Can they take my baby away

[saraheve]

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

Its lovely to hear how well you and baby have bonded. Has your ex been in any contact?

Have you given baby a name yet?

Thanks AyeAmarok yes I'm just keeping positive. Not listening to any negative comments as from my experience they always seem to be wrong. And yes the social worker did say court can have diffrent outcomes not just removal. So I hope and prey for the best.

I wasn't drinking and smoking during pregnancy I took drug and alcohol tests for months to proove it as I knew I'll need proof for future.

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, sarah.

Not meaning to be patronising here but since you've shared a photo I don't think you should tell us her name. (I don't put my children's names on here as it's all public - not like FB with privacy settings.) And especially in your case, I think social workers might not think it was very wise if they happened to come across it.

Anyway, just my opinion, and again, congrats.

Lounge your 100% right. Positive people are always more right than the negitive

To other posters, too lazy to read the thread, the reason Sarah has said she will 'fight for her' is because she has already been told there is no chance of her DS returning until she had demonstrated stability for at least one year, so the only question is whether she retains care of her daughter at this stage.

Talking in third person, sarah, or name change fail?

Reported.

Somer she's copied and pasted lougle's comment from further down the thread.

21.56 it was made at.

I just scrolled up, and realised that!

Sorry sarah

Listen love, if you put an asterix either side of quoting another poster like this then it bolds their words like this. Or use speech marks "like this". It helps prevents fuckwits like me from making mistakes!

Having reported yours I will now tell MNHQ what happened (as if they only give a cursory look they could make same mistake) and ask them to delete mine instead.

As I say, congrats on your daughter but be careful how much info you give out on here. You don't want to risk anything coming up against you in court.

Sorry again!

I sometimes forget to bold I sound like I'm arguing with myself half the time

Oh I agree with Somer about sharing her name. I think when courts are involved there is quite a lot of privacy laws in regards to children's details.

Better safe then sorry.

Sending big hugs and lots of luck to you and your little children. I hope that everything turns out well for you all

Thanks I was originally afraid they will take baby as soon as I give birth. Then worried I'll be monitored and won't get to spend time alone with her they must see im not a imidiant risk . I won't give up on both my children nomater what happens. I've bonded with her and love being a mum. Yes I feel guilty my son is in foster care. Yet making mistakes, doing your best to fix them and doing what right making right decisions, actually thinking before I make a decision,c can only make me a better mum. 😊

Sarah you sound like this is what you really want, being able to be a proper mum. I have my fingers firmly crossed for you

Yes what I want with my whole heart and mind is to be the best mum I can be, not for myself but out of my love for them. I've made mistakes but I know now to think before I act or make a decision and even though I'll love to turn back time and know what I know now. I think learning and changing from my mistakes. it has made me a better person which can only make me a better mum. Thanks for people who believe I can do it. Anything is possible right xx

It's good that you've took responsibility for the mistakes you made but please, please remember depression can affect anyone.

We can blame ourselves for how we deal with Depression/anxiety etc, but not the fact we got it in the first place.

When the MH team sign off if the depression comes back you need to ask for the help. No one has children removed for poor MH just dealing with it badly and putting them at risk.

Yes your right UnbornMortificado it's horrible being depressed and I blame myself how I dealt with it. But I will make better decisions now. I hope and prey I will not be separated from my baby as I truly have learnt from my mistakes and would never hurt her

How are you today Sara , do you have a court date?

I'm good apart from court date the ss will tell me tomorrow. My son came today to visit it was beautiful. I'm so proud of him he spent pocket money on buying his baby sister presents. He looked at her with so much love. I'm in love with her to hope I'm given a chance. Ss want to take her to foster carers buy ime going to contest against it. It's very upsetting as I love her so much.

Sorry to hear about the foster carers Sarah did they say why?

I'm glad your DS got to meet his sister.

Have ss gone back to court yet, presumably they need to to take her into foster care. Are you still in hospital or would you be able to attend?

I'm sorry to hear that SS want to place your DD in foster care, Sarah. I know you knew this was a possibility. All you can do is enjoy the time you have with her now, prepare the best you can for court and do your best to cope with whatever is decided.

Sorry to hear about the foster carers Sarah did they say why?

There is a process they have to follow before initiating care proceedings. They have to issue a letter before proceedings which sets out all the concerns and then hold a meeting before proceedings at which parents are legally represented via legal aid, which sets out the local authority's expectations. Plans and assessments are agreed and negotiated. They can't take a parent to court without explaining why - but sarah has done her best to give reasons up thread and to be fair probably doesn't want to do it again.

Oh Sara I'm sorry.

Is there no chance of you being placed with your DD in a foster placement? Could be seen as a compromise and meeting children's services halfway iyswim.

I think it was mentioned upthread, I don't have much SS /court experience so I'm not much help.

I'm going to court this week not sure of day to fight against it. Social services say I've made the changes but want to see it maintained for longer