How to pay him back

[Equityhelp]

I bought a house in my name 6 months ago, DP at the time gifted me the full deposit (£50,000 - inheritance money). He was unable to get a mortgage at the time so the plan was I would remortgage in 5 years with his name on when my term ends.

We have broken up, I am happy to pay him back but I don’t know how. I can afford the mortgage and bills alone but not much more. If I remortgage now at current rates I couldn’t afford it, plus taking money out would increase the mortgage. What can I do?

He didn't have any equity, the house was repossessed after the DP lost his job and the OP kept them afloat for some time using both her savings and income.
This is why he can't get a mortgage.
The £50k was an inheritance.

Aiming at a gradual repayment sounds right in this situation. Considering rent would be higher than the mortgage should give you some wriggle room aside from lodgers.

Given what you've just added about subsidizing him out of your savings the past year I'm with your mother - yes, you should definitely take this into account when calculating any repayment.

Above all I'm with other posters- you absolutely need to handle this through legal professionals. In fact I'd be incredibly careful what you say to him right now since anything you say (especially if it's in writing) could be used against you. If he gives you problems about the delay you could always say you're getting financial advice on how to make this work.

If the money was a gift, he is not entitled to demand it back. If you nevertheless decide to give it back, you can decide the timetable and he will have to wait. He should consider it a very expensive lesson in not being an idiot.

Its a right mess and I'm sorry you are in this through no fault of your own. The only advice I'm going to give you is go to a solicitor. Paying for an hour of their time for this will be worth it. Most of the posters here can't even read your opening post properly so don't take their advice at all.

Take your time to decide, whatever path you take will impact you for years.

I'm curious why he isn't on the deeds. How long had you dated?

Realistically how much would the house sell for? Did he contribute to the moving costs or other costs such as decoration?

I can't believe how morally bankrupt all the posters are who are saying you should just keep the money. It was an inheritance and even if he didn't work for it I'm sure the person who left him the money wanted it to go to him. I'd come back and haunt the OP if she thought she could keep the money 😂😂

I also think it's really shady to think that the agreement to repay the money in 5 years should still stand. That agreement was only made in the expectation that they were still living together.

I can't see how there is any other option but to sell the house. Maybe there is a little wriggle room on the £50,000 if there are additional cost to selling the house.

The cost of renting elsewhere is irrelevant as it applies to the Ex just as much as the OP.

It's a shitty situation with no winners.

They were together eleven year, so more than than "dated".

I'd take out a loan for the £50k and then service the loan by taking a lodger.

Best to speak to a Solicitor I think .If you dont pay him back he may decide to take it to court ,and then you would be in a tight spot.They will advise the best thing to do.As it has happened so quickly ,maybe as you say a few days until Friday ,to clear your head ,get legal advice and see where to go from there.

Might be a mortgage thing - any adult over 18 living in a house being bought usually has to sign something to say they have no claim to the home.

Why the fuck did you take his money and sent him any interest in the property? Sell the house and have a clean break after you’ve paid him back. I cannot imagine a situation I’d take someone’s inheritance to buy me a property. You have been incredibly selfish.

Try to agree with him he can have his money back at the end of your 5 year mortgage. At this point you need to give him his money in full by remortgaging, from savings you have made or by selling up. (Not legally hut morally you should pay him back)

As you have a 5 year mortgage if you pay it back early there would usually be an early repayment charge.

Your ex should now concentrate on making sure he sorts his finances out so he can get a mortgage on somewhere else when he gets his money back.

It's a thirty year mortgage.

I agree. Really shifty and deceitful of the OP

Yes its a mortgage thing

So if I'm clear, he gave you 50k as a gifted deposit. He would have had to have signed the lenders / mortgage broker forms that clearly state that this is a gifted deposit and he has no financial interest in the property.

I struggle to see how legally he could take you to court to be repaid when he has signed paperwork to the contrary. That's the whole point of a gifted deposit.

It sounds like for the past 11 years you've invested into his property, and used all your savings only for the property to end up being repossessed.

OP, I'm going against the grain here but I would be in no hurry to pay this man back. I certainly wouldn't be selling the house.

Yep. Lenders know this situation happens all the time, deposits being declared as “gifted” when there’s actually an agreement between the parties for repayment by some means. The lender is purely interested in preventing a third party not named on the mortgage or deeds from claiming interest in or part ownership of the property in the event they need to repossess and evict their lendee. That’s what the declaration is for. Not to protect the OP. They’re covering their own backs. They don’t care whether the OP finds herself subject to a separate civil claim from her ex for return of the money, this doesn’t affect them.

She lived there too - he lost his job. I hope my son never meets anyone as morally bankrupt as you!

@Strictly1 she did live there, in a property she had no legal entitlement to.

By all accounts, if OP had posted six months ago saying that she'd invested all of her money into a house that she wasn't on the deeds to and this house was no about to be repossessed, everyone would be calling her a twat and telling her this was all her own fault for being unmarried, not seeking legal advice, blah, blah, blah.

I'm not saying don't pay him back. I am saying take some time to look at what is affordable and not to panic and sell the house! I certainly wouldn't be signing any payment plans either.

It sounds rather like the ex was the shifty and deceitful one in this case.

So he's financially incompetent.
I guess he's cheated.
He expected his money back in 5 years.
Legally he signed away all rights to the £50,000.
If you want to, give him £50,000 in 5 years time.

Forget about paying him bit by bit as this would demonstrate it wasn't a genuine gift.

@oviraptor21
It sounds rather like the ex was the shifty and deceitful one in this Case

How?

I think the ex initially must have been genuinely invested in the relationship otherwise he wouldn't have given the OP £50,000 with only a verbal promise from her that she would give it back. You can't twist that to make him the shifty and deceitful one. Not that I think the OP was either.

I know Mumsnetters are often men haters (TBF I'm not a huge fan myself😂). but I can't see how his behaviour could possibly be construed of as shifty or deceitful. The OP had and has All the power in this situation.

Is there any chance he could declare himself Bankrupt in the next five years? You might need to speak to an insolvency practitioner as well, to see if a Trustee could come after the 50K.

This

If this was the other way around and the op was saying she gave her £50,000 deposit away people would of went off at the man, op can you not get a loan if you can pay installments then surely you could get a big loan and pay that each month.

If she gave it away
legally same position
You give away 50k without written agreenent on hos to get it back
You are not v sensible