House in will - issues/second marriage

[needadvice54321]

Hi all

This is an awkward issue that we have and I wondered if anyone knew where DH stands with it. We have no idea, so prepared to be told we're unreasonable.

DH recently sadly lost his Dad. In his will both DH and his brother inherit the house.

DH's mum died 20 years ago. The house is the family home. My father in law married again several years later and he and his wife (my MIL) lived together in the house.

As part of the will, FIL stated he wanted his wife to be allowed to stay living in the house for up to 2 years post his death - absolutely reasonable.

Now here's the awkwardness - obviously now that FIL has passed, the house belongs to DH and his brother. MIL obviously isn't paying any "rent" to live there ( DH wouldn't want to charge her rent) but here's the issue - in the event that there's a problem with the house, who should be sorting it? ie paying? If it's DH and his brother, is it reasonable to request that nothing is done without their agreement?

This week there has been an issue. MIL immediately dealt with it (it could have waited for DH - wasn't urgent), arranged someone to fix it and is now handing the bill to DH and his brother.

DH is unhappy, he feels the arrangement should be that MIL is more than welcome to stay obviously, but she does at her own cost.

FIL left money to her that she has access to now - it was any money in joint accounts. DH and his brother have no access to FIL estate until MIL moves out and they sell up. MIL also has an income and a generous pension, so we don't feel she's being left high and dry.

What do we do? Pay for this? Make an agreement? Or are we obliged to sort this? Do we just suck it up?

My sf lives in my house since dm died over 10 years ago, he will live there until he dies ( or needs to go into a home). He pays no rent but pays and organises all repairs. As your situation is only for 2 years, I wouldn't expect her to do big repairs - new boiler for example- but small ones yes and pay for her own bills

Was she aware before he sadly died that she could live in the house for only 2 years. It sounds a very random time.

I do wish people would think about what they write in wills to stop all these angst for the people who are left.

So can you put the house on the market in 2 years as it could take some time to sell. What if she refuses to move or makes it difficult to show people around.

Wills always seem to be about money and money makes people do some very odd things

Unless the home is currently in poor condition I'm not sure how much maintenance and repair work would be needed in a two year period? We've gone five years without a tradesman over the threshold.

I agree with @Bluntness100. Two years is not very long. I think DH and his brother should pay for the upkeep of the property. Charging MIL rent doesn't seem to be respecting the spirit of FIL's will.

However, if they're paying it, then I think they need to agree on any work in advance. She can't just do what she wants and send them the bill.

@Moirarose2021

My sf lives in my house since dm died over 10 years ago, he will live there until he dies ( or needs to go into a home). He pays no rent but pays and organises all repairs. As your situation is only for 2 years, I wouldn't expect her to do big repairs - new boiler for example- but small ones yes and pay for her own bills

But what happens if we can't afford to pay for that boiler? Then what happens? We've gained a house that we can't afford to look after.

I'm guessing here, but I don't suppose we can take any bills from the estate? So the solicitor pays for repairs then it's taken out of the money from the eventual estate? I'm guessing that's not a thing!

@MorrisZapp

Unless the home is currently in poor condition I'm not sure how much maintenance and repair work would be needed in a two year period? We've gone five years without a tradesman over the threshold.

I'd be hopeful nothing is going to happen, the house has been well looked after. However we are very anxious that we could suddenly have a problem and be expected to magic up the money for it, whilst also supporting our own home/children

If she arranges a trade to come out and fix something then surely she has made the contract with them. I think you are over worrying what will go wrong in under 2 years in an occupied well looked after house

@Moonstone1234

Was she aware before he sadly died that she could live in the house for only 2 years. It sounds a very random time.

I do wish people would think about what they write in wills to stop all these angst for the people who are left.

So can you put the house on the market in 2 years as it could take some time to sell. What if she refuses to move or makes it difficult to show people around.

Wills always seem to be about money and money makes people do some very odd things

I really wish the will had more detail in it, to be clear what was expected. Yes we were very naive to expect MIL to continue living in there as she had been with FIL, we hadn't thought that in theory DH had become her landlord and was now accountable- we would have made more provisions (saved etc) for the "just in case" situations

Id be more worried about the difficulty of getting her to move at the end of the two years. If you don't accept rent then I would say she couldn't force you to make any repairs even essential ones.

I think you need to sit down with her and explain the situation. My gut feeling is that if she's living there rent free then she should be paying these minor maintenance bills. Especially if this was something that the boys could have fixed easily themselves. Regarding council tax, gas electric etc, these should always be her responsibility to pay.

