Daughter’s break-up and holiday nightmare

[LockdownBride]

Hello,
My daughter was 18 in February, had been with her BF for 18 mths and they booked a holiday together for after their A-level exams in Greece.
DD paid for the trip upfront and he was going to pay her back, she had £4K child trust fund on her birthday. The holiday was £1200.
He ended it two weeks ago, right before her first exam and we are just beginning to see the light and get angry.
He has said today that if she cancels the holiday, he’ll pay half, if she’s goes with someone else, he’ll pay nothing.
I think this is unreasonable as she will have to find someone to go with, pay transfer fees for a name change all at short notice.
If she cancels, she wouldn’t get a refund.
the holiday is booked with LoveHoliday.com

Any ideas or suggestions on her rights, if any, would be great 😬

[DevilishDiva]

Can your daughter not find someone to go with her and pay their share?

[Getoffmyshoes]

I think he’s being perfectly reasonable! Why would he still pay if she’s taking someone else?!

[Ducksurprise]

I'd go with her if I couldn't find a friend that would, I'd subsidise a friend if needed. I would chalk it up to experience (get money upon booking next time) but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of dictating what happened.

[Aquamarine1029]

Your daughter's ex is being totally reasonable.

[cansu]

I am not sure why he is at fault. He has said he is willing to lose his half of the cash if it is cancelled if she finds someone else of course they need to pay their half

[jubileetrain]

He is being very reasonable.

[BobLemon]

So he’ll pay £600 if she cancels? Sounds like the best option really.

[Hercisback]

He's being reasonable. Take someone else.

[ElenaSt]

How is he being unreasonable?

[drpet49]

Boyfriend is completely reasonable here.

[LockdownBride]

It’s more that the cost will go up with a name transfer, and it’s the holiday they picked together. To find a friend who has a spare £600 + fees to go on a holiday they didn’t have a choice in, is a big ask.
she’s also not really wanting to go somewhere they’d planned on going together with someone else.
She’ll get no money back if she cancels, she’d be down £600 at least.

[ZarquonsSandals]

Seeing as she's already paid and he hasn't coughed up anything then the best solution would be for her to go for a friend who will pay their half.

[MadMadMadamMim]

He's being reasonable. If she wants to cancel the holiday then he'll refund her for his half. If she chooses to go ahead and take a friend, then quite rightly he doesn't see why he should pay for the friend's holiday.

Her choice. By the way, there is no point in getting angry. Whilst the timing might not have been ideal he's perfectly entitled to end a relationship he doesn't want to be in any longer.

[Hawkins001]

Why did they split ?

[Aquamarine1029]

@LockdownBride

It’s more that the cost will go up with a name transfer, and it’s the holiday they picked together. To find a friend who has a spare £600 + fees to go on a holiday they didn’t have a choice in, is a big ask.
she’s also not really wanting to go somewhere they’d planned on going together with someone else.
She’ll get no money back if she cancels, she’d be down £600 at least.

And that's all a damn shame, but he ended the relationship, which he had every right to do. Life doesn't always go the way we planned.

[Antarcticant]

What is it you are looking for him to do?

Would your DD consider going alone if she can't find a friend, and would the ex pay his half in those circumstances?

If your DD isn't going to take a friend I would accept the money from the ex ASAP because his inclination to pay might dwindle and as far as I can see your DD has little or no recourse to get the money back from him other than his goodwill.

[NoSquirrels]

Well, it’s a shit situation but her ex isn’t being unreasonable to offer his £600 if it’s cancelled (so they’re both £600 down due to breakup) or to pay nothing if she’s not losing out on her holiday.

I suppose your DD could ask him to go halves or thirds in the transfer fees etc but I think this is just one of those unfortunate events and I’d not advise her to push it, myself. In fact, if it were my DD I might offer to pay some to subsidise her getting a friend to come. But I’m soft.

[LockdownBride]

I totally get that, she’s also allowed to feel anger at being hurt and having plans broken and changed, as well as her heart.
He cheated on her. They’re 18, shit happens, she’ll get over it but he should pay for what he committed to and not leave her high and dry.
I think she will cut her losses, cancel and get no refund but get him to pay his half, at least then she gets something. She’s still down £600.

[ClocksGoingBackwards]

If she cancels then she’s lost the same amount as her ex, which seems fair. She’s also learned a lesson in not paying hundreds of pounds upfront for friends or boyfriends.

[Aquamarine1029]

@LockdownBride

I totally get that, she’s also allowed to feel anger at being hurt and having plans broken and changed, as well as her heart.
He cheated on her. They’re 18, shit happens, she’ll get over it but he should pay for what he committed to and not leave her high and dry.
I think she will cut her losses, cancel and get no refund but get him to pay his half, at least then she gets something. She’s still down £600.

I would be encouraging her to try to find a friend who wants to go. Why waste such a great opportunity? Could you go with her? My daughter and I took lovely holidays together.

[DelphiniumBlue]

He should have paid her half already. If he had done what he promised, he would be asking her to find someone to take his place, not telling her that he's not paying if she does find someone .
I'd be suggesting that he pays her what he said he would, and then if she does find someone to go with her, she can pay him back.
He owes her his half whatever she does with it. He's the one cancelling. Why should she go short?

[Veryverycalmnow]

His timing was shocking! Your poor daughter. I hope she finds someone else to go with.

[jubileetrain]

I think she will cut her losses, cancel and get no refund but get him to pay his half, at least then she gets something.

She gets her money back?

[Unexpecteddrivinginstructor]

I would either find a friend or maybe a couple to sell both tickets to. They might both need to take a financial hit though. Surely it would be better for him to cover some of the transfer fees than have to pay half. I would be worried that he says he will pay £600 if she cancels but then refuses so she gets no money and no holiday.

[Tithebarnacle]

@DelphiniumBlue

He should have paid her half already. If he had done what he promised, he would be asking her to find someone to take his place, not telling her that he's not paying if she does find someone .
I'd be suggesting that he pays her what he said he would, and then if she does find someone to go with her, she can pay him back.
He owes her his half whatever she does with it. He's the one cancelling. Why should she go short?

I agree with this.
Also, he's a pig doing this just before her A'levels started.