Police called out to my crying screaming daughter!

[paulanthony1976]

Hi everyone,
So our families bank holiday was ruined by a knock at the door on Saturday night at 10.30pm by the police. Someone had reported a disturbance from our home which the police came to investigate.

I was in bed already, as were the kids, and my wife was getting ready for bed when they knocked us up and interrogated us like criminals. About an hour earlier my 3 year old daughter had been kicking screaming crying tantrum as she didn't want to go to bed, but she soon wore herself out and was fast asleep when the cops came.

They took my kids names and birthdays and school details etc, as well as my wives and mine personal and work details. They had a good look around the house, checked on the kids sleeping in their rooms, asked us lots of questions and then left. Upon leaving the police told us they were satisfied that it was a false alarm, that the matter was closed, and that we had nothing to be worried about.

The next day on Bank Holiday Sunday at 9am, the police returned to our cul-de-sac, knocked on all our friends/neighbours doors and asked lots of questions about our family and if they had heard noise. Needless to say when the police left all our friendly neighbours came back over to us to tell us about their interviews with the police and to get the gossip from us and to express their support to us, and to condemn the "snake in the grass" living among us, and the for wasting the police time.

Although we had done nothing wrong, we now feel like criminals, and losing sleep worrying. Not to mention being gossiped about by our neighbours, even though all our kids play together in the street.

We are really angry at being falsely accused of something, a 3 year old cannot legally create a disturbance, can they? also angry at being told it was a closed matter, when then the next day they came back to interrogate our friends and neighbours. Can I complain for harassment and intimidation, or for defamation and libel?

I am now walking on broken glass every time my kids throw a tantrum and fearful of another public complaint or visit by the police and/or social services.

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcomed please.

Ooh er. My children never screamed and shouted if I said no; pouted a bit and stomped into another room perhaps. I think children copy the behaviour of the adults around them OP and if the adults are considerate to those around them the children pick it up very very quickly.

Now, I don't want to be provocative but I too am surprised the police came back and questioned your neighbours. That makes me wonder of this is the first complaint or if, when they got back the station, they looked up you and your dp and saw that one of you had form. Just saying. ...no smoke and all that and as a miserable git of ooooh - 54

I do think it's more neighbourly to knock on the door and check things out.

The guys that lived below us used to knock to complain if kids got noisy - usually in summer holidays when they were nightshift. We reached an uneasy truce in the end and then we moved

People seem to phone police at the drop of a hat

OP why did you start this thread if you were going to disagree with everything everyone said?

You said any thoughts welcome - here are mine:

1. 9.30pm is not a suitable bed time for a 3 year old and could well explain the massive tantrum..
2. The police were acting responsibly to investigate.
3. Your "nice" neighbours are quite possibly lying to you about who reported you.
4. Being a single person living in a four bedroom house and even being in your 50s doesn't automatically mean that you have no idea about children.
5. A screaming child at 9.30pm doesn't make you a "vibrant family". It makes you an inconsiderate knob.

Maybe an old single lady should not have moved to a street full of young

You called her old. There^.

You are rude. And are making yourself sound a bit of a tosser.

Why are your children 'loud'? Don't you teach them about consideration for others?

I am completely with mumblechum on this one. I also suspect it was your rather defensive & self important manner that prompted the police to be so thorough.

Perhaps she felt that it was more appropriate to call the police in this instance, given that people who are abusing their children tend not to admit to it when a neighbour comes knocking for a friendly word

Ubik-the trouble with just knocking is you'll never get the "right " answer. A perfectly nice parent having a very bad day could come over terribly whereas a practiced abuser would easily be able to persuade you all was well.

I never said I wanted to sue the police, thats actually putting words into my mouth, and is just your incorrect assumptions, i was really just attempting to enquire about when an unfounded complaint by a member of the public would be escalated to be classed as anti-social behaviour? and to gage other people similar experiences of similar situations that may have happened top them. Perhaps my spoken words are not as easily translated to written text as they could be, but thats the English language to blame not me!

I'd want to know why the police immediately treated us like guilty child abusers, guilty until we had proved our innocence, instead of innocent until proven guilty which is what our country and justice system is meant to be based upon! Some people are too suspicious of everyone and of everything and should lock themselves in a bubble if they are so worried about life so much! Also the police were 'lying' by saying it was a closed matter, then knocking on neighbours doors the next day. Very unprofessional and untrustworthy.

Direct quote:I did also state 'older' too though, which is what I obviously meant rather than OLD so stop being so pedantic. Surely, when someone views a house they go around at all times of day and night, weekdays and weekends, if an 'OLDER' person wants a 'quiet' life then surely moving to a terraced row of houses almost exclusively occupied by YOUNG, or maybe YOUNG-ER is a better word for the PC people here ;) YOUNG-ER families who like to party, with YOUNG children who do like to play in the streets and make some fun noise while doing so, then it really is not a well-considered home to move to...your choice, so your problem! the fact theirs been no complaints in 5 years until 'now' says it all to me and my neighbours....

