House in will - issues/second marriage

[needadvice54321]

Hi all

This is an awkward issue that we have and I wondered if anyone knew where DH stands with it. We have no idea, so prepared to be told we're unreasonable.

DH recently sadly lost his Dad. In his will both DH and his brother inherit the house.

DH's mum died 20 years ago. The house is the family home. My father in law married again several years later and he and his wife (my MIL) lived together in the house.

As part of the will, FIL stated he wanted his wife to be allowed to stay living in the house for up to 2 years post his death - absolutely reasonable.

Now here's the awkwardness - obviously now that FIL has passed, the house belongs to DH and his brother. MIL obviously isn't paying any "rent" to live there ( DH wouldn't want to charge her rent) but here's the issue - in the event that there's a problem with the house, who should be sorting it? ie paying? If it's DH and his brother, is it reasonable to request that nothing is done without their agreement?

This week there has been an issue. MIL immediately dealt with it (it could have waited for DH - wasn't urgent), arranged someone to fix it and is now handing the bill to DH and his brother.

DH is unhappy, he feels the arrangement should be that MIL is more than welcome to stay obviously, but she does at her own cost.

FIL left money to her that she has access to now - it was any money in joint accounts. DH and his brother have no access to FIL estate until MIL moves out and they sell up. MIL also has an income and a generous pension, so we don't feel she's being left high and dry.

What do we do? Pay for this? Make an agreement? Or are we obliged to sort this? Do we just suck it up?

@Soontobe60

If BIL is planning on buying our your DH, surely he could do that now? The house does legally belong to them both now, it just has a sitting tenant.

He wouldn't have the money to do that until the house sells, but I suppose he could look at a loan to do it? TBH I have no idea really, it's still early days - solicitor has been pretty useless and everything is taking ages- so we're still trying to get our head around everything

Poor woman’s husband has just died. Her home now belongs to someone else. There is a lack of clarity about bills etc.

I’d have thought a conversation would be the starting point. I’d have thought comments like ‘rent free’ suggest you are driven by pound signs so might be better staying out of the situation.

Reasonably, I’d have thought minor internal things she dealt with - broken shower, frayed carpet etc. Things that impact on the fabric of the house should be the new owners responsibility. They will be the ones benefitting from good maintenance.

Personally I think a two year limit is quite unkind of her late husband unless she was only recently married. I’d be suggesting she challenge that as insufficient provision.

@LemonRoses

Poor woman’s husband has just died. Her home now belongs to someone else. There is a lack of clarity about bills etc.

I’d have thought a conversation would be the starting point. I’d have thought comments like ‘rent free’ suggest you are driven by pound signs so might be better staying out of the situation.

Reasonably, I’d have thought minor internal things she dealt with - broken shower, frayed carpet etc. Things that impact on the fabric of the house should be the new owners responsibility. They will be the ones benefitting from good maintenance.

Personally I think a two year limit is quite unkind of her late husband unless she was only recently married. I’d be suggesting she challenge that as insufficient provision.

@LemonRoses , was the pound signs aimed at me? I hope not. We have tried to help MIL as much as possible, even when she's pushed us away. We've never been close to her - she came into DH's life when he was in his early 30's so she's never played a mother role to him, but he wouldn't see anything wrong by her - we're not that type of people. However, we don't have free cash to suddenly be able to throw at a second home, that's the way it is - we can't magic up money (I didn't know we could look at a bridging loan) . This is very new to us, FIL only died recently, but we're already coming across hurdles with regards to the house. Naively, we assumed MIL would continue living in the house and would sort everything. She would want everything at a high level - and this is one of the reasons for posting. In the past MIL/FIL would have just jumped straight into getting someone to fix a problem, often going over the top with the fixing too, we just can't afford to do that. We can't afford to have MIL just crack on and then hand over the bill. That was my point of posting - how do we deal with someone who we're not close to, who we don't want to upset, who quite rightly has a right to stay in the house, but also needs to understand she may not be able to get everything fixed in the same way she's been able to in the past?

This thread has been really useful, we've got a bloody useless solicitor and we haven't been in this situation before so we just have no idea what to do and what to expect.

