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Original poster

How to pay him back

167 replies

Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 10:32

I bought a house in my name 6 months ago, DP at the time gifted me the full deposit (£50,000 - inheritance money). He was unable to get a mortgage at the time so the plan was I would remortgage in 5 years with his name on when my term ends.

We have broken up, I am happy to pay him back but I don’t know how. I can afford the mortgage and bills alone but not much more. If I remortgage now at current rates I couldn’t afford it, plus taking money out would increase the mortgage. What can I do?

OP posts:
lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:01

Who's idea was it to give you £50,000 did you push him into it? Why couldn't he get a mortgage?

RNBrie · 23/10/2022 11:01

So you can pay him back £33k over 5 years and hope to remortgage for the other £17k then? It's probably doable but only if your house doesn't lose value. If you end up in negative equity then you might not be able to remortgage.

That said, anything could happen in 5 years. If he's willing to agree to your repayment plan then it sounds like a reasonable solution. You need to ask him.

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:02

cestlavielife · 23/10/2022 11:01

He gave it to you and signed it away
Pay him back 50 a month or 100 but get a written agreement drawn up

He should have got legal advice and signed agreement with you that it was his

Legally it s yours
He gifted it to you

Is there anything written where you agreed to put him on mortgage and house later ?

£50 a month? For £50,000?!

That's ridiculous. I'd not accept any less than £1000 if I were him. He's been so so silly giving you that much though.

EarringsandLipstick · 23/10/2022 11:03

I will never understand the utterly stupid things people do (as reported on MN, I've never seen it IRL) around housing.

If he had £50,000 (an incredible amount of savings), why couldn't he get a mortgage? If he could save that, he surely had a reasonably decent job? Could you not have got a mortgage together?

Why on earth would he give you the money so flimsily on a promise of remortgaging in 5 years?

Now that he has, yes, you need to repay.

You need to discuss what he wants, and go from there. I see that it's unlikely you will avoid selling the house.

How were you both so naive?

GiltEdges · 23/10/2022 11:03

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:02

£50 a month? For £50,000?!

That's ridiculous. I'd not accept any less than £1000 if I were him. He's been so so silly giving you that much though.

Show quote history

Legally he’s entitled to £0/month so he can “not accept” less than £1000 all he wants, it doesn’t mean he stands any chance of actually getting it.

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:04

GiltEdges · 23/10/2022 11:03

Legally he’s entitled to £0/month so he can “not accept” less than £1000 all he wants, it doesn’t mean he stands any chance of actually getting it.

Show quote history

True. I forget this is in the legal bit sorry I saw it in active.

Legally yes don't give him a penny.
Morrally do the right thing.

VanGoghsDog · 23/10/2022 11:04

Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 10:58

He has said he wants it back. Legally I know he has signed it away but morally I know it’s all he has. I just don’t know what to do. Us breaking up is completely his fault, if it had been mine I would
be more willing to sell up.

I have had a look and I could probably charge a lodger £400 a month and pay him £150 myself which would add up to £33,000. In 5 years time when I remortgage will they allow me to take the rest out?

I couldn’t extend the time I have it because it’s already at 30 years.

You do know what to do - sell the house.

This is life, this a risk you both took, this is the end result.

Sell the house, pay him back, move on.

oviraptor21 · 23/10/2022 11:04

Sounds like he was a numpty for gifting you the £50k.
Sounds like he was even more of a numpty for risking the relationship in the circumstances.
Your plan of £33k over 5 years and the remaining £17k when you come to remortgage sounds reasonable to me.

cestlavielife · 23/10/2022 11:05

Whatever you dec ide
Put in writing

he was daft enough to guft you 50k with no agreement on what would happen if you split up
Or could he say you coerced him?

Do not pay anything back without a signed agreeement

When you remortgage they will ask why you paying xx £ to him esch month

oviraptor21 · 23/10/2022 11:05

The ex inherited the £50k. It's in the OP.

VanGoghsDog · 23/10/2022 11:06

@EarringsandLipstick

It says in the OP that it was an inheritance, not saved.

Discovereads · 23/10/2022 11:06

I know your DP isn’t on the mortgage, but is he on the deeds as a joint tenant or tenant in common? Because legally this would drive whether he actually owns a share of the house.

KnickerlessParsons · 23/10/2022 11:07

I'm not in UK so i dont know how tax etc works with renting out rooms)

You can earn £6kpa (I think - definitely a good sum anyway) from letting out a room in your house without having to pay income tax on it.

Original poster
Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 11:08

Nothing was written to say about the remortgage. For various reasons he couldn’t get a mortgage and then got the inheritance. We tried together and his finances caused it to decline, so he suggested it. I even said we could go to the registry office immediately after I got the house to protect his money better.

