Prohibited steps order hearing

[CustardCream1]

I have been asked to attend a court hearing as my ex wants a prohibited steps order to prevent me moving 150 miles away, and in fact to prevent me from moving out of the area at all. I got the letter about this today and the hearing is on Tuesday which is hardly any time to prepare. I am really confused and finding it hard to deal with as I'm so upset over it all. Does anyone if I can oppose the prohibited steps order? I've been told that Cafcass will have to do background checks on us both which could take around two months. I am meant to be moving house at the end of August and if I am prevented from moving, I will be homeless as I have already given notice on my current house and I would lose the house I was due to move into. I also have been asked to provide a report from my GP on my mental health (I raised my concerns about my ex's mental health and his ongoing emotional abuse towards me and I guess he wants to get back at me). I am going to try to find a solicitor tomorrow, but in the meantime, can anyone advise me? I am sick with worry. Thank you.

Wow I'm amazed such a deceitful thing could be used in court. It will be edited of course to paint me as the bad guy and him as the good. I will say the bare minimum in future.

My ex told me last night he has secretly been recording our conversations on his mobile and will use it in court against me.

If that isn't a good reason to stop engaging with him except in court, in mediation or in writing, I don't know what is.

You really don't need that level of contact with that he can "tell you" what he's been doing, and you certainly shouldn't be having conversations with him of any length that warrant being recorded.

What have you said to him? If all your conversations have been about the fact that you believe the move is in your DCs best interests and all the things you have explained on this thread, then it won't matter if he's allowed to play the recordings in court or not.

But, if you've threatened that he'll never see your DC again, or told him you're moving to stop him seeing your DC, for instance, then you'll need to be able to explain to the judge why you said it and what has changed your mind.

Nn absolutely not. The conversation last night was me asking him if he coukd please let me know if we could attend family mediation and him refusing to give me straight answwrs. I thought I had made it clear I have no intention whatsoever to limit contact with his child.

What is he hoping the recordings will prove?

I lost my temper at one point and swore at him. I also think he will try to show I was pressuring him into family meduation. I wasn't. Just trying to get a straight answer.

custard it sounds like a very dynamic and high conflict situation; a couple of days ago, you said he wasn't talking to you, had backed off and felt pressured by you, now you and he having conversations he's recording....... What is your solicitor saying is the best thing for you to do?

She has advised to say bare minimum. I can't email him as he does not have an email address and he has currently blocked me from texting him. He has told me to go through his solicitor which I am now doing.

If your ex has been asking you to leave him alone, and he has blocked you from texting him, but you have continued to contact him, I can understand why he has been recording you, TBH.

I know you want to know what is going to happen next, whether you will be mediating or not, and what the court will decide. Its very scary losing control of the situation and having to wait for others to make decisions, but you won't do yourself any favours if you go about things that way.
It can be seen as harassment and he could take further legal steps to prevent you from contacting him.

Please take the advise of your legal advisor.

She could not attend as I only had 3 days notice plus I have very limited funds available as an unemployed single mum. My ex is in the fortunate position his dad is footing his legal bills and will go up to 30 grand.

Nn i have absolutely not been harassing him but he is just trying to play that card. He is an emotionally abusive manipulative control freak. His own father told me he was absolutely ashamed of his son and his treatment of women. Why he is footing his legal bills I do not know.

The threshold for communication to be considered harassment is surprisingly low.

Cut contact with your ex completely, and apply for legal aid. Grit your teeth. You can get through this next bit. For the angry, despairing rage and the abject terror in the face of all uncertainty, call the Samaritans, who will answer the telephone as many times as you need them to, or express yourself on a more validating MN board - Feminism or Relationships or MH. The legal process works devoid of emotion, and my sense is that you need both legal support and emotional support right now.

Does your GP know what you are going through? Are you able to show your GP this thread? You are not the first person to go through what you are going through, and you will not be the last.

Where is your DD at the moment?

I believe you

(The above is not so much advice as how I feel when I think about your DD in this situation, which is paradoxical because Legal Matters is scarcely the place for emotional reactions. Apologies about that.)

Erin you are absolutely lovely. Thank you. My dd is with me safe and well and happy and totally oblivious to all this.

One cannot know what it is that pre-verbal infants know and do not know, which is why your DD needs you to keep her safe, and why I feel so strongly that you need to be pushing for supervised contact arrangements even if it means hanging in for some more days before you move to somewhere more emotionally supportive for you. Cooperate with the legal process, and rage somewhere else. 'Tis the way these things work.

I think Custard will struggle to convince the court that contact needs to be supervised when she has been seemingly happy to offer unsupervised contact up to this point. I would be cautious about even asking for it unless a solicitor agreed it was a sensible request.