If I wanted a 'deadly quiet' life then I certainly would not choose to live in a terraced house or apartment, close to a local school, but I would move to a detached or semi-deatched house or bungalow, far away from any schools, stadiums, etc. Screaming 3-6 year old children are not breaking any laws on noise, no matter how loud their screaming is, as toddlers are under the age of reason.

OP, I am pretty much with you (except on the old ladies comment).

This happened to me once with my eldest daughter. She is nearly nineteen now, but was about three at the time. One morning, she threw a massive tantrum over breakfast and chucked her bowl of cereal across the room. I can't even remember what triggered it, and tantrums were not regular with her at all. I put her in her bedroom to calm down while I cleared up. She carried on raging for another 10 minutes or so before subsiding.

I then brought her down again and she was playing happily in the living room when there came a knock on the door and I answered it to the local policeman. Someone passing my house on the footpath outside whilst my daughter was mid-tantrum up in her room had reported it and they had come to check up.

I never did find out who it was for sure (though we suspected), and just had to put it down to experience. I am in no way an abusive parent. My children are loved and well cared for. I do recall the feelings that unexpected police visit evoked in me though, and they were not pleasant. I felt judged and intruded upon and angry, even though I co-operated fully and the police admitted there was no reason for them to be there.

I do see why the police have to make these visits. There have been too many cases of children coming to harm and even dying because of neglect. In the heat of the moment though I found it hard to think that logically.

I couldn't tell the difference between a child screaming and having a tantrum or a child screaming because they are getting slapped.

I would call the police.

I did also state 'older' too though, which is what I obviously meant rather than OLD so stop being so pedantic

No, it wasn't obvious and it is not pedantic to pull you up on calling ended old.

You are behaving like an idiot. Are you usually this confrontational? It might explain a lot.

No idea what "ended" is about. Her. It should have been her.

OP did it ever occur to you that it might have been one of your nice neighbours that called the police.

Why are you so sure it was the old lady that needs eat plugs and has just moved in?

Seriously, if you come across as badly in rl as you do here, I'm not surprised they looked into it more.

Youre being totally unfair calling them liars. Whats most likely happened is the cops who came out have believed everything was fine. probably reported back its a decent house/family and its a false alarm. As far as theyre concerned all done.

Next morning the belts & braces team come in and go through every call in the past 24 hours & some senior officer has decided no we cant rely on their judgement despite the fact they were the ones there and dealing with it and have passed it back for further enquiries. Enquiries with neighbors is very common in cases like these.

if the cops who attended said they were satisfied then you can guarantee they didnt make the decision to come back. in fact it might not even have been them who came

Calling them untrustworthy liars is totally unfair

OP is not being very pleasant on this thread

But

I think other posters are underestimating how awful if feels to be visited like this. DS had a tantrum/meltdown a couple of years ago that resulted in a police visit an hour later. Police officer was very polite but it's not an experience I'd recommend and we do feel like we are walking on eggshells ever since. DS now knows that if he screams we will give in to what he wants so the neighbours don't call the police.

It's had a lot of long term knock on side effects.

Is it illegal for a child to make noise by having a tantrum? no.
Is 845-930 in the summer, on a weekend, too late for a 3 year 7month old child to go bed. no.
is it responsible for police to lie to public? no.
did I say 50 -something year olds dont know about children? no.
Is it nice to call people knob,tosser,etc? No,unless you are a troll...

I'll be happy once I have had a response back from the police and will leave it in their capable hands now.

I can see how annoying it must have been BUT if you allow your children to have screaming tantrums what do you expect? I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times my 5 year old has had one. Could you children be copying behavior that they see?

Screaming 3-6 year old children are not breaking any laws on noise

Their parents are being complete arses to allow the screaming though.

How do these screaming 4/5/6 year olds manage to keep places in mainstream schools if their behaviour is so disturbed?

In court you are innocent until proven guilty. It doesn't apply for police questioning - they needed to make sure all was well and that they could with good faith drop any further enquiries. Or are you suggesting that just by questioning you and then verifying your account with neighbours, they are saying you are guilty and should not therefore do this? Because that would be bonkers and they'd never investigate anything.

I'm not a troll and I'm sure you're not a tosser but I'm afraid that your posts are making you sound like one.

Is 845-930 in the summer, on a weekend, too late for a 3 year 7month old child to go bed.

Erm, yes! And probably the reason your daughter had a massive tantrum.

Is 845-930 in the summer, on a weekend, too late for a 3 year 7month old child to go bed. no.

Yes, I'd think so. Clearly your toddler's bodyclock thout so too.

is it responsible for police to lie to public?

They didn't lie to you. They did their job on their shift. Their superiors obviously decided to be ultra thorough later. You'd have been a great deal more upset if the chief constable had come out to check on you.

Get a grip. You sound like a melodramatic idiot and a neighbour from hell

thought so ^

And I didn't call you a tosser. I said you were making yourself sound like a bit of one.

Which you are.

Is 845-930 in the summer, on a weekend, too late for a 3 year 7month old child to go bed. no

Correction - yes.

HTH