divorcesettlement advice

[suethepoo]

I'm a divorcing single mum. i won't bore you all with the background of my marriage but let's say it was controlling to say the least, with a lot of financial control.

i have my fdr coming up and with a lot of financial help from my parents am able to get good counsel. my husband has lied a lot in his disclosure but i simply do not have the funds to unpick all the lies. the way it stands at the moment is 300k equity in the fmh, with a mortgage of 600k remaining. he also owns 2 properties totalling another 300k equity. he earns 14k per month net.

im favouring a mesha order in which he pays the mortgage and we spilt 50\50 in 17 years. ill be 55. this will be based on him paying the mortgage of 2 k per month. I'd also like 2k per month child benefit and 1k spousal. is this reasonable?

how long do i get spousal maintenance for? i work 2 days a week at the moment and earn 1k per month. my baby a 1. any advice would be welcome. thank you

You are not likely to get an extended mesher order, but you are likely to get the equity (if he already has another home) plus spousal on top of standard child support (but not mortgage as well). Spousal is likely to be until your child reaches secondary ish. Better may be to come to a private arrangement, you may get more.

OP, you should be aware that as an American he SHOULD be filing US forms recording every bank account ( FBAR) your solicitor should be requesting these as well as his US tax returns. If your DH is making that kind of money, there’s more money to be put into the marital asset pot. Stocks, shares, pension - did you help him build the business he has now?

If he’s made you an offer now, use that as the base of your negotiation but you should know more to obtain more. Is your solicitor up to scratch? Do they have experience of a higher net worth split?

No self-respecting family lawyer would feel able to advise based in the paucity of information available. It can be very damaging to OP to listen to inaccurate advice. FWIW it sounds like many of the posters are underselling the value of her claims.

Just a thought that in addition to any settlement you get you could ask EX to set up an educational trust fund for DC, so long as he isn't a trustee.

If he wants to pay for a private education (pre prep starts from 2.5/3 I believe) then the trust fund could be very specific as to what it covers. This may appeal to him as not giving you the funds. It also means that you know what is available and if there isn't enough money to pay for fees, uniform, extra curricular stuff you know not to commit to it. Otherwise it's another way to try and control you.

With such a lot of money at stake you need to accept that you need to pay for experienced expert advice. Such a lot going on with him gaining his own business that isn't UK based etc.

I think it's a huge risk to rely on receiving money in the future but the right legal team can tell you the ins and outs of how rulings can be enforced if he moves abroad, moves his business abroad etc.

At the moment it sounds like you don't even know fully his wealth and where it is kept.