Will reading - can executor exclude DIL of dear departed from attending

[Macmoominmamma]

Hi all

Grateful for your wise advice please.

FIL is receiving end of his life care and is currently in hospital, too weak to be moved. He has left a Will and named executors for his Will reading. DIL and he have long been hostile and he wants her excluded from this Will reading, with only BIL, DH and myself in attendance. BIL’s wife (DIL) is kicking off and insisting on attending the Will reading.

DH doesn’t want her to attend as he knows his DF can’t stand her. And frankly SIL can’t stand her FIL either 🤷‍♀️.

Question is - can the executors decide who can attend. And does it make a difference if DH and BIL are the executors? Context DH and BIL are cordial but tense as SIL has caused friction between them.

Families eh! 😔

Do they do will readings in this country ( outside of TV Dramas)? We've never had one,

Does there have to be a will reading? We’ve never had that - the executors read the will, give a copy where appropriate and do things as they are.

Your DH can’t overrule the other executor so he’d be far better just having the two of them, rather than having his wife there and expecting BIL to be ok with his excluded

I’m thinking maybe you live outside of UK maybe?

What "will reading?"
Does that even happen nowadays? Don't you just get given/sent a copy and you read it in the comfort of your own home over a cup of tea?

”Will reading” isn’t a thing in UK. Anyone can obtain a copy of a probated will for £10 from the relevant website.

You must live outside of the UK? Will reading isn’t a thing here.

Wills aren't "read" in the U.K.

The executors have to sort out the probate after which the will is public anyway

The below is a good rundown of the procedure with wills.

"The executor is the only person that must read the Will. It is up to the executor’s discretion as to who else gets to see the Will. Beneficiaries are not required by English Law to receive a copy of the Deceased’s Will or to be informed of the contents. If a person is not an executor or beneficiary, they have no rights at all to see the will or be told of its contents and the executor has no obligation to provide this information, even if the person requesting is a family member."

This is helpful. What's the source please?

It's from a site called 'Final Duties'.
https://finalduties.co.uk/reading-of-the-will-myth-or-reality/

It's the site of a probate broker, so a commercial venture - more information on the About Us page. But any site giving information on procedures, such as one run by a law firm, would also be commercial. They should still be accurate on the legal basics.

Will reading is not a particular thing in the UK. The executors read the will and act accordingly once probate has been granted.

A Will Reading might happen for some nobility or royalty I guess, but it isn't required as others have said.

Are you outside the UK? You seem to be expecting a sizeable formal event, but that's unlikely to happen. How does BIL feel about his wife being excluded? Not great, I would assume.

Thanks so much for your input. Apparently FIL has specifically requested and mad provision that his Will is read at a meeting with his solicitor and his executors (DH and BIL). I presume they can agree to request to have the Will sent to them then, forgoing the meeting?

The solicitor cannot keep hold of the wills unless they are coexecutors. The executors need to original will in order to do their job, ie execute the deceased’s last wishes.
No one else need sight of the will at that point, but once probate is granted the will becomes a public document.
So, in this day and age, not releasing the contents of a will that has to go through probate is a waste of time!

Apparently FIL has specifically requested and mad provision that his Will is read at a meeting with his solicitor and his executors (DH and BIL).

So why, according to your OP, would you be there ?

I've been Executrix three times. The initial meeting is just the solicitor and Executor(s). It is to go through the content of the Will and allocate tasks. Depending on complexity of the Estate, there can be a lot of work to do.

The Executors do not have to divulge the contents of the Will or let anyone have a copy. It can actually complicate things.

I always found it easier to do all the legwork first, gather everything together and have draft accounts prepared before disclosure. You then have correct figures for distribution and in theory have found all the things being bequeathed. It also makes it easier to answer questions properly.

Why would you be there? I think it would be in poor taste to go yourself if the other sil can't.

@Macmoominmamma my understanding is as previously stated legally only the executors have the legal right to read a will. However, it is not unlawful for an executor to allow a beneficiary or 3rd party to read a will.

If probate is applied for then the will becomes public, at that stage the DIL would see it anyway.

I feel sorry for your FIL, he is at the end of his life and his DIL is kicking off and making it all about her. It’s also uncaring of your DH and BIL’s feelings when they face losing their Dad. I think your DH and BIL telling him they will honour his wishes is a kind thing to do.

Would it calm the DIL if only the two executors went to the meeting and you didn’t? That way you can say it’s only the executors. You could even both go and sit outside the room.

One thing to bear in mind is your FIL may have put other things in his will that your BIL may want time to reflect on before speaking to his wife. If he has gone as far as specifying he wants a will reading your FIL could put all sorts in there which could be very hurtful. Your BIL being able read the will and talk to the solicitor before his wife sees the will may enable him to present the contents in a less contentious way.

This is all very odd, there is no will reading these days, no one does that, and why would you want to be there, the solicitor just tells them individually the contents of the will, those who have inherited, what a load of drama for nothing.

Do your family live in an Agatha Christie novel?!

Just have your husband and brother behave normally, get rhe solicitor to send them through the will and he can then speak to them on the phone. Or they can pop in together to discuss it. You don’t need to be there. It’s no big deal, and do they really not know what’s in it?

Apparently FIL has specifically requested and mad provision that his Will is read at a meeting with his solicitor and his executors (DH and BIL).

How very dramatic, and unnecessarily spiteful to presumably include you (since you’ve stated in your OP that you’ll be there) but not his other DIL.

One last bitter act of nastiness towards her from beyond the grave eh!

Completely agree. Using the last of his precious energy to dictate this is truly ridiculous.

@Macmoominmamma not usually done that way nowadays but if it is then most likely only named beneficiaries would be entitled to be there!

@Macmoominmamma arent you all jumping the gun a wee bit if the man has not even passed away yet? His will should not be opened until he has died!

They could just go to the meeting without their wives

presumably a large part of the issue is your DH trying to include you, but exclude his SIL since your fils request just mentions the executors