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Domestic abuse/ violence to me and kids.

1 reply

Catsandallthingscrazy · 23/03/2023 18:32

So I've been with this scumbag for 25 +years , we have two kids together 10 and 8y.o. He's been smacking kids since they were toddlers and ALWAYS when I wasn't around. He admits on a social media platform on a PM that he's smacked both kids in a country where is is now banned . I have previously attempted to report it to local police as its always been an issue and had varying degrees of support. Its the main reason why we are now separated as his form of " discipline" is VERY different to mine !!! Always myself and kids moved out into temporary accommodation last Monday because there was police officers on my doorstep on Saturday morning and one of the officers attending notified of Ex that I was intended in " accusing him of child abuse " . He subsequently threatened to take the kids away from me and have me declared as an unfit mother ! I knew I had to get out so called domestic abuse worker Monday morning and told her what had happened. She instructed me to contact various refuges in area. Turns out NON in local area. I then have NO option to declare myself homeless and fleeing domestic abuse and present at local council for emergency housing. All sorts now. I originate from another country but would have to apply to an SIO ( Specific Issue Order) which essentially could take up to and possibly longer than 6 months in court ! I would have to justify myself employment, house everything there before being granted permission to take myself and kids away from their abusive father. He's a cunning and manipulative so has obviously conditioned both children to " love being with their dad " and they both want to stay in this country. I am being strongly recommended to relocate to another area ASAP by domestic abuse worker, police, solictor and local GP. My head is all over the place at the moment and I'm wondering if there is any Mums on here that have progressed through an SIO and been thankful they did. I cannot foresee any other future with this scumbag other than him trying to use children as weapons Ed objects and desperately want to go back to my native land. Any thoughts or am I being selfish ??? Please be kind I realise I should of left him years ago but this has all came to the foresight since I had a bereavement in April 2020 and things have been progressively getting worse via myself and kids so I'm just trying to weigh things up in my head. Any advise much appreciated. Thanks

ImaniMumsnet · 13/05/2023 10:05

Hi OP,

We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page.

We have also moved this thread to our legal board in the hopes that you'll be able to get more responses on there.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ Flowers

Domestic Violence Support Webguide | Mumsnet

A guide to information and services related to domestic violence. Find reliable organisations and support services here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/domestic-violence

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