Please bare in mind with your advice I’m at the lowest point in my life. I need actual advice from people that have knowledge in this area and not just guessing.

OP posts:
titchy · 23/10/2022 11:09

Presumably there's £50k of equity? Ask you lender for a further advance - which is another secured loan. They may give you something that you can just about afford, even though not the full amount. Worth asking. You might get £20k you never know. Then you'll have to get a lodger, or air bnb your house. Or sell it. Or get a second job.

user1494050295 · 23/10/2022 11:10

Speak to a solicitor now. They can advise. Ditto a mortgage advisor. The house is an asset so if your ex partner is willing to be paid over a longer period then try and keep the house

EarringsandLipstick · 23/10/2022 11:10

VanGoghsDog · 23/10/2022 11:06

@EarringsandLipstick

It says in the OP that it was an inheritance, not saved.

Sorry! Should have read more closely.

Selttan · 23/10/2022 11:11

Given legally he is not entitled to the money back I would offer him a payment plan like you suggested.

It's not like he needs as a deposit for another mortgage since you said he doesn't qualify for one.

Perhaps if he kicks up a big stink you could agree to pay him back interest on the money.

VanGoghsDog · 23/10/2022 11:11

Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 11:08

Nothing was written to say about the remortgage. For various reasons he couldn’t get a mortgage and then got the inheritance. We tried together and his finances caused it to decline, so he suggested it. I even said we could go to the registry office immediately after I got the house to protect his money better.

Please bare in mind with your advice I’m at the lowest point in my life. I need actual advice from people that have knowledge in this area and not just guessing.

You've had all the legal advice there is available to have.

Legally, he signed it away, you owe him nothing. Your solicitors must have told you both that?

If you feel you ought to pay it back, either sell the house or come up with a payment offer.

I do wonder if his solicitor was negligent actually. He did take his own legal advice didn't he? If not, the agreement could be void.

cestlavielife · 23/10/2022 11:12

Well you need to see a solicitor not just mumsnet
Legal position is it s his gift to you
He could go to court argue wuth some evidence ?? It is *his" but he willingly signed it away

So make an offer you can afford per month if morally you want to or you think he will take you to court
Anything you pay him
Agree in writing
Nothing gets paid on whim

CatinaStorm · 23/10/2022 11:15

Could you get a lodger or two and pay him back everything they pay you weekly? Some foreign students pay 6 months rent in advance. If you are in an area with a uni, you could appply to their accommodation office, get two foreign students in, you could pay him a few grand now and a few more in 6 months time. He must know that you can't suddenly lay your hands on 50k if it is a cost sunk into the house. As long as you give him as much as you can as soon as you can, you are being fair, I think. Unless you stayed with him until he funded your house and then engineered a split. If so, sell the house!

NotDavidTennant · 23/10/2022 11:15

I'm not sure what advice you want here. You can either sell the house, come up with some extra source of income to pay him back or tell him the money was a gift and he's not getting it back. There's no magic option where he can get the money back without your life being disrupted in some way.

Comefromaway · 23/10/2022 11:15

cestlavielife · 23/10/2022 11:01

He gave it to you and signed it away
Pay him back 50 a month or 100 but get a written agreement drawn up

He should have got legal advice and signed agreement with you that it was his

Legally it s yours
He gifted it to you

Is there anything written where you agreed to put him on mortgage and house later ?

That’s not possible with a gifted deposit as the mortgage will have been granted based on affordability and the amount of any debt.

The bank providing the mortgage will not have allowed the OP to proceed with the mortgage unless she could prove (with a Signed & witnessed Gifted Deposit Declaration) that the provider of the deposit had no hold whatsoever over the house and did not want to be paid back.

in the OP’s case I would arrange to pay him back over a period of time.

EarringsandLipstick · 23/10/2022 11:16

Please bare in mind with your advice I’m at the lowest point in my life. I need actual advice from people that have knowledge in this area and not just guessing.

I'm sorry that's the case.

You need to find out what he wants to do, then take legal & financial advice. There's no other way, and MN can't help as those details matter.

Realising now that it was an inheritance, you absolutely need to return it. I think selling is the easiest option and while painful might be best all round.

It's amazing that he received no advice to protect his £50k. I can't believe he gifted it, with no protection.

Did you not have to declare the gift & pay tax? I'm in Ireland but in the UK, I understand the threshold for gifts from non-family members is also low, about £3k per year?

CatinaStorm · 23/10/2022 11:17

You mention one lodger a month bringing in 400 pcm. If you had two, that would be 800pcm. Could you move into the smallest bedroom and rent to a couple? Or if it's a house with two receptions, turn one into your bedfroom for now and rent out all the upstairs rooms.

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