Keeping my son in hospital against my will

[TaashenMartian]

My son was born at 34 weeks on the 14th October with a heart condition. For the duration of his life (2 months) we have been in different hospitals. He is now stable enough to go home until his operation but because me and my sons dad had an argument in the hospital social services are involved and they won’t let us take him home. I have another child (a3 year old) who is still in my care and they have no plans to take her away. I want to know if they can legally keep my son in hospital due to safeguarding issues If my daughter is still in my care? Can I legally self discharge him if he is well enough to go home even though social services are involved? They have no reason to take my children from me as all it was was an argument, hence why my daughter is still in my care. But they are refusing to discharge my son until the case is resolved. Can they legally do this? What rights do I have? I feel if there are real safeguarding issues and my son can not be in my care then surely my daughter can’t either? Any advice would be much appreciated. This is incredibly stressful and I just want my son home for Christmas

Well, at least we've moved forward. We've now established that there is a family law barrister who has confirmed that the emphasis is now on removal rather than support. Posters are admitting that maybe you can get the odd sw who acts wrongly but it would not go any further because it would have to be agreed on with the rest of the team/higher management, etc. There are now 8 or more posters on the list who have had issues with ss, therefore the poster who claimed Killer and I sound deranged would now have to say 8 of us are deranged, which is unlikely. Therefore OP could be correct in that one sw is wrongly opening a case?

I am the poster who said you and fair “y sound unhinged. I haven’t changed my opinion. You are both being extremely aggressive and dogmatic, without answering any of the reasonable questions posters are putting to you.
You e both claimed that social services have wrongly targeted you, without giving any evidence of why this is the case. You’ve then hounded anyone who quite rightly asks for more information, or points out flaws in your thinking.
Why don’t you both back away from this thread. You arent converting anyone to your cause, and your attacks and unpleasantness seem to be escalating.

Disappointed! I thought i'd put my case quite succinctly?

Don't think I have been "hounding"? I've only had one post deleted and i'm assuming that was because I named the mp who outed the barrister. You sound quite rattled Pasta, could this be because we are now moving forward and others are agreeing?

Can't find where I was aggressive Pasta? Could you requote it please? And i'm proud to be "dogmatic", thanks for that.

This is exactly my point. I’m not ‘rattled’. We aren’t ‘moving forwards’. Just As many people have question the narrative than have agreed with you.
You’ve said that your child was put on a CP plan because of ‘lies’, but given no explanation about what these lies were, the motivation for them etc. Are we supposed to take this as gospel? You have a motivation to belittle and cast aspersions on social services, as you’ve been on the sharp end of them. Thus everything you say needs to be examined objectively, to look for bias.
I think I’m going to stop posting, as there’s no meaningful dialogue here. You aren’t being reflective, or willing to change your opinion or examine your own behaviour.
I’m sure you’ll have some ‘comeback’ to that, implying that I’m an evil person, or running scared etc etc. But who cares? Insult away. I’m secure in myself. I care deeply about children, and support social services and the NHS trying to protect them, as should every right minded person.

Ok, bye.

CurryWorst

I'm stunned that a social worker is naive enough to say couples shouldn't argue. Utterly ridiculous

Do you not think then its rather more than possible that they didn't'

Curry I have masses of experience of social services (and not as a parent of a child so no axe to grind) and can fully believe that SOME social workers might say things like this.

Some social workers are brilliant, some are (like any other workplace varied) bigoted and judgemental.
Some have no clue whatsoever about being a parent and have the read from a book unrealistic expectations.

Some lie and lie openly. Yes they do not make the decision alone but when they are lying and lying about things it certainly gives them weight rather than a parent.

Most social workers do an amazing job but from experience many are overworked, overtired, over stressed and the result of this is some can't appropriately handle the task.

We've had awful experience of social workers as someone who works with them.

In regards to the hospital my Mum is a senior nurse and it's not unusual at all for parents of long term poorly children to not be there 24/7!
Many times families have other children to car for, children can't not go to school for six months if their sibling is in hospital, there might not be anyone else to do it or it reaches a point that in order to stay afloat and pay rent or mortgage and bills they need to go back to work. Entirely normal from experience.

@TaashenMartian
If you get this sorted have a look at www.lagans.org.uk
They are a brilliant charity and support network for parents of children with heart conditions.

