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Original poster

How to pay him back

167 replies

Equityhelp · 23/10/2022 10:32

I bought a house in my name 6 months ago, DP at the time gifted me the full deposit (£50,000 - inheritance money). He was unable to get a mortgage at the time so the plan was I would remortgage in 5 years with his name on when my term ends.

We have broken up, I am happy to pay him back but I don’t know how. I can afford the mortgage and bills alone but not much more. If I remortgage now at current rates I couldn’t afford it, plus taking money out would increase the mortgage. What can I do?

OP posts:
CatinaStorm · 23/10/2022 11:18

GiltEdges · 23/10/2022 11:01

To those saying OP has “no option” but to sell the house 🙄

OP - you didn’t plan this situation. You say the break up isn’t your doing. He gifted you the deposit. He’s going to have to accept you paying him back in instalments you can afford, if you want to, and count himself lucky.

He doesn't sound lucky at all! If I were him, I'd think I had been played.

Regardless of law, the OP has a moral duty to pay him back as much as she can as soon as she can.

iklboo · 23/10/2022 11:19

Can I please ask a quick hijack question?

DH & I are in the process of buying a house. The whole deposit is coming from money left to me by the sale of my parents' house, in a bank account in my name.

Do DH & I need to do or sign anything about equity or something? We'll both be on the mortgage, deeds etc.

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:20

Are there any kids involved?

Comefromaway · 23/10/2022 11:21

The tax thing is only applicable if someone dies within a certain number of years.

EarringsandLipstick · 23/10/2022 11:21

I don't think the renting option is workable.

I recognise that it appears that her partner legally gifted the money & so has no entitlement to get it back. I am still amazed that his legal advice permitted this.

However, paying it back in instalments is unfair to him - he should get it as a lump sum so that he can actively use it, not have to wait however many years until his £50k is restored.

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:21

iklboo · 23/10/2022 11:19

Can I please ask a quick hijack question?

DH & I are in the process of buying a house. The whole deposit is coming from money left to me by the sale of my parents' house, in a bank account in my name.

Do DH & I need to do or sign anything about equity or something? We'll both be on the mortgage, deeds etc.

YES! You absolutely do. Consider buying as tenants in common. Speak to the solicitor they should be asking you this anyway.

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:22

EarringsandLipstick · 23/10/2022 11:21

I don't think the renting option is workable.

I recognise that it appears that her partner legally gifted the money & so has no entitlement to get it back. I am still amazed that his legal advice permitted this.

However, paying it back in instalments is unfair to him - he should get it as a lump sum so that he can actively use it, not have to wait however many years until his £50k is restored.

Yes I think you have to work as quickly as you can to put each of you back in as close as you can to the financial position you were in before the house purchase.

ordinarilyordinary · 23/10/2022 11:22

You probably need legal advice on this one.

Comefromaway · 23/10/2022 11:24

I recognise that it appears that her partner legally gifted the money & so has no entitlement to get it back. I am still amazed that his legal advice permitted this.

he would have been given two choices.

  1. gift the money unconditionally with a signed declaration stating that.
  2. not gift the money.

there is no in between/way to protect his money in that situation due to the mortgage providers rules.

EarringsandLipstick · 23/10/2022 11:26

Comefromaway · 23/10/2022 11:21

The tax thing is only applicable if someone dies within a certain number of years.

Oh yes, forgot that part!

cestlavielife · 23/10/2022 11:26

So even more if a mess if she starts paying him back
As it means they defrauded the mortgage company ?

LoveAutumnColours · 23/10/2022 11:26

How horrible you’re in this position when clearly they intention by both sides was to have a home and the money to be repaid after 5 years. @Equityhelp you have had the floor pulled from under your. Yes, I do think if he’s at fault (must be fairly serious) that you do have some leeway morally because this current ness was not of your making. You clearly intend to pay him back as you’re here asking for advice about it. So morally, you know you’re looking to do the right thing. Question is how to do that but not to your immense detriment.

your original agreement was to repay at 5 years when you remortgage. Your idea of getting a lodger to repay him is a sound one. Do that AND when the 5 year mark is hit to remortgage, then you remortgage for the remaining balance. If your original agreement was 50k but no interest, then you stick to that too.

your ex was willing to gift you 50k. He was willing to gift it to you for 5 years. It was inherited money so in my mind this was money he didn’t earn and hadn’t saved for years towards a deposit and he was willing to gamble giving it to you without any legal protection, actually signing documentation that it was a gift.

so I’d do this repayment by way of lodger income and your own funds, keeping careful records of payments and diminishing balance. If you’re able to raise more money in future, use that to pay his balance down faster if anything do you no longer need to have anything to do with him.

iklboo · 23/10/2022 11:27

@lentilly - brilliant, thank you. We're both first time buyers. I'll definitely raise it with the solicitors & make sure everything is in place.

