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Legal matters

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Original poster

abducting my kids

81 replies

mamamiamoo · 22/09/2016 19:41

a dramatic title but I am currently outside of the UK in the country of my husband and wish to return to the UK asap with my kids.

The children are British nationals but the country we live in is not signed to the Hague convention and has a corrupt and incompetent legal system.
My husband and I have been separated for a couple of years and he is now threatening to have my visa cancelled and to keep the kids here. I take his threats seriously as he has done a lot of terrible things already and am planning to leave as soon as possible without alerting anyone.

However I am worried that I won't be be able to enter the UK without a letter of permission from him as my passport is not in married/childrens surname.

Any advice appreciated

OP posts:

Footle · 22/09/2016 19:56

No advice but hoping you get some very soon. What a horrible situation.

titchy · 22/09/2016 20:03

Do you have family in the UK? If you also take their birth Certs that would prove you're their mother. Would probably be enough to get you entry to UK - say you're visiting family.

I'd have thought leaving the country you're in would be the difficult bit...

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 22/09/2016 20:03

Is there a British Embassy in the country where you are who could give you some advice?

MrsBertBibby · 22/09/2016 20:13

It's possible the country has a protocol with the UK, rather than being a Hague signatory. Pakistan is one such.

But from the sounds of it, it may be best to run first and consider consequences later.

Bring birth and marriage certificates if you can.

Original poster

mamamiamoo · 22/09/2016 20:14

Thanks for answering. I have their birth certificates and they have british passports. I'm just scared of being refused entry to the UK without a letter of permission as I've seen it is required.
I am planning to leave as soon as possible without arousing suspicion as much as is possible.

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 22/09/2016 20:17

You don't need a letter of permission if you have their passports and you can prove you're their parent. This gets said all the time but you really don't. If they ask (which they probably will) just say you and your husband are separated, which is true.

BertieBotts · 22/09/2016 20:19

They might ask the kids themselves "Is this your mum?" or "Who is this?" and "Where's Dad?" (Always confuses my DS because my DH is who he calls Dad but he's not who they are talking about.) But honestly I have never heard of anybody actually being stopped. Are you also a British citizen? I don't think you will have an issue.

Hassled · 22/09/2016 20:19

I have no constructive advice but wish you the very best of luck.

metimeisforwimps · 22/09/2016 20:23

My friend just came back from holiday in her husbands country (in Africa) leaving her husband there. I've no idea if they asked about it but she didn't mention any problems. Might it be easier to say you are visiting family in the uk?

missyB1 · 22/09/2016 20:24

I don't think you will have a problem getting in if you have the birth certificates. Just do it ASAP don't dither. Good luck x

Original poster

mamamiamoo · 22/09/2016 20:25

thank you, this is reducing my off the chart anxiety!

OP posts:

Lagirafe · 22/09/2016 20:25

Please contact the British Embassy / High Commission.

I have been in a very similar position and they helped me to escape with my children.

My situation was very serious though and DV was putting the children at significant risk of harm. The steps you are planning are very serious.

It can be done though.

In my case I had to book flights, grab the kids and go. I was advised to tell the kids and act as if we were going on holiday to keep us under the radar.

titchy · 22/09/2016 20:27

Will you be able to get through security to leave your current country though? Agree with just telling kids and official your visiting family - maybe return tickets?

Waltermittythesequel · 22/09/2016 20:28

What country is it?

I don't think there'd be a problem with British passports and birth certificates.

SolomanDaisy · 22/09/2016 20:33

I've only ever been asked once and have travelled lots with DS without DH. And that was in the country we were leaving rather than in the UK. I've never been questioned returning to the UK and I'm guessing if you're all travelling on British passports you won't be either.

BertieBotts · 22/09/2016 20:35

If you have the same name as them it should reduce hassle as well. I think the main reason I get asked is because I don't have the same name as DS (Plus now I'm married I don't match his birth certificate either).

MrsBertBibby · 22/09/2016 21:11

I got stopped coming home from Spain once (different surname to my son, then 3.)

The immigration woman asked him "do you know who this lady is?" (Pointing at me.)

The little loon gave me an appraising look and told her confidingly "I'm not really sure".

They still let us in. They are looking for traffickers, not family disputes.

Familylawsolicitor · 22/09/2016 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 22/09/2016 22:13

God, how awful OP.

I'd be tempted to do the 'visiting family' thing as well, with return flights and just not return tbh. I have no idea how wise that is.

Footle · 23/09/2016 06:39

OP, are you all right ?

Lunar1 · 23/09/2016 06:45

How soon can you leave? Id take it seriously too.

Rosa · 23/09/2016 06:46

I have been through the UK with my children on British passports and they went through as normal. My surname was NOT the same as my childrens .when I got a new passport I put both in for thsi reason. However with birth certificates you will be fine as it is extra proff. plus ypu are British going home so easier. When travelling on their ID cards it states ( and is logged) that they have to be with either me or dh. What about leaving the country you are in would that be a problem? Good luck do you have any friends who can help ypu ?

pinkmagic1 · 23/09/2016 07:00

I don't think you will have a problem entering the UK at all. Lots of people have different surnames to their children and in fact British women are really in the minority in changing their names on marriage.
I would be more concerned with actually leaving the country you are in tbh.
DH is of an Arab background and the dc have very obviously Arab names. The only time I have ever been questioned is on leaving Tunisia on my own with the dc. The fact they had Arab names roused suspicion. On explaining that although they were of Arab background but not Tunisian we were finally allowed to leave.
Good luck and I hope everything goes smoothly, it must be an absolutely nightmare situation to be in.

Purplebluebird · 23/09/2016 07:19

I travel with my son who has a name that is my name + other half's name. Never been questioned!

Fishface77 · 23/09/2016 07:20

Awful situation.
Get out because he WILL follow through on his threat.

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