To ask where to start with a child contact order?

[Northmumof2]

I desperately need something official for my DD.
Ex p is hostile, emotionally damaging and uses cocaine recreationally.
I don’t trust him he’s had pretty much no input in her care ( she’s 11 months )

My biggest fear is she goes to nursery 2 days a week- what if he just goes and collects her ?
What can I do to stop this and where do I start
I don’t want to stop contact, I want what’s best for her which is consistency and building contact up if I feel it’s safe to do so.

I’ve booked a mediation session but it isn’t for 2 weeks. I don’t know what to do but I’m panicking. I need something sorting.
To get a court order do I need a solicitor ?

I applied for a prohibited steps order so that my husband couldn't take our 2 children. It specifically states in the order that "they must not be removed from myself or anyone I've entrusted with their care and for the avoidance of doubt that includes any nursery, school or childcare provider."

I got this by contacting a family solicitor who specialises in domestic abuse and telling them about the emotional abuse and coercive control I had endured throughout our relationship. My husband would not think twice about playing games and using our children to hurt me.

And I didn't have to go through mediation first and not has it been suggested by the judge.

@lyingwanker that’s so reassuring Thankyou. Did you have to pay a solicitor to apply for the order ? Cost is worrying me !

You need a C100 application form. The court fee is £215 but you can fill in an EX160 to apply for a fee exemption if you are on certain benefits or a low income and less than £3000 in savings.

You need to go to mediation first unless you have an exemption (such as you live 15 miles from your nearest mediator or there has been domestic abuse or the application is urgent).

You would be applying for a ‘lives with’ order which would mean a nursery wouldn’t typically allow a father to remove a child unless his ‘spends time with’ order defined the time he was to spend with the child.

Once you’ve made the application a hearing will be listed for around 6 weeks time. This is effectively a mediation session with Cafcass acting as a mediator. You don’t need a solicitor to attend this hearing. If you can reach an agreement for the arrangements for your child the case ends at this stage. If you can’t agree and the court believe there may be welfare issues (such as drug use) the case would usually be adjourned for around 14 weeks to allow drug testing and a cafcass report to be prepared. If you disagree with the report recommendations you MAY need legal advice at that stage.

If you live in a large city check whether local universities offer legal advice clinics as they will generally offer a free advice session and assistance with form filling.

Good luck!

@Mindblowninbrisvegas Thankyou that’s very helpful! You said the court hearing would be arranged for about 6 weeks after the application for the prohibited steps- does this mean it isn’t granted till then? Or is that more of a review hearing x

There wouldn’t be an order in place until the first hearing had taken place. There is a bit of a no mans land in between an application being made and the actual court hearing. If there have been specific threats to remove the child from your care you can ask for an urgent hearing date but even then you’ll be lucky to get a date within a fortnight.

@Northmumof2 mine was an emergency application covered by legal aid due to domestic abuse and low income. I will continue to receive legal aid throughout any further proceedings although I think he's already given up! (I'm glad!!)

So this is the timeline of what happened:
Monday 9.30 - saw a solicitor and told her about the domestic abuse, gave quite a few examples and said that I was very concerned that he would remove them from my care to spite me.
Monday 2.30pm - in court in front of judge and was granted the order
Weds 9.30 - in front of judge again to give exH chance to amend anything (he didn't show up)

The kids he says the order remains in place for 12 months or until any further court hearings change it

@Northmumof2 in the end although XH refused to give DD back twice at the agreed times I had it written into the CAO when he could and couldn't pick her up etc.
That has worked fairly well for the last 5 years

Has he threatened to take her out of nursery? Courts don’t just give out PSOs willy nilly.

@Northmumof2 make sure he cannot access her passport if she has one. Just in case. Cover all bases.