With regards to FIL only allowing MIL to stay for 2 years, I don't know. There's no way he would have left her short so I feel it's likely they discussed this. She owns her own property and has significant savings (she's very open about her wealth) so I guess FIL knew she would be fine as she would move into her own property in time. The house is DH's childhood home, the majority of the wealth in the house stems from DH's late mother's family (inheritance) and I feel FIL always wanted to ensure that DH/BIL would inherit the house sooner rather than later. However in honesty I don't really know what FIL thought, but I do know MIL is a very independent woman, they would have discussed how to deal with this.

That rather changes it if she has her own home. I still think an adult conversation is the way forward. Getting agreement about who deals with what.

It does sound like she wants it both ways and you need to start nipping it in the bud. Why would you pay the council tax? I wouldn't be paying her gas, electricity, water etc, she would have to pay them wherever she lives. Direct her to the joint account she inherited for them

If things "need" doing e.g. water leak then fair enough you sort it. But if she "wants" something doing e.g. the bathroom painting then she needs to do it herself or she pays someone

She’s not done that badly, she has 2 years grace and has her own property to move to. Which in the meantime she’s getting rent for and is mortgage free

She owns her own property, so moving elsewhere isn't an issue - although she'd then lose rent money from her own place obviously

She owns another, separate house? That makes a huge difference and I think quite a few posters haven't clocked this.

As a minimum I would now say to her that she should agree it with the sons before booking any work to be done on the house, otherwise it will be down to her to pay for it. She booked this recent thing, it's her they'll chase for the money.

@skiptheheartsandflowers exactly, she’s hardly homeless

I really do feel for you OP. I think you need to be very straight with her, and kind and polite, but make it clear that she is responsible for bills, just as anyone who lives somewhere is, and that neither DH or his brother have spare cash for expensive repairs. So if she feels like something needs repairing, please let the brothers know, rather than taking any action. In an email too, so there is a record of it.

When there is a year to go of her living in the house, I would gently remind her of this and ask when / if she has given tenants notice, as you have plans for the house.

I also echo what a pp said about the two brothers being on the same page with the house going forward. Hopefully they are both home-owners. If not the brother might move in and it would be very difficult and stressful to get him out (bitter experience here!) Selling is the fairest option, but if they can agree a market-rate price no reason not for one to buy the other out.

The person your DH should be contacting without delay is your solicitor. Don't wait till he has the next chat. It needs to happen now to get this sorted out. It is obviously and understandably a great worry for you. I'd say there is no obligation on you whatsoever to have work done to the house to her exacting standards. If she owns another house then she wont be homeless when she eventually moves out. Why doesn't she sell her other house and purchase this house from your DH and his brother. Would that be a solution if she agreed.

You need to be sure that she is paying buildings and contents insurance.

@Charley50

I really do feel for you OP. I think you need to be very straight with her, and kind and polite, but make it clear that she is responsible for bills, just as anyone who lives somewhere is, and that neither DH or his brother have spare cash for expensive repairs. So if she feels like something needs repairing, please let the brothers know, rather than taking any action. In an email too, so there is a record of it.

When there is a year to go of her living in the house, I would gently remind her of this and ask when / if she has given tenants notice, as you have plans for the house.

I also echo what a pp said about the two brothers being on the same page with the house going forward. Hopefully they are both home-owners. If not the brother might move in and it would be very difficult and stressful to get him out (bitter experience here!) Selling is the fairest option, but if they can agree a market-rate price no reason not for one to buy the other out.

Thanks @Charley50

Thankfully DH and his brother are close, they straight away worked together to try and get things in position. It's just been tough with the dynamic of a effectively blended family with DH/BIL on one side and MIL and her daughter on the other. We've all tried to work together, but it's tricky as everyone has a different end outcome IYSWIM. It's a shame really, but we always knew when we lost FIL that things would become tricky. He died relatively quickly after a short illness too, so trying to deal with the upset of that on top of everything else is hard. MIL has lost her husband, and we're all trying to support her the best we can with that, but DH and BIL have now lost both of their parents so trying to deal with that too. Horrible situation all round

@Soontobe60

If BIL is planning on buying our your DH, surely he could do that now? The house does legally belong to them both now, it just has a sitting tenant.

Do be cautious about doing this. The market value of the house will be considerably less with a sitting tenant, BIL would not be expected to pay the full price, so your DH would lose out on a considerable amount of his inheritance. I would recommend you find different solicitors to the ones acting on behalf of the estate.