Police called out to my crying screaming daughter!

[paulanthony1976]

Hi everyone,
So our families bank holiday was ruined by a knock at the door on Saturday night at 10.30pm by the police. Someone had reported a disturbance from our home which the police came to investigate.

I was in bed already, as were the kids, and my wife was getting ready for bed when they knocked us up and interrogated us like criminals. About an hour earlier my 3 year old daughter had been kicking screaming crying tantrum as she didn't want to go to bed, but she soon wore herself out and was fast asleep when the cops came.

They took my kids names and birthdays and school details etc, as well as my wives and mine personal and work details. They had a good look around the house, checked on the kids sleeping in their rooms, asked us lots of questions and then left. Upon leaving the police told us they were satisfied that it was a false alarm, that the matter was closed, and that we had nothing to be worried about.

The next day on Bank Holiday Sunday at 9am, the police returned to our cul-de-sac, knocked on all our friends/neighbours doors and asked lots of questions about our family and if they had heard noise. Needless to say when the police left all our friendly neighbours came back over to us to tell us about their interviews with the police and to get the gossip from us and to express their support to us, and to condemn the "snake in the grass" living among us, and the for wasting the police time.

Although we had done nothing wrong, we now feel like criminals, and losing sleep worrying. Not to mention being gossiped about by our neighbours, even though all our kids play together in the street.

We are really angry at being falsely accused of something, a 3 year old cannot legally create a disturbance, can they? also angry at being told it was a closed matter, when then the next day they came back to interrogate our friends and neighbours. Can I complain for harassment and intimidation, or for defamation and libel?

I am now walking on broken glass every time my kids throw a tantrum and fearful of another public complaint or visit by the police and/or social services.

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcomed please.

i thought MN was an advice and discussion forum, but there appear to be many bullies and trolls here, but hey karma will get those types and will reward nicies ;-)

Hmmmm, what makes you think they will "suffer in silence". They've already reported you. To report this as a noise disturbance it must have been pretty loud, over and above a normal crying fit. Your danger is you are so wrapped up in your children you can't see the wood for the trees and are probably the parent that doesn't care how much disturbance and annoyance your little darlings cause. It will come back and bite you.

I think you will eventually discover that your child's 'wellbeing' would be better served by the provision of appropriate boundaries.

Oh, OK, a noise disturbance.

Well, I wonder how noisy your kids wree all day?

But again, nothing has come of it. You don't know who complained, try and make sure your 6 yo does understand about keeping it down sometimes - 'indoor voice' 'talking voice' etc - 6 year olds can and do learn not to shout the WHOLE time - how do you think schools cope?

Be friendly and communicative with all your neighbours. If you kids have been noisy, mention it in a low key way 'sorry if the kids disturbed you yesterday - they were out in the garden - just let us know if it gets too bad' sort of thing.

You can't live your life feeling embattle and harbouring suspicions about the neighbours.

Nothing happened - onwards and upwards.

My child is only allowed those tantrums during sociable hours. I'm thinking WTF and I'm PMSL all at the same time. What an incredibly stupid thing to say

There's nothing wrong with a later bedtime, in fact it's the norm for a lot of families over the summer months on non school nights. My DD3 creates at bedtime regardless of the time so the poster who assumed the tantrum was due to tiredness, well you have no idea if that's the case or not.

And the posters saying or implying that it's copied behaviour, again WTF! Then again I thought that before I had children but two of my DC are not quiet and calm and reasonable like I am and like DD2 is. Two of my DC have absolutely made enough noise for someone to think they're being murdered just because I said no to something. There are times when I would happily have handed them over to the police if someone had called them thinking that the DC were in some way being harmed

FWIW I agree that it's fine for a neighbour to phone the police if they're concerned and I think the OP hasn't come across very well but some of the comments on this thread have made me and

BitOutOfPractice...imagine indeed.

I would brandish my walking stick and false teeth at them. Hah!

Yep. What Walter said

PaulAnthony. There is no need to defend your DC. Nobody is criticizing them. We all know three year old can have the most ridiculous over the top tantrums. It's just the way they are. My eldest is 22 but I still remember the No, I want the green shorts not the blue shorts three year old tantrum like it was yeasterday

Look at THIS CURRENT THREAD for examples about silly toddler tantrums.

I think posters are more bothered about your claims of being harassed and falsely accused not that your kids had a screaming tantrum.

If you're as arrogant and self-righteous in real life as you are on this thread, no wonder the neighbour didn't want to come to your door. And I bet it's not the "old" woman. I think it's someone who knows you better, and who has genuine worries.

Its posted under legal matters, because the police deal with legal/illegal matters,
You dont have a "noisy neiighbour/screaming kid" section
:-)

all my life is spent around my children's lives

You might want to get out more, love

I think walter has nailed it. has to be a wind-up. Nobody can be a socially impervious as this. I hope.

On the off chance OP is actually genuine - ever considered giving those poor children of yours a bit of space to maybe just have fun, rather than constantly nurturing them and taking them on educational trips? There isn't a badge for competitive parenting.

Oh - and when you tell people about a perceived injustice face-to-face, they normally do tell you they agree with you. You can't be sure they "genuinely" feel anything for you. If your posts here are anything to go by they might very well think you are a bit obsessive.

OP, I am generally with you, as I have been where you are. You are clearly still angry and understandably so.

However, you cannot simply say that the complainant must suffer in silence.

Your children are 3 years old and 7 months old (not sure where others get the idea of a 6 year old from). At that age they are below the age of legal responsibility. You as the parent are responsible for controlling their behaviour though, including noise nuisance.

Of course all children make noise, but they do have to start learning from a fairly early age that there is a time and a place. A 7 month old is probably not yet fully capable of this and many of that age do still cry in the night, but a 3 year old should be beginning to learn.

The bedtimes you describe are a little late, but I can't say that I never did it as a one-off after we had been out somewhere when mine were that age.

I think you are all being a bit over the top

My three year old was a screamer. The only think I could do was ignore it. What else should op do? How to 'train?' The odd thump?

The OP said his children were 3 and 6 in an earlier post

Your children are 3 years old and 7 months old (not sure where others get the idea of a 6 year old from)

3 years AND 7 months is the age of the youngest child Topsey. We 'got the idea of a 6 year old' from OP's own post telling us his oldest child was 6. HTH

How to 'train?' The odd thump?

Who suggested that!?

Whatever stops your child walloping other children or running into traffic can surely be used to stop screaming from over 3s?

one is 6 years+8months old the other is 3 years+7 months old

Well clearly we made up the idea of a 6 year old

Anyway. I take it all back.

These are award winning, letter writing, non tv watching, educational day out having, no junk food children with parents who's whole life revolve around them and every waking minute is spent making sure they are educated.

Fuck me, i would be screaming as well.

thumping kids is illegal and an appalling thing to even joke about

i thought MN was an advice and discussion forum,

But you don't want advice or discussion, especially not discussion. You want people to agree with you and throw their hands up in horror.

OP what did you mean when you said you like to party? Does that mean more noise for your neighbours?

basgetti he can't help partying, he's 'young and vibrant' apparently

He likes to party educationally, with his children, eating carrot sticks and quoting Aristotle to each other.

So I don't think it'll be anything too wild.