Child maintenance high earner 50/50

[Needadviceslug]

I earn about 17k a year, part of which is PIP and being reassessed, so could drop below 15k a year. I have health issues and can't work more then I do unfortunately. I am struggling.

He earns 100k a year.

We have 50/50 shared care.

What this really means is we have them equal amounts of over nights over a 2 week period. I do after schools except for 2 evenings a week where he has 2 of the children while I take the other one to one of their hobbies. I have them school holidays etc.

I buy their essentials.
I pay for school trips etc
We split their hobbies between us
I do all the emotional labour for them. He won't even put the school notice app onto his phone so he knows what's going on.

He "Disney dads it". Will argue about buying new school shoes but will happily buy them an iPad. They have everything they want at his house. Here they have little and have to share a room.

There is a big money discrepancy in our lifestyle and ability and income. I didn't work and damaged my career being a stay at home parent because he thought it would be best and refused to support me to work paying childcare or anything before we split. I basically supported his career and now he has a great career and I have scraps.

I get the child benefit

I assumed there would be no child maintenance to pay as we have 50/50 shared care.
However on the advice of a friend I just looked up the calculator. It says I would be entitled to £631 a month even though it's 50/50 shared care.

I have raised this to him and he is adamant I am wrong. He's sending me screen shots of the government website saying there is nothing payable 50/50 shared care. He's now looking at fathers rights forums and is adamant he owes me nothing.

So does he owe me maintenance or not?

I am so tired of being poor and struggling while my kids all think Dad is amazing.

We parent amicably. I don't want to explode out situation putting a CMS claim in if I am likely to still get nothing.

If just feels unfair that I (stupidly) gave up my career so we didn't have to pay childcare so he could build his and now my kids see me as the house with little and him as gives them everything Dad when although technically we have shared care 50/50 really I still do all the emotional labour and am responsible for the essential stuff.

Is the government calculator correct or not?

CMS shared care rules are a mess. There is regulation 46 shared care, where he gets a deduction for each night of the week he has them to stay. Then there's Regulation 50 shared care that means he pays nothing as he's no more the absent parent than you are.

From the sound of things you do more of the care then him so go ahead - apply to the CMS but keep a record of everything you do. He may well appeal and you will need to produce evidence of all that you do that is unmatched by him.

If he’s still having them on his nights though that would be 50/50 as calculations are based on night stays not day time visits. The best thing for you to do would be go through CMS they ask how many nights in a year the children stay over with paying parent, so you’d need to count how many overnight stays in a year enter that then they will make the calculations for you. I know you said you didn’t want to go through CMS but if he’s not willing to negotiate you either carry on as you are or CMS

I’d still class that as 50/50 as CMS count the over night stays when making calculations not day visits, so if he’s still having them on his overnights which seem to be split equally that’s 50/50. Doesn’t seem fair though to not have them in the day during holidays, the dad really should be sorting childcare out

OP he financially abused you during your relationship and he's still financially abusing you now. Time for you to get angry, take the excellent advice here and quit acting as his unpaid babysitter.

Does anybody know why the CMS calculator claims that even with 50/50 over nights he would owe me £631? It's very confusing. It seems to say on the government website that if 50/50 shared care no parent owes either any money but then you put the figures with his income and 50/50 nights into the calculator and it comes back with £631 owed. It's so confusing.

Isn’t there a footnote to it saying that on 50/50 arrangements the amount shown will be wrong?

Here.

I think he is right because it is done on overnights but he is absolutely gaming the system.

I would tell him he can have 50:50 but that needs to include school pick ups/after school club and during the day holiday childcare on his days or you will happily have them overnight and he can pay maintenance

Ring CMS and ask them

You need to get a court order.

Currently he's doing enough "overnights" to make it look like 50/50 shared care.

But for the 13 weeks school holidays you are providing all food and drinks and entertainment costs for the days he's meant to have them and you aren't receiving any monetary support for him towards those costs.

Courts will also look at the equity between the 2 houses and I would imagine will either increase his time and expect him to find care or expect him to pay towards the extra time you have them compared to him.

The calculator says on it it's not for 50/50 care

*You will not have anything to pay through the Child Maintenance Service if you are:

sharing care equally with the other parent
a full-time student with no income
in prison*

Yes someone will work with has to pay maintenance as their earnings are a lot higher than the ex. Even with 50/50

Yes CMS is payable for high earners even in 50/50 care

This is what it says on the calculator. So you'll have to apply separately in the case of a higher earner - I'd contact cms

Ah ok I totally missed that. It's so confusing that it just works it out wrong though instead of just coming back with zero owed.

Would that trigger any claim or can you just ring for advice?

Yeah it's because it's just a basic calculator it doesn't have all the rules and stuff in behind it for higher earner calculations

I think you should add up the number of hours you have your children and the number of hours he has them per week, when they are awake. Having them 7pm-9am but they are asleep for most of that isn’t the same as 6.30am-7pm. Also do the same for a standard week in the holidays. Work out the percentage split and show him

Yes do this - and if he says he can't have them without you doing that... Then problem solved you're no longer 50/50 and he owes you even more maintenance

OP you sound like a really nice person, who's sacrificed their own career, and he's completely gaming the system so he doesn't have to do much on "his days" yet owes you the least amount of maintenance possible because technically he's doing overnights.

Please don't let him get away with this

He is absolutely playing the system here and you are enabling this he doesn’t even drop them to you or pick them up ?

You are been an absolute walk over and you do this because you want the best for your kids . He does this because he knows he can .

I would definitely suggest medication . How old are the dc involved in this ?

i found this which explains why some might still be entitled to child maintenance even if 50/50 care

watson-thomas.co.uk/help-and-advice/31-help-and-advice-children/182-child-maintenance-when-you-have-an-equal-share-in-parenting#:~:text=Even%20if%20your%20children%20share,the%20party%20to%20receive%20maintenance.

I would put in a claim and if that doesn’t work then get a court order. Your situation isn’t 50/50 - he’s just babysitting them some nights!

How old are the children? Who has them when you are working? Do you pay for childcare?