Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Contact - father has failed to return my DS today

170 replies

mumofthreesweeties · 27/08/2010 17:30

Dear All,

I urgently need some help please. My DS was supposed to be returned today from two weeks at his fathers but I have tried ringing him, texting him but no reply. I have been waiting all day for him to return him or contact me to say things had changed. There is some history to this but surely he cant just decide to do this. I know my son will be upset about this as he has football practise tomorrow and he was eager to join the league which he will now miss so I know he will be upset about that too. We were married and are now divorced. Please can you let me know what I can do about this, can I call the police at all or have to go to court. Are there any open over the weekend. God I am so stressed.

Thank you for reading

OP posts:
Original poster
mumofthreesweeties · 28/08/2010 16:21

Thank you all, unfortunately I dont think going to his house will serve any purpose as he will just ignore him. Re the contact issue I never ever stopped him from seeing our DS, he chose not to come and pick him up. The idea of showing him the texts from my DS is a brilliant one, but sadly I reckon that he will then insist that I have pressured him to send me the text and my DS will unfortunately get caught up in it. The best route will have to be the legal one on Tuesday, and to top it all I do not qualify for legal aid. I am just outside the threshold by £200 :( so that's another worry, but I will pay anything to have my DS home where he belongs and wants to be. I just cried my heart out when he text me saying that 'I am going to be brave mum and tell dad I want to come home.' My DS who is 5 ended up comforting me (poor thing). My DS 11 is just such a quiet, polite boy who is also incredibly naive. His father made the holiday as fabulous as possible for him, bought him gadgets etc to entice him to stay. I feel that that is emotional blackmail, how can one be concerned about his child's well being by uprooting him from the home life he is used to under the disguise of two weeks holiday. I am just so angry and also in shock.

I wish he was reasonable enough to see sense if I showed him the texts but he will use that as further ammunition to back up his claims that my affection for my son is fake because we constantly chatted on Yahoo messenger. Apparently that is fake and it is me trying to be a cool mum who has fake affection for my DS. WTF

OP posts:
mumoverseas · 28/08/2010 17:11

Jaybird, I have to beg to differ on lots of firms of solicitors working over the weekend. Criminal/duty solicitors do but not family lawyers which is what the OP needs.

STIDW · 28/08/2010 17:26

Try not to worry too much. Courts take a dim view of parents unilaterally changing the status quo and upsetting children.

Even a solicitor can't do very much over the weekend. In an emergency it's possible to apply to court when they open and get a short ex-parte hearing (with only you and your solicitor, assuming you have one, present) the same day. You may well find your son is back home to start school on Friday.

mumoverseas · 28/08/2010 17:32

I'm glad I'm not the only one still calling it ex-parte. We are showing our age Wink
Fingers crossed for you mumofthreesweeties that you get your DS back asap. Presumably your ex is due to go back to work on Tuesday so hopefully he will have to return him then?

I think even if he does return him, you should consider a Residence Order just in case of any future silly buggers on his part

ElsieMc · 28/08/2010 17:42

Contact the nearest court on Monday for an emergency application. You dont need a solicitor - the court staff cannot advise you but may assist you with form filling. You will still have to pay a court fee.

Just keep it brief, giving info about him not returning within the agreed time, your son's need to recommence school on the correct date and his texts asking to return home.

Once you have this, you must apply for a residence order. I'm so sorry you have learned the hard way.

Good luck to you. Please keep us posted.

babybarrister · 28/08/2010 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mumofthreesweeties · 28/08/2010 22:20

Thank you all for your support. Babybarrister thank you for that, I will certainly contact the High Court tomorrow and find out if litigants can use that route, if not then will just have to wait until Tuesday. Elsie, I am so worried about doing it myself but I will just have to. I do hope there is an out of hours judge accessible. This is really nerve wrecking. I really should have listened to my mothers as instinct as I was adamant he shouldn't go. Anyway you live and learn, I guess the reason it has happened is to sort things out once and for all. I will keep you posted tomorrow

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 29/08/2010 00:05

I know of two other people this has happened to at a bank holiday - one was christmas and the nrp refused to return the three dc, it was the day afer boxing day before anything could be done as she didn't bring them back on Christams eve - the RP parent did sort this out and it was done.

smallwhitecat · 29/08/2010 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Needanewname · 29/08/2010 18:36

How are things today?

Original poster
mumofthreesweeties · 29/08/2010 20:01

Hi all, thank you for checking up on me. I am in court on Tuesday. Received a call from the out of hours judge who will be expecting me on Tuesday. Bank holiday has never seemed so long. I am busy getting things ready so if I dont check in tomorrow, rest assured that I will keep you posted on Tuesday evening. Thank you once again for the support and useful advice

OP posts:
Aminata100 · 29/08/2010 20:39

I really feel for you!! And DS!

OMG, my ex threatened this, and he is (lives)abroad!!

Hope DS is back on Wednesday!!

Gay40 · 29/08/2010 20:45

I've no advice to give that can better what's already been said, but hopefully your boy will be back with you soon x

ilovesprouts · 29/08/2010 20:45

hope you get your son back x

marriednotdead · 29/08/2010 22:00

My ex threatened this many years ago so I can sympathise with your anguish Sad
Good luck for Tuesday.

LadyBiscuit · 29/08/2010 22:04

Oh gosh - have no words of wisdom but wanted to send you another message of support. What a hideous situation. Really hope the judge is able to sort it out asap on Tuesday

PixieOnaLeaf · 29/08/2010 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PixieOnaLeaf · 29/08/2010 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

invisibleink · 29/08/2010 22:24

Addin my support and best wishes for Tuesday.

RunawayWife · 29/08/2010 22:44

Hope you get this sorted out.

If it were me I have some very big friends I would send round to retrieve my child.

The way some parents behave never fails to sicken amaze me

StewieGriffinsMom · 29/08/2010 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

proudmummyof1 · 29/08/2010 22:49

I've not got any more advice, but can sympathise as something similar happened to me so sending a big hug. I got an emergency residency order and can now relax a bit as i know that theres somthing I can do if it happens again, my ex got a real fright when the courts became involved so I dont think he'll be so stupid again! Good luck to you on Tuesday

MrsRhettButler · 29/08/2010 22:56

just adding my support and best wishes for tuesday x

Original poster
mumofthreesweeties · 29/08/2010 23:53

Thank you all, really appreciate it..

OP posts:
Aitch · 30/08/2010 00:06

wishing you all the best for Tuesday, peace to you until then.