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Original poster

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP

31 replies

topdad1976 · 12/10/2011 20:19

Hi, going to be a bit of a long post but please bear with me. In a nutshell, can I stop my (separated from) wife taking my daughter to Switzerland???? Question 2 if the answer of Q1 is no, what are my chances of winning custody of my daughter? she looked after her for 7 months of her maternity leave then I was her full time carer for over a year and a half which I quit my (good) job to do. She left me (I did nothing wrong, didnt even see it comming) and took custody of my girl (now just turned 3). She put her full time in nursery as her career was more important, then relocated about 3 hours away. I moved my life to where she is now living to be close to my daughter but now she wants to move to Switzerland. I cant bear to be far from my little girl hence why I moved in the first place. I hope it doesnt come to a custody battle but what are the chances of winning as a father when in most cases a mother seems to be given priority? Please help.

OP posts:

Bucharest · 14/10/2011 08:23

Just because you've got a vagina, doesn't make you the better parent.

cestlavielife · 14/10/2011 10:53

the nursery etc is irrelevant now really -current status is dad sees dd during week and alt weekends (if i go that right) so good contact.
he says they get on ok.

she has been headhunted for fab job in switx - what contact does she propose if she moves there?
will she pay dad's costs of travela and accomodation there?
will she be happy for dd to fly to uk to visit dad (eg with an au pair or ?)

if she does not take the job what happens to her job in UK? does she still have one?

if she can show contact will hardly change then court would agree for dd to go with her.
if she cant -as is likely because how iwll dad go out to visit during week?? then who knows.

what if dad offers to have dd reside in uk with him and mum comes to visit ? as she will be able to afford to do so? and she is the one choosing to go for this job?

and mum has whatever holidays with dd?

Tyr · 14/10/2011 14:30

OP,

It is unlikely you will get agreement unless you are prepared to give up a substantial part of the child's relationship with you. There is no halfway in a relocation case- either the child goes or stays.
There has been a shift in emphasis recently in how the courts deal with relocation. The history of what ammounts to shared care in your case means that the courts should be more reluctant to grant her request, no matter how much money is in it for her.
If you have to take the legal route, you apply for a P.S.O, preventing the removal of the child and a SRO which will help confirm the situation on the ground.

Original poster

topdad1976 · 27/10/2011 10:55

OK bit of an update and a few responses. I don't have anything against nursery at all, I think children flourish in other children's company and that was one of the reasons I used to attend 8 toddler groups a week. The point I was making was that she wasn't prioritising our child where as I was and I think that should count for something. She is very career focused and this move would give her a perfect life from her point of view, unfortunately at my expense. The move is purely for career, she has no family or friends there, it would be a new start but with more money and a promotion. I probably did come across as a bit shitty but I wrote the original post a couple of hours after the news being given to me so was desperate and upset. I know its easy to say but I'm not a terrible monster, we separated because she fell out of love with me, no other reason, I got on with all the mums at all the toddler groups and as for aggressive, I loose my temper about once a year! Thanks for the help and advice, I've been in contact with a few people and now know where I stand, as for personal abuse, everyone is entitled to their opinions and it's hard to know the full ins and outs from a few words and responses so fair enough, I'm sure I've done the same before. I had a good talk with my ex, she is making her decision but is leaning towards staying here now she's seen my side of the deal (plus a lot of pressure from friends and family). I wanted all this info so I know where I stand in case I loose my daughter, I know where I stand morally and now I know where I am legally, just need to wait and see what happens. Thanks again for your help x

OP posts:

Bucharest · 27/10/2011 11:36

Hope everything works out for the best topdad.

Thanks for coming back.

Riakin · 27/10/2011 12:51

Hi...

Please post this issue on www.dadtalk.co.uk under the Legal Eagle Forums..

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