All I know of it is that more than one sw has been reported to the police for releasing information they shouldn't have (to LOTS of people in a group email), making things up and bullying behaviour. I don't know the ins and outs but I know that the police are onside and agreeing ss have not acted lawfully. Obviously escalating things within ss have not been successful.

Obviously I can't go in to much detail of what's happened but honestly I'm very shocked. I'd always been a little sceptical of people being down on ss but what's been happening recently to people I know has blown my mind.

Giving out info inappropriately is not a police matter and would be dealt with using proper procedures. Someone is pulling your leg.

Bad shit happens in any profession, people can do bad things. Which is just one of the reasons that there are multiple layers and agencies working together to make sure no-one can do things on their own or without proper supervision.

They aren't pulling my leg. It's regarding an extremely upsetting and life changing situation, nobody is joking around or pulling legs .

As I said, I don't completely know all of the ins and outs but I known the police are agreeing that at least some of social services recent actions in this case merit police investigation.

Curry, you say that bad things can happen in any profession, people can do bad things. Therefore, it is possible that a case of investigation has been started badly.

with OP, I meant to add.

bubbaDon't waste your breath on it, they are the same on every single thread they are on. Nasty and aggressive.

And Pasta says you and I are unhinged

bubba Water off a ducks back since I clocked on to its posting style.

Curry, you say that bad things can happen in any profession, people can do bad things. Therefore, it is possible that a case of investigation has been started badly

Yes, it is. But if you had understood the rest of the point made many times, you would know that it can't continue badly. Investigations may be started for a million reasons, some of them bad ones, such as malicious reporting or over enthusiastic case worker. But then they have to be reviewed by multiple layers of people in multiple agencies, which is how you know that if they have got to a certain point, there IS a serious reason for it.

This is not a difficult thing to understand, is it? If your own investigation was abandoned at that point, surely you should be agreeing with me, not arguing against me?

OP talks about safeguarding nurses and SW'ers (multiple) and meetings....certain benchmarks must have been met for this to be happening.

There must be malicious SW and incompetent SW who make errors, but then surely the OP would be saying ‘SS have said xyz happened and it’s not true’.

In the meeting if the SW said ‘my concerns are that
-Mum has not been at the hospital twice due to childcare
-Mum told a nurse about an argument she had with her partner
These are the only issues but we want to prevent baby from leaving hospital’

Surely someone else in the meeting would question this???

I don’t think anyone thinks mistakes don’t get made and they may have been made here or lies may have been made up by the SW to keep the baby in hospital but it just can’t possibly be how the OP says with only these two issues.

It wouldn't even have got to a meeting on those grounds. I've seen meetings cancelled for lack of time on grounds a hundred times more serious than that.
the idea that several professionals would go to a meeting if those were the listed concerns is ludicrous in the extreme.

Curry, what if the bad start was then officially endorsed by the team leader, despite her having seen evidence to disprove the sw reports. (as happened in our case) what if it then moves on to cp conference, where other professionals are reluctant to go against the sw and team leader? (as happened in our case) what about if it then progresses to court and you think "now we'll have some support for the children, the Guardian and the Children Solicitor but they also are very reluctant to go against the authorities? And your own solicitor advises you to admit emotional harm because denying everything will make it worse. What about if ss report innacuracies such as long term mental ill health, your doctor writes to confirm you have never had mental ill health, but they ignore this and continue to report mental ill health? What about if they hide good reports and use their own bad reports and you had no idea that there were good reports? What about if an expert advises the court not to do a certain thing with the child because it will cause serious deterioration, so they firstly obtain the care order with the false reports then go against the expert and cause the serious deterioration, thus causing harm to other children too. What if even the Director of IPSEA says they can't do that, they must be bluffing! But they do it anyway. So you write to your MP, Director of ss, ombudsman, children's minister, deputy prime minister with all your evidence but everyone is reluctant to intervene. And you continue to watch your and other children suffer. What if, years later, you still can't get justice? You would come on here wouldn't you, to let others know? That's what we're doing.

I really have no comment on your own case, other to say I imagine others might see it differently, and that you clearly have a massive bias so are probably not the best person to be advising others on threads like these.
If you have a grudge to settle, don't try and influence other people with it.

Ok, thanks for reading anyway.

I wouldn't call it a grudge though, more justice for the children. That's always worth fighting for, isn'it?