Contact centre

[Pondwater20]

Hi, I am new to all this so please bare with me.

Me and my ex do not get on, short lived relationship, but we have a beautiful daughter from it.

She has requested I see our daughter at a contact centre. No abuse etc, just she doesn't like me and I have taken the matter to court - which seems to be her reasoning from what she has said.

After months of disagreeing I go to the contact centre, traffic in my city is appalling especially between my home and the centre, a 40 min drive away.

I arrived 13 mins late, where I was told that mother and daughter had already left, 5 mins prior to me getting there!

I left early to accommodate the traffic, I thought (hour and 5 mins) , there literally was nothing I could have done, I tried calling one number for the centre on the way, but there was no answer.

Now I haven't seen my daughter, I am gutted it's already been 6 months

Where do I stand with this? Was I "in the wrong"? Or could/should mother have waited abit longer?

The centre haven't made a comment obviously as being on the fence.

Contacting the mother everyday could well be seen as harassment by a judge not as interest by the father. They are in the process of setting up contact, things are in court and the mother could well go back to court and say that she feels intimidated and harrassed by the contact and this could set things back especially as the OP failed to arrive for the agreed direct contact.

In court how things look is far more important than how things are and I know people who have been in the OP's position and come out of court being accused of using contact with the child to abuse the parent and that does not improve the chances of quick resolution and a build up of contact between father and child.

OP My advice would be to email the mother saying you'd love an update on your daughter every few days and you'd be grateful if she would email you when she had time and then I'd stop contacting her. If you get nothing from her then raise it next time you're at court and hopefully she will agree to something but don't give her the chance to claim harassment because that won't end well!

What possible reason? Because it matters to him. I've been 2 hours early and more often an hour early for many a business meeting because of the risk of being late. Given these visits will be the most important thing in his life get there 2 hours early next time.

as I said it's highly doubtful the contact centre will allow him to be hanging around the centre for hours upon end before meeting times.

He knows now the roadworks will be in place, he has his satnav, 2 hours is completely over the top and if his ex is going to use things to stop him she may well see this as him waiting to harass, intimidate her or cause a problem (if she's going to use the emails against him)

Hi, I’m looking for advice. I’ve known my ex for13 years we have been split ip for 3 years and we have 2 children together our relationship has always been bad and he was quite abusive when we was together but has got worse since we have split up. I’ve recently found out that he takes cocaine and my instant gut feeling is to stop contact or to set up a contact centre and drug testing so that I can be sure he’s not under the influence of drugs around my children. How do I do this?

@Kd1989
Might I suggest you start another thread! This one is 7 years old!

I don’t know how to do that

@Kd1989

If you’re on a web browser, use this link:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters?call=NewConversationPage

You can try it but I don’t think that link will work on the app, so if you’re using an app scroll to the top where it says “Legal Matters” and click on that to go back to the list of posts in this topic. From there look for the little pencil icon that should say “new” next to it. Click on that and you should be able to write your post again there (or copy and paste from here). Then it will get it’s own listing in the “Legal Matters” topic and people are more likely to respond.

@JaneParker

Women get sick of tired of men being late all the time or not turning up for contact except once in a blue moon. You should have left a lot earlier even if you arrived an hour in advance.

It is theft of time to be late. Not acceptable at all.

Contact only ever works where people are utterly reliable.

Men get sick and tired of women who do everything they can to prevent the father of their child having a relationship.