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Original poster

House in will - issues/second marriage

137 replies

needadvice54321 · 18/03/2021 16:21

Hi all

This is an awkward issue that we have and I wondered if anyone knew where DH stands with it. We have no idea, so prepared to be told we're unreasonable.

DH recently sadly lost his Dad. In his will both DH and his brother inherit the house.

DH's mum died 20 years ago. The house is the family home. My father in law married again several years later and he and his wife (my MIL) lived together in the house.

As part of the will, FIL stated he wanted his wife to be allowed to stay living in the house for up to 2 years post his death - absolutely reasonable.

Now here's the awkwardness - obviously now that FIL has passed, the house belongs to DH and his brother. MIL obviously isn't paying any "rent" to live there ( DH wouldn't want to charge her rent) but here's the issue - in the event that there's a problem with the house, who should be sorting it? ie paying? If it's DH and his brother, is it reasonable to request that nothing is done without their agreement?

This week there has been an issue. MIL immediately dealt with it (it could have waited for DH - wasn't urgent), arranged someone to fix it and is now handing the bill to DH and his brother.

DH is unhappy, he feels the arrangement should be that MIL is more than welcome to stay obviously, but she does at her own cost.

FIL left money to her that she has access to now - it was any money in joint accounts. DH and his brother have no access to FIL estate until MIL moves out and they sell up. MIL also has an income and a generous pension, so we don't feel she's being left high and dry.

What do we do? Pay for this? Make an agreement? Or are we obliged to sort this? Do we just suck it up?

OP posts:
Original poster
needadvice54321 · 18/03/2021 17:23

@ComtesseDeSpair , we've tried looking after her as much as possible (more so than her own daughter- that's another story!) but we just can't afford to be financially looking after another house that we can't rent out or sell. Whilst FIL wouldn't have wanted his wife being pushed out, I'd be staggered if he would have wanted his sons and grandchildren to be having to struggle to care for a house either. We feel he left his wife a fair chunk of money with the plan she lives there as normal - we're talking several thousand.
What are we meant to do if we can't afford the upkeep of the house on top of our own? In the long run we could get in that position, so it feels we need a plan now.

OP posts:
MummytoCSJH · 18/03/2021 17:25

How is it disrespectful to expect someone to pay something towards the property they do not own and are living in for free, and why should she pay towards repairs? Err, because she wants to continue living there with things that work presumably? I agree with other posters, either she pays rent and is not responsible for other costs like every tenant or she lives there for free but pays for the upkeep herself. Not everyone can afford to run a second house!

AmyFl · 18/03/2021 17:26

She sounds quite cheeky!

Original poster
needadvice54321 · 18/03/2021 17:26

@Bluntness100

What would his father have wanted?

This squabbling is awful. The woman has lost her husband, she’s their step mother. She’s about to loose her home and they are going to hugely benefit.

Would his father have wanted this? Or would he have wanted his sons to maintain the home when his wife lived in it, treat her with some respect and then sell it and take their money after two years.

@Bluntness100 , there is no squabbling, nothing has been said. We have no wish to upset her or fall out with her - she's hard work but we wouldn't want to see her upset. However we need a plan, we don't have a bottomless pit of money, whatever FIL's wishes were, it just isn't possible for either family to take on the cost of another house
OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 18/03/2021 17:29

Ok if you can’t afford it between you all then I think that’s different. You need to explain to her how tight money is and that between you you can’t afford any repairs.

You also have to expect her not to be doing anything that emergency small repairs and anything big you guys need to do. As said, if it’s the roof, or the boiler, or whatever you can’t expect her to stump up thousands to repair it,

LIamaDelRey · 18/03/2021 17:29

Good luck with evicting her two years from now Shamrock

Outbutnotoutout · 18/03/2021 17:29

How long were they married?

I would say all maintenance and bills are hers to pay, hence him leaving her money.

