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Original poster

How to pay him back

167 replies

Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 10:32

I bought a house in my name 6 months ago, DP at the time gifted me the full deposit (£50,000 - inheritance money). He was unable to get a mortgage at the time so the plan was I would remortgage in 5 years with his name on when my term ends.

We have broken up, I am happy to pay him back but I don’t know how. I can afford the mortgage and bills alone but not much more. If I remortgage now at current rates I couldn’t afford it, plus taking money out would increase the mortgage. What can I do?

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 23/10/2022 10:34

Sell the house and give him his money back.

Coraline353 · 23/10/2022 10:37

Did he sign away any interest in the house when you bought it? As someone giving you a gifted deposit he should have signed something to say it was a gift and he has no claim to the house. And similarly as someone who was going to be living in it he should have signed a form to say he has no interest in the house.
Assuming you have those things in place then it's the deposit you need to raise or come up with a payment plan to repay? If not you may have bigger problems.

RNBrie · 23/10/2022 10:40

I don't think you have much choice here. Unless you can borrow £50k from someone else... you need to sell the house.

In order to pay him back and keep the house, you'd need the value of your house to go up by £50k and then remortgage to get the cash out and be able to afford the repayments of the bigger mortgage.

There is no guarantee that house prices will rise in the next 5 years, in fact most predictions are that they stagnate or fall.

If you've fixed your mortgage for 5 years you'll also have an early repayment fee and guessing but I doubt you can get your stamp duty back if you paid it.

Are you sure there is no way to rescue the relationship?!

Original poster
Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 10:43

Didn’t pay stamp duty and yes he signed it all away.

I don’t want to rescue the relationship. I don’t want to sell the house either because the mortgage is less than rent around here by a significant amount, there is no way I could afford rent long term without getting into debt.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 23/10/2022 10:47

Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 10:43

Didn’t pay stamp duty and yes he signed it all away.

I don’t want to rescue the relationship. I don’t want to sell the house either because the mortgage is less than rent around here by a significant amount, there is no way I could afford rent long term without getting into debt.

That is not his problem!!!

The fact you don't want to sell the house is neither here nor there. I don't want to go to work, but I can't afford to live without a job, therefore I work.

KnickerlessParsons · 23/10/2022 10:47

Can you take out a loan for the £50k?
If not it's either sell the house or pay him back in instalments he can afford.

KnickerlessParsons · 23/10/2022 10:48

*you can afford.

Ilikewinter · 23/10/2022 10:48

Im not sure you really have any good options here OP, but you probably already know that.
If you cant find £50k - lets face who would be able to- then you have to sell, do you know if you can port your mortgage? .

lentilly · 23/10/2022 10:49

Sell the house to release the money. Its your only option if you don't have the money

pimlicoanna · 23/10/2022 10:50

What has he said about it?

BankseyVest · 23/10/2022 10:50

Re mortgage the 50k over a longer period to keep the payments lower. As you said, if you sell up then you'll end up paying a higher rent. Tbh I'd struggle for a few years and try to keep the house whilst paying him back

lentilly · 23/10/2022 10:51

He signed it away? He gave you £50,000?? Was there any legal advice involved in this?

I mean technically I guess it's yours but that's highly immoral.

BankseyVest · 23/10/2022 10:52

Dies he want the money back or would he accept a % of the value of the house in x years time? He could use ur as an investment. Speak to a solicitor as it could be tied up legally.

lentilly · 23/10/2022 10:52

pimlicoanna · 23/10/2022 10:50

What has he said about it?

Yes what does he want? Does he want the whole £50,000 or would he accept less given he's lived there for years

MILLYmo0se · 23/10/2022 10:55

lentilly · 23/10/2022 10:52

Yes what does he want? Does he want the whole £50,000 or would he accept less given he's lived there for years

Show quote history

They lived there for 6 months havent they? Or am i misreading?
I know you dont want to sell OP but you are going to have to figure something out, could you get a loan and rent rooms out to pay that off (im not in UK so i dont know how tax etc works with renting out rooms)

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 23/10/2022 10:55

As you only bought it six months ago there won't be any equity, and presumably he's also paid half the mortgage whilst he's been there.
Unless you can get a loan, which at that amount would probably be tied to the property anyway, you will need to sell.

Putdownthecake · 23/10/2022 10:57

My other half did this with 'our' house. We are still together but if we were to split he'd have zero legal comeback to his deposit. He had to sign documents and give to the solicitor and bank that mortgage is with. That being said I think it'd be a horrible thing to do to not give it back.

Options are remortgage which doesn't sound affordable unless your home equity has grown a lot since purchase. For example we bought for 140k, house now worth 200k 2 years later. I could borrow against this if needed

Option 2 is sell

Option 3 is if it was a gift, do nothing but this would be horrible

You could ask to stay put, hope equity grows then remortgage and he gets more than just his deposit.

Dacadactyl · 23/10/2022 10:57

I do wonder what sort of financially illiterate moron he must be though? I mean, how does someone like that accrue 50k and then not protect it?!

Original poster
Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 10:58

He has said he wants it back. Legally I know he has signed it away but morally I know it’s all he has. I just don’t know what to do. Us breaking up is completely his fault, if it had been mine I would
be more willing to sell up.

I have had a look and I could probably charge a lodger £400 a month and pay him £150 myself which would add up to £33,000. In 5 years time when I remortgage will they allow me to take the rest out?

I couldn’t extend the time I have it because it’s already at 30 years.

OP posts:
lentilly · 23/10/2022 10:59

MILLYmo0se · 23/10/2022 10:55

They lived there for 6 months havent they? Or am i misreading?
I know you dont want to sell OP but you are going to have to figure something out, could you get a loan and rent rooms out to pay that off (im not in UK so i dont know how tax etc works with renting out rooms)

Show quote history

Ah yes 6 months. I'd give it all back then tbh but without interest.

TootMootZoot · 23/10/2022 11:00

How much equity do you have in the house?

If there is now one less person in the house could you rent a room out and slowly pay him back? The rent could go straight to him and you would also benefit from having someone contributing towards the bills?

Or, is there no one in your family you could borrow money from?

He was really stupid to have given you the money but I can understand why he would have. I wouldn't consider keeping it either. Has the house increased in value since you bought it?

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:00

Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 10:58

He has said he wants it back. Legally I know he has signed it away but morally I know it’s all he has. I just don’t know what to do. Us breaking up is completely his fault, if it had been mine I would
be more willing to sell up.

I have had a look and I could probably charge a lodger £400 a month and pay him £150 myself which would add up to £33,000. In 5 years time when I remortgage will they allow me to take the rest out?

I couldn’t extend the time I have it because it’s already at 30 years.

Doesn't matter who's fault it is.

He was extremely generous giving you £50,000 to buy a house. You will need to sell up and do whatever you were doing for accommodation before then.

TeaPleaseNoLemon · 23/10/2022 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Previously banned poster - This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

cestlavielife · 23/10/2022 11:01

He gave it to you and signed it away
Pay him back 50 a month or 100 but get a written agreement drawn up

He should have got legal advice and signed agreement with you that it was his

Legally it s yours
He gifted it to you

Is there anything written where you agreed to put him on mortgage and house later ?

GiltEdges · 23/10/2022 11:01

To those saying OP has “no option” but to sell the house 🙄

OP - you didn’t plan this situation. You say the break up isn’t your doing. He gifted you the deposit. He’s going to have to accept you paying him back in instalments you can afford, if you want to, and count himself lucky.