Can they take my baby away

[saraheve]

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

Sara of course they will be looking for evidence - part of their job is ruling things out. They can't assume the baby isn't affected by substance use in pregnancy, they need to check!

You've got a really good attitude about all the investigations SS are doing. It just gives you positive evidence for court.

Yeah as my Therapist says just keep my side of the street clean. Thanks for everyone's nice words means a lot. X

Have you had any visitors to see you and the baby? If not then I'd try to invite some people to visit you if you feel up to it. It'll show midwives and social workers that you have a good support system around you, which they'll be looking at as well as everything else.

How's baby doing?

Sara how much did she weigh?

(You don't have to answer if you don't want too)

How is baby doing Sarah? Have you picked a name. She is darling. Making me even more broody!

Your situation is not unlike ones I have heard about, having attended the freedom programme and got to know some of the women and their stories.

Abusive relationships drive even the most level headed people to do things that nobody could foresee, and act in such a way that is alien to them.

Sounds like your ex was very emotionally abusive. You would do well to attend the freedom programme. Not sure where you are but if you're local to me I could help try point you in the right direction.

Keep with the positive attitude, the attitude of some of the posters on this thread are quite frankly horrible.

Sarah is HUMAN and so are you. Some people would do well to remember that and treat others accordingly.

Thanks DearMrDilkington my dad and brother and babys great nan has visited. When noone is visiting I like it as I get to bond with her. But family are being supportive.

Thanks Ohb0llocks, and thanks UnbornMortificado she weighed 6pounds 9. She's tiny even new born clothes are quite big for her. Very cute though I'm in love. X

It's a bit silly if I have no drugs in my system and social services have proof of that baby will definitely have none. Even if the worst does happen in court next week I'll still carry on doing well and do my best to get her back. I really hope it doesn't come to that I'll try and push for a mother and baby unit. So they can see my intention is to put her needs first.x

She's beautiful Sarah, congratulations! Good luck with everything.

6lb 9 what a little sweet pea ❤

Sara of course they will be looking for evidence - part of their job is ruling things out. They can't assume the baby isn't affected by substance use in pregnancy, they need to check!

I agree.

If they didn't they wouldn't be doing their job.

Is your son still coming into visit you and baby?

I'm not at all implying you have but it's quite easy to forge positive drugs tests.

Like a PP has said it's there job. Seeing as there's nothing in her system it can only be a positive thing.

My niece was 6 pound and she was tiny, I was a bit scared to pick her up. A bit daft considering my four year old was a thirty weeker and under 3lb.

It's easy to forget how little they are at first.

Wishing you well sara. The strength you have shown on here is very inspiring.

UnbornMortificado your right that's true drug tests can be forged. The fact that her drug test is negitive can only be positive. I'm nervous about going court but I'm gonna try push for a mother and baby unit that way I can proove myself while not being separated. I feel bonded already. I know every case is diffrent but in the relapse group I went to their was a women who's baby was addicted to heroine and she was moved to a mother and baby unit and got help to come off of drugs. So I hope judge will give me a chance I got all my supporting letters ect and a smart suit. Times like this in life you realise what's the most important thing. Your children, family. Sometimes we take for granted or get wrapped up in our own problems, especially with depression. But all I want to be is the best mum I can be. I can't give up. Lucky theirs no current concerns they just want to see if can keep it up which I'm 100percent confident I can. Theraphy has also helped alot cbt to deal with low feelings differently in future. Wish me luck please. X

Thanks for the support and kind words on hear it helps me feel more positive xx

Sarah, I wish you and the children your happy ever after.

Xx

Thanks MrsPeelyWally I really appreciate that. I do to, i believe if someone is dedicated and tries their best anything can be possible. Especially if it means the world to them. Thanks again xx

Well that's obviously a good thing.. and I did mention it, but like I said in the comment. if I was wrong I was wrong, the way you spoke about it in another comment made it seem to me like you was drinking and smoking throughout pregnancy. I wasn't saying that baby would be born addicted to alcohol or drugs I just didn't find the comment clear.

I said that a few things didn't seem to add up to me. One being why they would leave your son for so long without seeing you just so he would settle with carers. That just made me think eh as from experience that doesn't happen but as you have said, that is no longer the case. And that's good!

I wish you well. I hope that you can get your son back and keep your daughter and you can all move on from this, obviously your lesson was learnt.. hopefully!

Of course it's possible to make changes and sustain them. I'm living proof of that.

The mother and baby unit sounds ideal. If you waver or suffer a MH blip there will be people there who can help you.

I really hope you get that chance to prove yourself.

How long until court Sara? You have to stay in hospital until then, dont you? I hope you have some lovely midwives on your ward to keep you positive about things.

Yes I was told I'll be monitored and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to spend time alone with her but midwifes are happy with my bond and pleased im breastfeeding and I get to spend lots of time alone with her. Not sure when I have to go court probly be next week some time. Hate the thought of going but at least I'll have a chance to have my say and try to fight to stay with her. Initially I was scared they will take her from birth and go to court without me because I know that happens. I just hope I am given a chance as I love being a mum. My son is coming to visit me but I'm not sure when. I'll keep you posted on the outcome. Miracles do happen right ☺💖

The best thing was as soon as I gave birth straight away they put her to my chest. I really appreciated that. It made all the pain seem worth it. I do love being a mum.

Good luck Sara, I hope you continue on a positive path.