Not on rental agreement can I make him leave?

[MollysDolly]

StbExDH is refusing to leave the house.

He's been abusive long term. I tried. I can't stomach any more.

His current thing is now to boast of all the shags he'll be having, while living here because "there's nothing I can do about it" lots of sneering in my face "you going to make me leave?" etc. I'm tired of the children seeing this as their "role model".

He's not on the rental agreement. We have not yet started divorce proceedings.

Is there anything I can do? I'm not involving police, I can't prove a thing, and it will just make him act like a massive bastard (even more so) in the divorce. I'm not upset or affected by his behaviour, it's like white noise. I just want to know how to get him out.

Do you mean “ Do I have the legal right to make him leave ? “ ?

Or “ How do I physically make him leave ? “ ?

Are you legally married and what country do you live in ?

We live in the UK.

Both really. He's saying legally there's nothing I can do because even this was my rented home he moved into, he's been here 3yrs (well, two years, then moved out for 8 months, then I stupidly allowed him back) and it's my sole name on the rental agreement.

I just want to know where I stand legally. It's not pleasant having someone speak to you like dirt, then sneer "and you can't get me out because it's the marital home"

Well. We're separated. I pay the rent. And the agreement is in my sole name. Does this count for anything, or is he indeed correct, he's legally allowed to stay as long as he likes?

Married for 2.5yrs if that makes a difference.

Does the LL know he is there?

LL are my parents. Who also want him gone. But yes, know he's here.

He did a big speech in front of DM last night his usual performance of how he's a decent bloke "I'll be gone in a week, I think that's reasonable for me to pack my belongings and find somewhere to stay, I'll stay away from your daughter as much as possible for the next week, I respect her decision"

Then as soon as she left, it's back to "you think you and that old slut can get me out of here, I'm going nowhere"

Either call the police or get legal advice from a family solicitor.

No matter if he isn’t named. Married couples have the right to remain in matrimonial home even rented, and separated. Look up the matrimonial act it’s a eye opener. In theory my ex because we aren’t divorced could demand to live here.
Get divorced then he has to leave and can be removed. Sorry x

I’m not a lawyer but surely you just lock him out next time he leaves?

He can call the police but he has no legal claim to the house?

I’ve seen the reverse happen - women being ordered out of their home with their children because they aren’t on the mortgage or tenancy agreement, and the police shrugging and suggesting they find a hotel

If you're married, you can't just kick him out, sorry. I'd get your parents to evict.

This is one of those situations where marriage actually negatively affects the woman. If you weren't married you could lock him out however this will require a solicitor and divorce as it's the marital home.

Get a video doorbell so you can record activity on the doorstep. Wait til he leaves for the day, change the locks, lock him out.. If he threatens, shouts, sends abusive messages- keep the video evidence and text messages. Tell him you'll call the police and have him done for intimidation, threatening behaviour etc.

He's an abusive bully. It's going to be a rough divorce whatever you do. Appeasing him won't help.

@oldstudentmum

No matter if he isn’t named. Married couples have the right to remain in matrimonial home even rented, and separated. Look up the matrimonial act it’s a eye opener. In theory my ex because we aren’t divorced could demand to live here. Get divorced then he has to leave and can be removed. Sorry x

I think once you are legally separated that might not be the case. But it's been a long time since I studied law, and things might have changed/I might be misremembering. You need advice from someone who actually knows.. lots of family lawyers on here, hopefully someone can help. Also Shelter.

I think he's right about the matrimonial home thing. (Though I'm by no means certain.)

However, as your parents are your LL, and you the sole legal tennant, could you and they agree to end the tennancy early? You move into theirs for a week, ExH moves anyfuckingwhere - as the tennancy on the matrimonial gone is now ended. Then you move back in with a new tennancy agreement.

I do not know the legalities of this though, so probably best to check first.

@Herja

I think he's right about the matrimonial home thing. (Though I'm by no means certain.)

However, as your parents are your LL, and you the sole legal tennant, could you and they agree to end the tennancy early? You move into theirs for a week, ExH moves anyfuckingwhere - as the tennancy on the matrimonial gone is now ended. Then you move back in with a new tennancy agreement.

I do not know the legalities of this though, so probably best to check first.

If a lawyer could tell me if this is legal, this is perfect.

I suspect it isn't, but a girl can wish...

You need to look into an occupation order
england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_married_sole_homeowners/occupation_orders_for_sole_owners_and_their_married_or_civil_partners

Get your parents to start eviction of you as the Tenant. He must then leave. You can draw up a new tenancy after.

[quote beautifullight]You need to look into an occupation order
england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_married_sole_homeowners/occupation_orders_for_sole_owners_and_their_married_or_civil_partners[/quote]
My concern is both the cost and how long this will take.

Also.

I've had both the police and social services involved previously. If I go to court, they will open another child investigation, regarding him, and he'll lose his job. I need his maintenance for me and 3DC to live.

@Seeleyboo

Get your parents to start eviction of you as the Tenant. He must then leave. You can draw up a new tenancy after.

Yes. Is this legal?

Do they have to give both occupants reasonable notice, or can they pretty much ignore he's an occupant because I'm the sole lessee and can agree to terminate as I see fit?

Also, if we can do this "cancel then reinstate" thing, what stops him from claiming the same right under the same principle, as soon as I start another agreement in the same property.

If he's not on agreement 1, and has the right to stay purely by being married to the person that is, what changes between that and agreement 2?

I mean, we could change the locks, but he could then go to a locksmith, with his legal "home rights" and change them himself, if I've got any agreement in place, no?

@MollysDolly - it sounds like your parents aren’t experienced landlords so need to be very careful if they give you notice to quit.

I strongly suggest you post a question on the Residential Letting Questions section on Landlordzone. There are experts in tenancy laws who should be able to help and advise.

forums.landlordzone.co.uk/forum/residential-letting-questions

Hope this helps!

Thank you x

Nightmare. As you are married he is entitled to stay. You need a court order to get him out. You can get it as part of the divorce. Your parents may be able to evict you and get you both out,but the costs/timescales may not be any better than getting it dealt with as part of the divorce. They would need a court order to get him out even if they evict. Same thing even if you voluntarily give up the tenancy. Can you have family or friends visit every day? Your mum,sisters,aunties,,and grannies, installed at the dinner table and then on the sofa every night might encourage him to leave. You need to forge ahead with divorce.

It's so irritating. It's not my house. I'm only in it because I have a sole tenancy agreement. Yet he has the right to live in it, for free, as much as I.

Yet the people who own it can't make him leave either. And must allow him to freeload there.

Unless we all pay for the respective court applications.

Hang on, so when he moves out, and rents somewhere, I've legally got the right to live in that??

It's domestic abuse

I would contact the police and they will take you seriously, get him removed

@MrMrsJones

It's domestic abuse

I would contact the police and they will take you seriously, get him removed

Any more police evidence against him, and he will get arrested and charged.

This will result in the loss of his job. His profession kicks him out for criminal conduct. He already can't leave his current job, because another appointment would require a DBS check. And he'll fail it, for the domestic abuse logged by me and his previous partner. And maybe 6 months in prison, with what I can actually prove.

So all I achieve is a brief respite. I've then lost the next 16yrs of significant child maintenance, which we desperately need. Plus, him on the loose again in no time at all, for revenge. He can't bear to be exposed for what he is, so after a public sacking, he'd destroy me. And I don't say that lightly. So yet again, if he is made to face the rightful consequences of what he's done, it will be me and the children who suffer hugely.

It makes me sick that he's sat around like lady muck, calling the DC names, in a house he has no rental contract, nor pays for, and loving it.