or keep a foldable cheap buggy in car and transfer her over takes 2 secs

Social services may follow up with a call or visit to ensure your child is safe (if this incident was reported). The employee was concerned and had a duty of care, who was to say you hadn’t nipped further into town or had an accident?

You know you were irresponsible, your child should not have been left in the car and out of your sight, even for a couple of minutes.

This is comparing apples with oranges. Most people would agree that mobilising by car is a necessary part of modern life. We do what we can do minimise risk but cannot eliminate it. Leaving a child in a hot car unattended is a completely unnecessary risk that's bringing nobody any real benefit or joy, especially the child. I think you need to develop a better understanding of risk vs hazard. Nobody is saying that the risk is high in this case. The hazard is unthinkable though and totally avoidable.

True however prams are not cars shops had awnings so they were in the shade

Shops were smaller lives were smaller people looked out for each other you went in for a loaf of bread and came out you weren't in and around and around then getting served and tapping your card only for it to want your pin number etc etc

See the difference?