Dacadactyl · 23/10/2022 11:27

cestlavielife · 23/10/2022 11:26

So even more if a mess if she starts paying him back
As it means they defrauded the mortgage company ?

Well I wouldn't be worrying too much about that myself

1Wanda1 · 23/10/2022 11:28

You might want to look at the law on constructive trusts of property where one party invests in a property owned by the other party (www.rcsolicitors.co.uk/property/trusts-of-land-and-appointment-of-trustees-act/resulting-and-constructive-trusts).

He's obviously entitled to his money back. If it was the other way round, would you be happy to wait 5 years to get your £50k back?

If you can't remortgage to add £50k, you should sell the house. The relative price of rent in the area is, unfortunately, your problem.

EarringsandLipstick · 23/10/2022 11:29

How horrible you’re in this position when clearly they intention by both sides was to have a home and the money to be repaid after 5 years.

I disagree. I'm sorry OP's in a tough spot but really, what were they both thinking? In life, relationships break down.

If you are married or in a civil partnership, there are legal protections in place that will assist both parties.

When you are not married, and gift money in this way - which it's clear, wasn't really a gift, due to their 5 year plan - you are making yourself really vulnerable.

It was incredibly stupid of them both & I can only imagine they ignored the advice given to them and proceeded.

FridayNightWinner · 23/10/2022 11:30

Op, you're only going to get sound advice from a solicitor. I wouldn't put your hopes in random strangers on mumsnet. You need to get sound legal advice desperately.

Comefromaway · 23/10/2022 11:34

1wanda - this was a Gifted Deposit (which is an actual legal term solicitors and banks use) , not an investment.

America12 · 23/10/2022 11:36

Coraline353 · 23/10/2022 10:37

Did he sign away any interest in the house when you bought it? As someone giving you a gifted deposit he should have signed something to say it was a gift and he has no claim to the house. And similarly as someone who was going to be living in it he should have signed a form to say he has no interest in the house.
Assuming you have those things in place then it's the deposit you need to raise or come up with a payment plan to repay? If not you may have bigger problems.

I'm living in a house my partner bought for cash (also have my own house ). I've never signed anything.

Petronus · 23/10/2022 11:37

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:21

YES! You absolutely do. Consider buying as tenants in common. Speak to the solicitor they should be asking you this anyway.

Show quote history

Is this accurate if you are married though. Surely it’s all joint in the case of a split?

burnoutbabe · 23/10/2022 11:37

1Wanda1 · 23/10/2022 11:28

You might want to look at the law on constructive trusts of property where one party invests in a property owned by the other party (www.rcsolicitors.co.uk/property/trusts-of-land-and-appointment-of-trustees-act/resulting-and-constructive-trusts).

He's obviously entitled to his money back. If it was the other way round, would you be happy to wait 5 years to get your £50k back?

If you can't remortgage to add £50k, you should sell the house. The relative price of rent in the area is, unfortunately, your problem.

Yes there MAY be a constructive trust.a common intention that he owns x% and her the rest.

But he would have to take her to court to get that acknowledged and then she can make an offer which could be he owns x% or could be I'll repay £400 per month until done.
So the legal action would be very costly, far more than the £50k.

I'd point all this out in a letter and that you will repay him £x per month for his gift (don't acknowledge it's a loan )
I'd probably get a solicitor to draft the letter. Even if it cones from you.

If you decided to sell I'd take off 50% of selling costs and stamp duty on purchase from the 50k. Rather than you incur all the costs.

lentilly · 23/10/2022 11:37

Petronus · 23/10/2022 11:37

Is this accurate if you are married though. Surely it’s all joint in the case of a split?

Show quote history

Nope. Not if you're tenants in common.

Comefromaway · 23/10/2022 11:39

You won’t have signed anything America because he bought it for cash. There is no mortgage involved.

When we bought our current home my 18 year old daughter had to sign to say she had no claim!

America12 · 23/10/2022 11:47

If he was was happy to wait 5 years , remortgage in 5 years and pay him back. You'll need a plan eg a lodger and put the money away in case your house goes down in value.

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