If she doesn't want to pay it they she can move out, her choice

LionLily · 18/03/2021 17:32

I think if it is something to do with the structure, systems or fitments of the house (plumbing pipes, boiler, roof tile missing, electrical wiring, built in oven), something that would be expected to be included in a future sale, then fair enough, the owners should foot the bill.
But something decorative, or a movable appliance such as washing machine that she could reasonably take with her, then no she should pay.

Bluntness100 · 18/03/2021 17:34

@Outbutnotoutout

How long were they married?

I would say all maintenance and bills are hers to pay, hence him leaving her money.

If she doesn't want to pay it they she can move out, her choice

That’s not quite right and quite frankly a horrible way to treat a family member, never mind one who is bereaved and loosing her home.

She can choose to continue to live there. And leave any repairs undone. No one gets to give her an ultimatum. The inheritors don’t have the right to do that, or to threaten her in some way or try to charge her right.

I strongly suspect if it came to court the inheritors would be told to repair their own bloody property.

It’s a shame the father didn’t address this, and didn’t realise his children were too skint to manage the house, but if she has the money then she needs to pay any minor repairs to ensure it remains habitable for her. Anything else is for the inheritors to deal with when she leaves. Or sell it as is.

yearinyearout · 18/03/2021 17:35

She can't have it both ways, she either lives there and pays the bills or she moves out. Or she stays, pays them rent and they keep that to one side to pay for any unexpected bills.

Charley50 · 18/03/2021 17:36

@LIamaDelRey

Good luck with evicting her two years from now Shamrock

Having been through similar, but with a sibling, that was my first thought.

bluebluezoo · 18/03/2021 17:38

but the first they heard was when she'd got someone in to sort it and was handing them the bill as in her opinion it's not hers to sort out

But she did sort it out though, just not paying..

So either it is hers to sort out, in which case she arranges and pays, or it isn’t. In which case she rings DH/bro and they arrange and pay.

Her choice.

Original poster
needadvice54321 · 18/03/2021 17:42

@LIamaDelRey

Good luck with evicting her two years from now Shamrock
I think she will move out when the time comes, and I'm not sure she'll stay the full 2 years either. She owns her own property, so moving elsewhere isn't an issue - although she'd then lose rent money from her own place obviously
OP posts:
BluebellsareBlue · 18/03/2021 17:43

I haven't RTFT so this may already have been mentioned, my darling mum passed away almost 4 years ago, she left the house (which was her childhood home and left to her by my GF) solely to me but my DF has a life rent. The mortgage on this house was paid off in the very early 80's so he doesn't pay a mortgage or rent but I had to have the difficult conversation that he had to foot all the bills. The boiler breaks, he pays for it and any other running repairs.

I don't know how different our circs are but I'm a single mum with a mortgage although my DS (17) left on Sunday to join the junior soldiers college at Harrogate. My darling mum also left me her business, a hairdressers, so that's been fun this last 12 months, but all monies, pensions etc that mum had went to dad.

He did kind of say at the start "you'll have to help me with bills, mum always paid them" but I got my aunt on side to help with those conversations, at that time he was still working (managerial) part time and earning more than I do in a full time role.

Original poster
needadvice54321 · 18/03/2021 17:43

@Outbutnotoutout

How long were they married?

I would say all maintenance and bills are hers to pay, hence him leaving her money.

If she doesn't want to pay it they she can move out, her choice

Married for 15 years
OP posts:
BadFoot1 · 18/03/2021 17:45

She's probably also feeling she can't afford the upkeep of a house which isn't hers when she needs to fund a new house.

You say he left her several thousand pounds rather than tens of or hundreds of thousands of pounds. So while that may be a decent deposit she may well still need a mortgage, which might be tricky depending on her age.

But I think she definitely needs to discuss stuff in future rather than just presenting a bill after the work has been done.

Mumblechum0 · 18/03/2021 17:46

It's very strange that the right to reside clause doesn't specify who is responsible for upkeep.

