Ex husband smacking "a lot"

[DogGoneCrazyNow]

Just found out that my youngest is wetting the bed frequently at his dad's house and is smacked "a lot for being very naughty". He told me this and then I questioned his older brother separately (not with pressure just in conversation when talking about time out and how we handle misbehaviour). They're 4&7. They're both very different and my ex has always struggled with youngest (basically just wants to play computer games and eldest is more into this).

Ex was coercive and controlling, had to get an occupation order and a non molestation order. He was arrested but not charged due to lack of evidence. I have a contact order every other weekend plus half holidays. I did recently try mediation again as I'm concerned about his ongoing attitude but he refused. If I just say "I'm filing to court to amend the order because I'm concerned about the hitting" and refuse contact in the meantime am I likely to get in trouble? I really can't stand the idea of my tiny child being hit all the time. It's monstrous. I'm waiting for a call back from an advice line too.

That might be worth calling too, thank you.

Can I just ask you to exercise some caution with using COVID as your excuse. Despite being in isolation with a child on day 10 still symptomatic I was advised by both solicitor and barrister to adhere to the court order at let them go. I had offered alternative contact immediately following the end of isolation but ‘D’F said he would raise a grievance with the judge if they did not go. I am pending final hearing in the coming weeks so this was a factor but so was the fact that we do not really know how DJ will look at withholding contact.
I’m not suggesting you should send the DC, just being honest may be better in the long run esp if you are building a case. Good luck

Thanks everyone. I've told him I'm withholding contact until it's all resolved and offered phone contact. Told him it's been referred to relevant agencies etc. Solicitor said that would be fine as I'm clearly acting in the children's best interests. Thanks so much for all the advice. I feel better now I've committed to a course or action. I can't let them go, that much is clear. It's my job to protect them.

Oh my goodness, you will not be in trouble for stopping contact. Your ex will want you to think that you will, but you will not. You cannot let your children stay with this man. Bed wetting is a sign of abuse in itself. You are Putting your children in this position because of your fear of him. I am not surprised you are scared of him, I would be, but you have to protect your children. Social services will want to know why you continued to put your children at risk by allowing them to go there. I would be reporting this to children’s services and the police. Get it logged and you will have back up to support you x

Yeah I've done all that, they've been pretty good actually. Spoke to both children who told the police what they told me. I hate that he still scares me but I'm not putting my children in danger now I know what's going on. He later showed up and I had to call the police again but all it's doing is backing up my point. I've filed for court and the social worker said that my refusal to send the children was actually a large protective factor so that was reassuring.