Police called out to my crying screaming daughter!

[paulanthony1976]

Hi everyone,
So our families bank holiday was ruined by a knock at the door on Saturday night at 10.30pm by the police. Someone had reported a disturbance from our home which the police came to investigate.

I was in bed already, as were the kids, and my wife was getting ready for bed when they knocked us up and interrogated us like criminals. About an hour earlier my 3 year old daughter had been kicking screaming crying tantrum as she didn't want to go to bed, but she soon wore herself out and was fast asleep when the cops came.

They took my kids names and birthdays and school details etc, as well as my wives and mine personal and work details. They had a good look around the house, checked on the kids sleeping in their rooms, asked us lots of questions and then left. Upon leaving the police told us they were satisfied that it was a false alarm, that the matter was closed, and that we had nothing to be worried about.

The next day on Bank Holiday Sunday at 9am, the police returned to our cul-de-sac, knocked on all our friends/neighbours doors and asked lots of questions about our family and if they had heard noise. Needless to say when the police left all our friendly neighbours came back over to us to tell us about their interviews with the police and to get the gossip from us and to express their support to us, and to condemn the "snake in the grass" living among us, and the for wasting the police time.

Although we had done nothing wrong, we now feel like criminals, and losing sleep worrying. Not to mention being gossiped about by our neighbours, even though all our kids play together in the street.

We are really angry at being falsely accused of something, a 3 year old cannot legally create a disturbance, can they? also angry at being told it was a closed matter, when then the next day they came back to interrogate our friends and neighbours. Can I complain for harassment and intimidation, or for defamation and libel?

I am now walking on broken glass every time my kids throw a tantrum and fearful of another public complaint or visit by the police and/or social services.

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcomed please.

Igggi it doesn't happen. Peoples anonymity is protected

Are you trying to claim you were reported because of the noise rather than a concern for your DDs welfare? Really??
I think it's possible - two likely scenarios here, really.

1. The caller was concerned for the welfare of the child or children (either as a one-off or over a longer period of time)
2. The level of noise from the home was consistently offensive and, in the caller's estimation, unmanaged, to the point where the caller felt a need to involve authorities. Perhaps because of back story, interactions with OP, or factors not reported here.

well, fyi, both our kids do great at school/playschool, our son has won several awards at school for excellent learning and behaviour,and art and sport, etc, and our daughter is already able to read letters and numbers and she isnt even 4 yet!, we spend so much time nurturing them both as Our kids are our life and all we do is for them, we do lots of activties together, dont watch much tv and dont allow too much junk foods. when I told the school and playschool about this weekends 'events' all the carers and teachers parties were shocked and felt genuinely for us.

Seems to just be when you put the two of them together they like to argue and bicker, which then leads to more shouting and screaming, IMHO it is just a case of brotherly/sisterly love as the OLD saying goes ;-) Sure that theyll grow out of it eventually, so in the meantime the complainant will just have to suffer in silence.

our daughter did sleep in the car that very afternoon, for about an hour on the journey home from a truely wonderful and educational bank holiday saturday out, therefore 9.30 was a suitable time for her to sleep that evening :-)

You seem very keen on the assumprion of innocence until proven guilty OP. Yet you have immediately presumed the "old lady" next door is"guilty" of reporting you, with absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

Instead you've based your assertions of her guilt on entirely spurious assumptions aout what "old ladies" are like and how "nice" your other young and vibrant neighbours are.

If you're not a tosser you're doing a good impression of one

Can you not accept that the person who reported the noise did so out of concern about the welfare of the child?

so in the meantime the complainant will just have to suffer in silence.

Nice.

You dont think three and six year olds can be taught to be quiet? When are you goung to start with rhat then?
Clearly your children make a huge amount ofnoise, or else you wouldnt have thecops asking yourneighbours. Maybe stop bleating about defamation and such nonsense, andspend some time teaching your kids not to scream so much?

Sure that theyll grow out of it eventually, so in the meantime the complainant will just have to suffer in silence.