I'm a will writer and it may be helpful to see the standard precedent I use in these cases; if there's an argument, it may be that the standard clause will be held to prevail:

IF [name] shall be residing at [address] (“the Property”) at my death my Trustees shall allow him/her the period of two years from the date of my death in which to find alternative accommodation and during such period he/she shall be entitled to reside at the Property rent free BUT he/she shall pay all taxes (if any) and other outgoings payable in respect of the Property and shall observe all covenants and conditions affecting the Property and shall indemnify my Trustees and my estate therefrom and shall keep the Property in good repair and insured to the satisfaction of my Trustees

Hope that helps!

Original poster
needadvice54321 · 18/03/2021 17:48

@Mumblechum0 , we find it absolutely bizarre that there's just no detail. Simply says his brothers inherit and his wife has a right to live there for 2 years. Nothing about who pays anything!

OP posts:
Original poster
needadvice54321 · 18/03/2021 17:53

@BadFoot1

She's probably also feeling she can't afford the upkeep of a house which isn't hers when she needs to fund a new house.

You say he left her several thousand pounds rather than tens of or hundreds of thousands of pounds. So while that may be a decent deposit she may well still need a mortgage, which might be tricky depending on her age.

But I think she definitely needs to discuss stuff in future rather than just presenting a bill after the work has been done.

There's no deposit needed or mortgage, she owns her own property. She will obviously lose the rent that she currently gains from her property though which we are aware of. There is other property which belonged to FIL which will be sold when we're able to - she gets a cut in this too, albeit a very small proportion. We just can't access anything currently, if we could we wouldn't have such an issue.
OP posts:
Original poster
needadvice54321 · 18/03/2021 17:56

@bluebluezoo

but the first they heard was when she'd got someone in to sort it and was handing them the bill as in her opinion it's not hers to sort out

But she did sort it out though, just not paying..

So either it is hers to sort out, in which case she arranges and pays, or it isn’t. In which case she rings DH/bro and they arrange and pay.

Her choice.

Exactly, she just isn't thinking and it's frustrating. She arranged something in a panic (which is fair enough to a certain extent) but really we feel she needs to let DH and his brother make the arrangements: they wouldn't have left her in trouble, it was an easily dealable issue
OP posts:
GeorgiaGirl52 · 18/03/2021 18:04

@ComtesseDeSpair

I think it would be quite shitty of them to start trying to charge her rent when it was clearly their dead father’s wish that his widow was given two years to get on her feet and he no doubt told her that he knew his sons would be good to her. He could have given her a life interest in the property and his sons not benefit from their inheritance for potentially decades, the least they can do is respect what he wanted to happen.

They should maintain their asset in terms of necessary repairs and maintenance. It’s to their benefit to do so. There’s no indication that MIL is going to start requesting new carpets and kitchens and bathrooms at their expense, so they can cross that bridge if they ever actually come to it (and say no.) She’s had a repair done, probably not wanting to bother your DH who is grieving for his father. Seems fair enough. Council tax and bills are her responsibility. They don’t need to engage on that.

This^
Berthatydfil · 18/03/2021 18:04

There are costs she would need to pay wherever she lived such as utilities and council tax, I would also say she needs to pay for contents insurance and white goods and interior decor.
Buildings insurance and structural repairs and maintenance are your dh and bro’s responsibility.
If you say she has her own house she is getting a rental income from then she can’t argue she’s unaware of landlord responsibilities so I think she is trying it on.

AmyFl · 18/03/2021 18:14

Since she owns her own house elsewhere, she definitely needs to pay the repairs on the house she's living in.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 18/03/2021 18:14

It's strange that the will doesn't state the costs arrangements. My will will leave my house (bought pre marriage) to my children, but DH has a right to live there rent free. On advice of a solicitor the ongoing costs are for DH to foot for as long as he is resident.

ArtfulScreamer · 18/03/2021 18:16

I agree with above poster she pays bills, decor, home improvements your DH and his bro take responsibility for repairs and maintenance but they have to be told and authorise tradesmen before she goes ahead and deals.

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