Ex keeps sending solicitors letters attacking me personally

[Joy5]

I'm due in the family court early next year regarding the finances, just can't afford any more legal fees, i earn a fifth of what my ex does, which is probably why he can afford to send so many legal letters.

Up to now, i asked her to stop representing me last week, my solicitor has 'shielded' me from some of the letters, the ones just attacking me personally, calling me names. Unless they've contained something to do with sorting our finances i havn't seen them.

After my ex was told i'm representing myself last week, i received a letter direct to myself from his solicitor, just attacking me and criticising me as a Mum.

Is there anything i can to do stop this? No matter how hard I try they do upset me, i can't stop myself worrying about them, i'm studying too as well as working, i need to stay focused. Its bad enough my ex has filed court papers, without also having the power to send solicitor's letters just attacking me.

Earlier this year, my solicitor received 12 letters from my ex's solicitor in less then 14 days, most of them attacking me personally. I'm concerned now i'm self represented the scale of the letters will just increase.

Any advice gratefully received.

LizaTarBucksAuntie
You're right about just because he says its doesn't mean it true. Just forget sometimes, them i'm angry at myself!

Absolutely don't want a fight, my ex ended the marriage, and ever since hes been trying to make me pay, but i won't play silly games. Think i've got the ultimate revenge by self rep though, let him pay his legal bills yet again, from exchanging finances twice before i know hes already spent thousands on legal bills, once he was even paying 2 solicitors at the same time. Just don't understand what hes getting out of it.

Thanks for sharing your positive story too, makes me feel so much better knowing others have done the same and it work out well.

My Dh had all of this from his ex-wifes solicitor. At first his solicitor used to respond painstakingly point by point. Cost us thousands. Then we changed solicitor and the new one wrote back each time to say. " I have received your letter dated xxxx. I note what you say with interest. " and signed it. You can easily do this for nothing! The court won't be interested in his unsubstantiated nonsense. Good luck to you

Joy5 - yes kill them with kindness.

"Kindly, could you advise/clarify/confirm....."

"Kindly, could you supply me with evidence that twatty-arse is accusing me of a b c for my correspondence file"

"Kindly be advised ....."

Don't forget to thank them for the letter, as an opener!

Or, for a different tack, reply on "Hello Kitty" etc type writing paper, and doing little smiley faces over the i's.

Deepfriedsage - Are you serious? "These people must not have religious faith to behave as they do"

Were you being facetious? Religious faith has no correlation with acting like a decent human being. Some of the most unpleasant, unscrupulous people I know, including family members, hide behind their facade of religious faith.

It must be remembered that solicitors work for their clients - after all, it's how they make their money.

Complaining to the SRA or Resolution, etc. is generally a complete waste of time and it's times like this that words about solicitors being regulated and qualified professional can ring hollow.

I would advise you to file all letters and ignore them if they don't have any relevance to your case. Solicitors are obliged to help you as you are a LIP - obliged not to bully, misrepresent, intimidate, etc. but it does happen. Furthermore raising this with the court is very often a complete waste of time too.

Regard their words as an attempt to intimidate and distract you from the real matter in hand - the case. Think about it...if it gets you to cave in they have served their client (your ex) well. They will suggest by inference that you will lose, will incur large costs against you and in extreme that they can even make court orders.

Very often I'm approached (I am a McKenzie Friend) by people who have gone through this sort of thing - and it's happening increasingly commonly - and people often feel very relieved when I can reassure them that 90% of what they'll be sent is just an attempt to bully.

"Lawyers, I suppose, were children once" as the saying goes.

Yes, the ones who were school bullies or pulled the legs off crane flies, in this case.

Isn't this harrassment? Can you keep all the letters and take them to the police? Or at least threaten to do so.

Cue the solicitor jokes...

Not sure the police would want to do anything about solicitors letters, and don't want to do anything that might upset my two youngest sons. My ex works in a school also, so involving the police might have an impact on that, and as he needs the job to pay our morgage, might backfire on us a bit.

I've em my ex this morning and told him i'm self rep, and he needs to inform his solicitor, and this afternoon i've posted my own letter to his solicitor telling him myself. Guess i'll now get a letter from the solicitor thanking me for my letter, so might feel the need to reply thanking him for his thank you letter.

I know i'm getting better when i start laughing at my own jokes! :)

I used to get upset by the letters my ex's solicitors sent me.

Then one day it dawned on me: It was the same rubbish she always spouted, albeit with a lovely letterhead and Resolution logo...and costing her a lot of money.

She'd have been better off just abusing me like she always had.

Well put lostdad I will remember that. But my ex doesn't have to pay for his.
It is the only way through joy if I can keep that head on I am ok.

Oh and joy I did get a thank you for a thank you letter and they are using public funds