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Legal matters

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Original poster

My sons dad has blocked all contact and stopped me seeing my son

47 replies

Loochieee · 02/10/2019 20:18

Hi guys, in desperate need of some advice if anyone had gone through or going through a similar situation to mine, so here goes.

My son is 3, he was unplanned and firstly I did not want to go ahead with the pregnancy, my ex persuaded me to carry on(it was quite a controlling relationship). Basically I got bad postnatal depression after I had my son, me and my sons dad split up when he was a few months old due to him not letting me see my family and his and his family's controlling ways with myself and my son. I had my son full time until I got to the point I could no longer cope, me and my sons dad made an agreement between ourselves that he would have my son full time and I would have him fortnightly. All was well until few months ago and he got a new girlfriend, on drop offs him and his girlfriend would hurl abuse at me calling me a crap mum etc. Went though third parties but no luck. I have been to citizens advice, the police and social services but no one seems to want to help. My sons dad has now blocked myself, my family and friends from contacting him, I have no clue how my son is or what school he will be going to. My solicitor says about court, but it is very pricey which I cannot afford and there is no legal aid. I am really at the end of it all as I don't know what to do and I want to see my son.

Any advice thankyou
X

OP posts:
carly2803 · 02/10/2019 20:43

go to court and represent yoursself.i think its about 215 pounds. i agree not ideal but you have nothing to lose

good luck

Ronnie27 · 02/10/2019 20:47

You’ve got to go to court and fight this legally no matter what it costs. He’s 3, don’t let any more time pass.

Doyoumind · 03/10/2019 10:21

You have a legal right to a say in where the child goes to school.

You can compete a C100 form and pay £215 for it to go to court. In theory you should do mediation first but you potentially say you had no way of contacting your ex to arrange it. Alternatively you can attend a meeting with a mediator and get the C100 form signed by the mediator to say you've considered and rejected mediation.

It can take 6 weeks to get a court date but you may be able to get it listed as an emergency if you attend court given that all contact with your child has been stopped, or apply for a PSO to ensure a school application isn't completed without your involvement.

I'm not a solicitor, so not an expert but I have represented myself in court.

Do you have enough money for another hour with a solicitor to get you to a place where you can go it alone?

Original poster
Loochieee · 03/10/2019 13:19

He is playing a very smart game, he tends to unblock me couple days before I'm due to have my son to tell me what time he's dropping him off to me, which is never a suited time which we have discussed but it's either his way or no way so I just agree with him so I can see my son. Then after I drop my son back to him he blocks me again for the 2 weeks so I can't contact my son. He only wants to know when he needs someone to look after him so he can go out. X

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 03/10/2019 14:55

Going to court will mean you have a court order that specifies when contact is going to take place. If he doesn't stick to it then you go back to court. Or you give up and let him get away with it.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 03/10/2019 14:59

How frequently do you see your son and for how long?

Windydaysuponus · 03/10/2019 15:05

Report him to social services. Denying his ds a dm is abuse imo.

Original poster
Loochieee · 03/10/2019 15:08

I see my son fortnightly, Friday til Sunday, he used to let me have him some days during the week, but now doesn't and let's his girlfriend look after him. I'm not letting him get away with it, I am trying everything. I have spoken to social services and they have told me they wouldn't get involved because it's a legal matter. X

OP posts:
Clangus00 · 03/10/2019 15:22

Basically you're going to have to find the money to take this to court.
Good luck.

Original poster
Loochieee · 03/10/2019 15:34

If anyone could give me advice on barristers and the process of court I would really appreciate it, obviously never been through this before. X

OP posts:
pikapikachu · 03/10/2019 15:39

It's £215 to represent yourself.

Judges are very sympathetic to people who don't come with legal representation and will help you with the process.

You might want to say what area you live in if you want recommendations for legal assistance.

Thehouseintheforest · 03/10/2019 15:44

Very few people employer a solicitor these days for child contact. A barrister is even rarer and very expensive.

Self representation is the NORMAL way. The court and the judges are used to it.

If you are on low wage or benefits, you fill in form ex60 (help with fees) and pay nothing at all.

Complete steps set out above by previous posters and get to court !!

Original poster
Loochieee · 03/10/2019 16:10

Thanks all!

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 03/10/2019 22:20

Good luck. Your son has a right to see his mother, and the courts will be supportive.

CodenameVillanelle · 03/10/2019 22:25

Report him to social services. Denying his ds a dm is abuse imo.

It's a private matter, not for social services to get involved with.

You need to download a C100 form and complete it, and also find a mediator who will agree to see you both. Then you go to the mediation appointment with or without him (you will have to pay for this) if he doesn't go then the mediator signs the form and you can file it at court for a hearing.
I have to say, it sounds like you are getting contact just nothing in between? Is that right? Or has he stopped it altogether? Because if you are having contact the court might not grant you any more than you already have.

Doyoumind · 03/10/2019 23:27

Isn't it about formalising contact rather than increasing it though?

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 03/10/2019 23:32

Dont return your son after the next contact.

Poppiesway1 · 03/10/2019 23:34

Thefe is a fb group Single Parent Support - UK Based. There is a fab lady on there who can advise you. Shes one of tbe admins. She has represented herself. (It is not me - but an old friend)

Original poster
Loochieee · 03/10/2019 23:37

Really appreciate all your comments. Have joined that Facebook group. Thanks x

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 03/10/2019 23:38

You won't need a barrister or solicitor. Just file the forms and represent yourself.

You need to be clear what you want. Is it more contact?

CodenameVillanelle · 04/10/2019 06:54

Isn't it about formalising contact rather than increasing it though?

The courts operate a no order principle. Ie if it ain't broke don't fix it. They will not grant an order if parents are capable of managing contact between them and things do need to go quite badly wrong before that isn't considered to be the case.
It's rarely as simple as going to court to 'formalise' what's already in place.

Doyoumind · 04/10/2019 10:22

Villanelle I have been through the court system several times so I know how it works. I was pointing out that the OP hadn't asked for an increase in contact. She wants the contact that should happen and has informally been agreed to happen. She doesn't have a consistent schedule. Her ex tells her when she's having contact and that's when it happens.

Raphael34 · 04/10/2019 10:26

Are you in a position to have your son full time? I don’t know why you give him back to your abusive ex

RuffleCrow · 04/10/2019 10:30

You should be eligible for legal aid as this is a child arrangements matter. If not, can you take out a loan or get a credit card to cover it? Can you speak to your local credit union and explain the circumstances?

minesapinkgin · 04/10/2019 10:33

Are you trying to gain back full time care of your son or are you trying to resume the fortnightly contact?

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