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My partner watches CSAM. I'm away temporarily. Now what? (trigger warning - child sexual abuse)

27 replies

Namedchangedlegaladvice · 15/11/2023 10:56

I wrote about this a couple months ago but can't access my old account anymore.
My partner was arrested over a year ago for possession of indecent images of children (I caught him and reported him). He admitted to me to watching kids as young as infants. We have a little boy together.
The police officer in charge of his case told me that they couldn't find anything incriminating on his devices and that he would probably be found innocent, and that if that was the case, he could apply for custody and get unsupervised custody of our son if I decided to leave. So I decided to stay while he was being investigated and supervise our son.
A couple of months ago we found out he was realised without further charges. I was distraught because it meant I was stuck.

A couple of weeks later I caught him on CSAM again.
This time I recorded him, I got two video confessions from him and two audio ones.
(I also have a video promise from him that he wouldn't go for unsupervised custody if he watched CSAM again, if that is worth anything at all)

I tried to go to a refuge but didn't manage to. So instead I left on holidays to my home country.
My son and I are now away from him temporarily.
What do I do now? Do I have to go back to the UK?

Thank you so much

OP posts:
Namedchangedlegaladvice · 15/11/2023 12:59

Whydoifeelsobadallthetime · 15/11/2023 12:53

Im so sorry that you are going through this, I cant even start to imagine.

Im sorry, I have lots of questions, but im hoping that maybe asking questions can help you get help.

Another question I have, is in cases where social services are involved, they can sometimes access medical records, I assume that they could potentially get into contact with whoever he was having therapy with to seek disclosure of what he was discussing as the therapy was linked to his perversions... but then that leads to a whole other set of questions, do you think that he was honest with his therapist when he did go? because I thought that they would need to disclose if there was anyone at risk because of anything that has been disclosed during session. Despite him saying that he isnt a risk, i dont think anyone is stupid enough to not think he is.

Have you contacted the officers who dealt with his previous case to see if theres anything that they can do?

Were SS involved during the investigation?

He went to group therapy organised by a charity called Lucy Faithfull so they don't really have to disclose anything as they are all there for the same things.

He made sure to use words such as "allegations" and "accusations" as in not to incriminate himself any further.

He appears to be extremely charming, social services deemed him innocent and closed the case.

I tried reaching the officer that dealt with his case but he quit working with the police.

OP posts:
AmazingSnakeHead · 15/11/2023 13:04

He says what he finds alluring is the position of authority of a parent over a child.

Jesus Christ. I think you've done the right thing. If I were you I would try to play for time while you report again. Is there any reason at all you could think to stay that could be made plausible - ill relative?

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