If your DH and BIL are struggling to afford to pay maintenance on the house because they're asset rich but cash poor until it's sold, then they need to have a conversation with her about that. What is her financial situation, I know you say a few thousand, but what do you mean by that. £5k, £50k, £500k? Has she really got plenty to live in the house and pay the bills then find another place to live? Only you know the answer to that. How big is the house, how much money has she got in her own right, does she spend money like water or is she good with it? All are factors in working out what the best way forward is. If she can't afford to live in the house on her own paid for out of her own money then maybe downsizing now might be the best thing even if it's not what her late husband wanted for her.

I hope you can talk to her and have a sensible grown up conversation about all this.

You need to talk to the solicitor - it's really really important that you don't end up coming up with some private arrangement with MIL that inadvertently puts you in an official 'landlord' position where you're legally required to have things like gas safe certificate, EPC and god knows what else - because not having those things when you have to has the potential to cost you big time. You really need to know the implications of you vs her paying for things.

Very obviously it's your DH/BIL's responsibility to pay for the maintenance and upkeep of the property that they own. Not his DF's wife's, since its not her property. That said, since its their responsibility, it is also their decision as to what level they upkeep it to (apart from keeping it to a safe and liveable standard), and their decision as to how that is done. DF's wife can't just engage contractors and then hand over the bill. She needs to raise any maintenance issues with your DH/BIL, and it is up to them what is a priority and if/how they arrange for it to be done.

If the heating isn't working, or there is a leak coming through the ceiling or an essential repair needed, obviously your DH/BIL need to pay for that. (I think they'd be on dodgy legal grounds and liable to be sued if they put DF's wife in danger by a failure to maintain the property). But if it is non essential (e.g. routine redecoration/upgrade of a working system etc) then your DH/BIL would be within their rights to choose not to do those works.

Of course DF's wife needs to pay for her own living costs - Council Tax, utility bills etc.

I think my principal concern would be MIL's departure date, tbh.

As you say, the house is currently a financial drain on you - once she's out & it's sold, it converts into an asset. To be blunt about it.

So I'd be sucking up the odd tradesman bill if I had to (albeit at least trying to have a chat about calling one of her DSSs first to see if they could sort minor issues/agree a budget).

But the truly difficult conversation would be the 'not to hassle you, MIL, but have you got your ducks in a row for X agreed moving date?' one!

If her own property is tenanted, has she made arrangements to end the tenancy? Is the property in good repair so she can simply move in?

If the tenants are tricky/have trashed the place/she doesn't want to live there, what's her plan B? Can she rent?

Is she likely to wring her hands & drag it all out if there are problems?

I ask because a family member inherited the family home with a resident SF, with whom she was on distant but amiable terms. Five years later when he'd overstayed the agreement in her DM's will by two years, & had to be removed by eviction along with his new partner, various of both his & his new dp's adult dc & several large dogs...things were no longer amiable. Nor was the house how she'd have hoped to find it.

So I'd advise being quite dispassionate about timelines etc. Obviously you want to respect FIL's wishes & also be fair to this lady, but you are also going to be very relieved when the two years are up & she moves on, right? So I'd be making sure everyone's expectations are on the same page there, & frankly getting it as a written agreement with the solicitor involved.

Sorry if that sounds cold! But maybe better to be clear & avoid misery & hurt all round later...?

I'm guessing here, but I don't suppose we can take any bills from the estate? So the solicitor pays for repairs then it's taken out of the money from the eventual estate? I'm guessing that's not a thing!

If there is enough money in the estate and all benefactors agree then yes this is a thing. You can make that arrangement. Clearly not to take it from your mother in laws share, but from the home owners share of the estate.

As said, ask the solicitor but the legal position if the will is silent and the house is not in trust, will likely be the owners are liable for all repair costs, she gets to live there rent free as per the will terms.

If there’s not enough money in the estate to pay for any repairs and you have legal ownership, and something big goes, you can likely borrow against the value of the property until it’s sold.

Sorry I would add, you can’t ask the solicitor to pay for the repairs up front snd take it from thr sale of the house, as in use their money, but if there is enough cash left over and above yes, it can be used for repairs. We did this with my grandmothers property.

If any repairs are due to mil damaging the property, she’s liable. But wear and tear is the owners.

Sell the house now 🌺

Thanks everyone, really appreciate you taking the time to reply to me. Lots to think about.

I can't remember who asked about money, sorry, but there's plenty - tens of thousands, not only her own but also left behind in the joint accounts they owned. She also has an income (rent, pensions etc) that equals as much as our family income - except ours feeds 4 people, pays for a mortgage etc. She's done well, and well done to her for it, but I'll be lying if I didn't say it grates a little that we need to be aware of extra costs for the next couple of years whilst we look after the property, alongside just sorting out our own house. I appreciate that eventually the house money will be ours, but until then anything else will come out of our family funds.