Wow, with that attitude, I'd like to call the police on you myself.

our daughter is already able to read letters and numbers and she isnt even 4 yet
Um, big deal? That's hardly exceptional, all these claims about your children are completely irrelevant, and you are painting nothing more than a picture of an arrogant, self-involved parent who can't see when he or his child is being absolutely dreadful.

The complaint was described to us by he police as being about a noise disturbance rather than being about any concern for the welfare of any children.

This thread has everything. MN Bingo, anyone?

A couple of weeks ago I heard screaming late at night. I called the police and they came. I would rather the police came and checked it out then than when a dead body was found the next day. I would not have gone and asked if everything was okay and potentially put myself in danger.

You know you cannot have it all. If someone was in your house threatening you would you prefer it if your neighbours left them to it. I prefer to think we live in a society that looks out for one another.

Presumably you don't let them beat each other or destroy property?

You just make the same rule about screaming. Not hard is it?

Igggi I didn't phrase it right. I know what I want to say but am struggling to. Apologies for causing misunderstanding!

What did you hope to gain by joining MN to post this?

Especially when you do not want to hear opinions other than your own.

and I loooooove that it was posted on "legal matters".

"We'd have happily invited them into our house to see that everything was fine with our kids." Yes - because you are a civilised (if noisy) family and would have been civil.

I would not, as a woman alone at night, knock on someone's door if I heard sounds of screaming and shouting at a level that concerned me as I would have NO idea of the reception that I would get. Also if I was at home alone with small children I would not be leaving them to go and investigate a ruckus at the neighbours.

Mn has very frequent threads by people who are concerned about what sounds like excessive or prolonged crying and the advice from other MNers is almost always 'get the police or SS to check it out'.

To you, the suggestion that you have been abusing your children is insane. To someone outside the house, hearing screaming - it's sometimes the step that saves a child. How many cases in the newspaper are accompanied by the irate call 'why didn't the neighbours DO something?'.

And it is the negative, defensive response to an enquiry that is the factor that prevents people taking action themselves.

I hope all calms down.

beer his children are too gifted and talented to be told to be quiet!

When I was a child and screaming was heard at that time of night, it was probably because my mother had dragged me out of bed to hit me to vent her frustration about my unfaithful alcoholic father.

I called the police myself once. They came round and spoke to me in the same room as my parents. They went away believing that we were a lovely family with a tantruming child.

I bloody wish the police had been as thorough as they are now.

Be grateful for what your experience means for those children who are screaming at night for bad reasons.

"I'd want to know why the police immediately treated us like guilty child abusers, guilty until we had proved our innocence"

Because they care more about the potential victim. And until they have called round, they don't know what they're dealing with.

"you are painting nothing more than a picture of an arrogant, self-involved parent who can't see when he or his child is being absolutely dreadful"

not possible, how can i be self-involved when i dont have any time for myself? all my time is spend around my childrens life and well being, all we do we do for my children, not for the well-being of a nosey-neighbour ;-)

When I was a child and screaming was heard at that time of night, it was probably because my mother had dragged me out of bed to hit me to vent her frustration about my unfaithful alcoholic father.

I called the police myself once. They came round and spoke to me in the same room as my parents. They went away believing that we were a lovely family with a tantruming child.

I bloody wish the police had been as thorough as they are now.

Be grateful for what your experience means for those children who are screaming at night for bad reasons.

I feel sorry for you OP.

Someone did rasie a concern about your child. I wonder how many people on this thread have ever knocked on someones door after hearing a disturbance of any kind?

As someone said near the start you are angry as the implication is there may be something questionable about your parenting or worse. Its natural to wonder who it is who rung them police and want to defend or show them all is ok.

I would feel uncomfortable if I thought someone was sitting judging (rightly or wrongly) watching my family and I....its not a nice feeling.

Maybe mindful of noise and just do your best with the tantrums.

Blu and imagine if you were an old woman as well - in her 50s for instance!