Keeping my son in hospital against my will

[TaashenMartian]

My son was born at 34 weeks on the 14th October with a heart condition. For the duration of his life (2 months) we have been in different hospitals. He is now stable enough to go home until his operation but because me and my sons dad had an argument in the hospital social services are involved and they won’t let us take him home. I have another child (a3 year old) who is still in my care and they have no plans to take her away. I want to know if they can legally keep my son in hospital due to safeguarding issues If my daughter is still in my care? Can I legally self discharge him if he is well enough to go home even though social services are involved? They have no reason to take my children from me as all it was was an argument, hence why my daughter is still in my care. But they are refusing to discharge my son until the case is resolved. Can they legally do this? What rights do I have? I feel if there are real safeguarding issues and my son can not be in my care then surely my daughter can’t either? Any advice would be much appreciated. This is incredibly stressful and I just want my son home for Christmas

Contact the family rights group. They really are great for helping families in cases like this.

MY mum has also decided to take this week coming off of work again so I can stay there every night and try and help get him home. I don’t think my family members understood the seriousness of the situation, hence the lack of help on their behalf. When I am at the hospital (which is 90% of the time) I do all of his medicines and I am also trained on his ng (feeding tube) so I do every feed myself. I know there are others in the hospital who leave most of the care of their babies down to the nurses so I don’t think this can be the concern

I have contacted the family rights group and I am waiting to hear back on Monday how they can help

TaashenMartian
I’m sorry that you are experiencing this. I have no personal experience with social workers but I have professionally. I would advice you to keep detailed notes and try and write down everything you have said with times, dates and names.
I know it will be hard but remain calm and composed every time you speak with them.

If the safeguarding complaint has come from staff from a tertiary London hospital it is possible that the SW is aligning greater importance to the information because it has come from a specialist hospital.

It is perfectly normal to argue when you are under stress. Obviously, it is not ideal but it not a safeguarding risk. You were asking for support when you spoke in confidence with the nurse and although she had a duty to report anything she was concerned about it does sound like the SW has been overzealous.

And remember in social work terms you need to be good enough, you don’t need to be a perfect parent you just need to be good enough.

M

childprotectionresource.online/category/good-enough-parenting-2/

TaashenMartain I so hope the meeting on Monday goes well.
Try and get the safeguarding nurse to write down her concerns so you are able to have a copy to to take to you solicitor/ family rights group.
Good luck
Let us know how you get on if you can

Thankyou for all the helpful comments I will update when I know more

The NHS kept your 34 week old preterm baby alive, for FREE OP.
I know this must be a difficult time, but how ridiculous to slag off the service that meant you have a live baby, who I imagine has received world class care.
Why don’t you go private if the nhs is so shit.....
Also have worked in safeguarding, and it’s extremley unlikely that they would put all these things in place based on a Mum asking for more support with no other concerns. Does your partner have any other children/history of dv/ criminal history? Why don’t you live together?
They won’t take your children away unless they have a very good reason. If you co-operate with them, and join in the spirit of ‘my children need to be safe and happy before anything else’, then that will make a good impression. If nothing has happened, and there’s no concerns about your parenting, then you should be fine.
Slagging off the services and belittling the process does not inspire confidence in your judgment or ability to parent.
I hope this gets resolved quickly, and your wee boy gets home as soon as possible

I'd say just get a solicitor to sort things out and prove your rights.

I don't think this can be the concern
You don't seem to know what the concern actually really is.

Instead of fighting people all the way for your rights, I think you need to listen to people and find out what the issue is.

Again, I am very concerned that you are going to take this baby away to visit relatives when he is discharged because they Didn't have time to come and visit him.

I think that the baby's needs need to come first and maybe there are concerns that maybe they won't

Also, what is the information that they were relaying that isn’t true that they were using to try and turn you and your partner against each other?
This sounds extremely relevant

Why are you leaving meetings without having understood what they've said to you?? You have a meeting with the safeguarding nurse coming up; so they very obviously do have concerns regarding the safety of your children
Do you have anyone who could accompany you to the next meeting? You're doing nobody any favours by fluttering about like this claiming they're not telling you anything. Of course they will, if you ask.

That comment about the staff attempting to turn you and your partner against each other is a prime example... They are doing no such thing, you must know that really?

I still think there’s more going on than what OP is telling us. I have expereance with SS and it takes a lot more than a small argument in hospital for them to stop a child being discharged.

There has to be some kind of background, SS involvement in the past? DP has a criminal record? A history of domestic violence?

I hope the meeting goes well and you get some answers but please listen to what their concerns are and do your best to address them even if you don’t beleive them to be true.

I still think there’s more going on than what OP is telling us
I don't think the OP herself knows what is going on.

If I was in her position I would ask the doctor what is going on and if they didn't know I would ask SS.

I don't understand how there have been meetings and the OP doesn't know what the outcome is, unless of course she is storming out of them halfway through.

She does know, she's just pretending not to here to elicit sympathy. It's classic behavior of those involved with SS. I've seen people swear blind that they don't understand what is going on and that its the SW maliciously targeting them, while holding the paperwork explaining every action and reason for it, after coming out of a meeting explaining same in great depth.

And it’s very silly of people who do that. Because if they were brutally honest they could actually get some good advice on what to do to turn the situation around. They might not get as much sympathy but that’s not the important thing. The important thing is knowing what they need to do in order to possibly keep their child. If people are daft enough to prioritise sympathy over possible life changing advice which could enable them to keep their baby then words fail me.

I agree ‘curry’, I have read many reports from SS and everything is clearly outlines, all concerns, what is being asked of the parents and what SS are going to do to help. It is classic behaviour to act dumb about it, there obviously is concerns or it wouldn’t have got to this. If OP told us the whole story then maybe we could offer more useful advice?

Of course she knows

How did the meeting go?

I'm a GP, I work in an area well known for its child protection issues. I have never in 13 years ever seen social services intervene when I didn't think it was necessary. I have, many many times, seen them not intervene when I and other professionals asked them to. Not that they didn't want to/were lazy/couldn't be bothered, they are just even more overstretched than the NHS. no way would they be keeping a baby in hospital with no significant concerns. I'm sorry OP, but your inability to see what the real issue is would be very concerning to me if I was involved.

Very true. It’s one thing minimising it on MN but if you’re also minimising it in real life/to yourself you’re on a one way road to a lot of heartache.

I needed a SW. I didnt get one easy. Police report after police report had to go in. On top of me asking school to refer me along with the GP.
(My son is off the rails) he can be a risk to my younger two and i still struggle to get the SW to involve herself as they are so overstretched