I still go back to the total disbelief that this is the way it is. Some people must get absolutely stuck in this position. I understand FIL had his wish, and absolutely it will be honoured - no doubt about that, but for the next couple of years we just don't know what will be around the corner.

No one would get stuck op, unless the house is worth less than the repairs, then I think you can decline the inheritance.

Past that if there’s money in it then repairing and maintaining yout own property is the norm. If there’s plenty of money in the accounts then yes as long as you don’t touch anyone else’s share you can use those funds, the bills just get sent to the solicitor to pay.

Shove a couple of paying lodgers in there.... Mil can like it or pay her way.

@Easterbunnygettingready

Shove a couple of paying lodgers in there.... Mil can like it or pay her way.

Ha as tempting as that is, I wouldn't subject the poor lodgers to that!

I think it's going to be fine, just horrible having to deal with all of this not long after losing FIL

I think you need to have a gentle chat with her explaining that you’re sorry but you just can’t afford maintenance costs on the house at this time. Ask her to contact you if anything needs doing and you will work out the best / most affordable solution.

But what happens if we can't afford to pay for that boiler? Then what happens? We've gained a house that we can't afford to look after.

That's what bridging loans are for. In a similar circumstance, where a house we inherited had what amounted to a sitting tenant, I got a bridging loan from the bank that paid for an essential and unfortunately very expensive issue that arose. It also would have been an option to get a small mortgage on it, though the bridging loan suited my purposes better as the money was released much more quickly.

You need to get in your mind that the house is an asset that your DH and his brother own. It has value as an asset now, despite MIL living there, and is likely to be viewed as capital on which they can secure a loan. Keeping it well maintained, as well as having as peaceful a relationship as possible with MIL, is in their best interest. (I hope your husband and BIL have bought house insurance.)

You haven't said what the work is that MIL organised. If it were to do with gas or electrics I wouldn't blame her at all for immediately getting out a qualified professional. If it was a leaky tap or squeaky floorboard then of course it's not urgent nor skilled and she should consult the property owners. The difficulty is communicating this to a woman who is used to independence, without putting her back up, leading to a highly stressful 2 years. The estate agent involved with my inherited property told me about another client whose elderly relative over exaggerated every problem in the property so that they'd have to pay to send someone out. So an electrician because he reported an electric shock from a light fitting, when he actually just wanted the bulb changed. When they stared refusing to send out workmen, he'd flood the bathroom. He then refused to move out, causing sale after sale to fall through. It made me prioritise bending over backwards to keep the peace.

I would probably blame a technicality for wanting to sign off on jobs first. Such as, DH or BIL saying that under the house insurance some issues can be claimed for (true) but only if you report them first. So to please let them know as soon as any issue crops up, and they'll revert immediately after speaking to insurer. They can then go themselves when it isn't a job that needs a CORGI registered gas engineer, or whatever.

MIL sounds hard as nails, a lawyers letter might be firmer communication. The house isn't yours for 2 years OP, think about that.

@WisnaeMe

MIL sounds hard as nails, a lawyers letter might be firmer communication. The house isn't yours for 2 years OP, think about that.

Oh she's a real though cookie, as is her daughter. Very independent etc

I posted about a situation a couple of months ago - before we lost FIL - about potentially paying for a care home. She was very clear that everything else had to be used for funds before anything she was due to inherit could be touched. I don't blame her, she's protecting her own interests, but she knows what she wants in life.

To be charitable, OP, I know (and was surprised to learn) that my own parents, who I think are quite comfortable, are concerned about what will happen when one of them dies. Its basically losing half your income while maintaining the same running costs, in terms of pensions suddenly stopping.

She is probably thinking, my household income is gone, I'm about to lose all my rental income, I have to adjust and plan and figure out how to live with less money. I imagine from that mindset, the idea of putting any money into a house she saw as a home but now sees as an asset for her stepsons might seem galling. It doesn't mean she's right, but I can see the perspective.

I wouldn't panic: as others have said, assuming the plan is to sell the house and split the proceeds, you should be able to arrange a bridging loan if needed. I think it might be good to have a quick chat that says: we were surprised to get that bill, you know if the taps leak again (or whatever) you can always call us, we thought it might be good to put some ground rules in place. And then you can lay out the fact that you're hoping no major maintenance will be required as you would need to get a loan or mortgage, and your'e hoping you can do all minor issues that crop up yourselves, and if something needs someone external you'd like to take that over. I wonder if there might be tax benefits somehow in you paying those bills directly? Either way, have the conversation but go gently. And focus on necessary maintenance: not bills or council tax, and if anything tricky comes up maybe say you'll speak to solicitor to clarify terms of the will so you don't have to engage with it directly.

She should have called your DH but she probably dealt with it as she always has, its a tricky balance as I'm sure she'll feel she's lost some independence.But I wouldn't panic yet.