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Larger families

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Original poster

Why do people have a third child?

129 replies

clemette · 12/01/2009 20:36

Today at toddler group I was talking about how broody I am feeling at the moment. One of the other mums piped up "everyone I know who has had three wishes they had stuck at two". I can't believe this is universally true!
But what motivates people to have a third child? What are the pros and cons??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

xfabba · 14/01/2009 10:24

Sazizi yes that is exactly what I meant - seems too neat and tidy nuclear family with

xfabba · 14/01/2009 10:24

2 only!

mollymarthawilf · 14/01/2009 11:04

I have really enjoyed reading the responses as I had posted one yesterday about having two children and wanting another and my husband happy with two.

I agree with some of the other writers about having two and then feeling that they had not finished yet.

Hubbie wants to go and have 'the chop' but I am reluctant to. Only 36 and can still see having another baby.

Equally can see the challenges of the baby phase but know that it does not last for ever and that it is an ever changing picture.

My oldest wants a baby girl, she currently has a baby brother (which she was ecstatic about!). Not sure we would be this lucky this time (!!) and twins run in the family so would have to be prepared to go for 2 to 4 children in one go!

What do others think?

juuule · 14/01/2009 11:07

"What do others think"

You are on a larger families thread. I think I could guess what others think

mollymarthawilf · 14/01/2009 11:11

Thanks for pointing that out!

nomoreamover · 14/01/2009 11:32

I keep looking in the back seat of the car and thinking there is a child missing....my DH thinks I am wierd but it is true that I sort of feel there is someone missing!

Clarissimo · 14/01/2009 11:35

I never wished I stuck at 2, odd lasy.

When ds3 was born I had a massive sense of missing Sebastian.... the name was very definitely Sebastian. Sebastian was born 4 years later, last April.

I always wanted 4; two never seemed to have the big familoy chaos factor I craved, and I didnt want 3 because of my eprsonal experince of being in a family of 3 girls. It has to fit what you feel comfortable with.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 14/01/2009 11:40

My mum had a third child because her pill failed.

My sister because she used no contraception and although her latest child wasn't planned as such, she wasn't against the idea of having another

angrypixie · 14/01/2009 13:38

Clarissimo, I SO know what you mean. I have a daughter missing (and I already have a girl so it's not for want of a girl) I know her name and am sure she's supposed to join my 3dc. However, dh thinks we're done

pagwatch · 14/01/2009 13:50

We always wanted three or four.
When Ds 2 developed severe autism I reallythought we would have to stop at two in order to meet his needs.
Time passed and we just still didn't feel right.
Eventually when DS2 was 6 we decided to try again for six months and if nothing happened we would call it quits and finish at two.

I was pregnant literally within two weeks . We had DD who is now 6.

Absoloutely the best decision we ever made. We are done. Our family feels perfect.
Had we stopped at two I think we would have always felt something was missing

NotADragonOfSoup · 14/01/2009 14:31

I was an accidental third My mum says her family immediately felt complete where it hadn't before. Isn't it odd how so many "miss" children who didn't/don't exist?

mollymarthawilf · 14/01/2009 14:50

I agree with this feeling that there is something missing. But am convinced that the next time I would have twins.
I guessed right both of my other pregnancies about the birth and weights etc. Just know it would be twins.
My husband goes grey at the thought!

Clarissimo · 14/01/2009 15:54

DH was massively against 4 for years, because two of ours have a possibly genetic condition (asd). Then suddenly (and I still don't know why) he changed his mind. You never know!

OrmIrian · 14/01/2009 15:56

Accident.

Clarissimo · 14/01/2009 15:58

But very lovely accidents....

(Haven't forgotten cot offer, bloody car still in garage 2 weeks later! Damn you, king of Head Gaskets!)

Koumak · 14/01/2009 16:01

god i so agree!

Koumak · 14/01/2009 16:11

I only have one so far although about to start working on number 2... Number 1 was complete accident but it was the best thing that happened to us! Hubby only wants 2 but I keep thinking that if the second one is boy as well then he cannot object to third?

OrmIrian · 14/01/2009 16:12

Ahh peachy!

DH can't find the cot! It's one that comes apart and fold up and we've turned the place upside down looking for it. I have a horrible feeling that it might have gone to someone else and I'd forgotten. I am so so sorry

Clarissimo · 14/01/2009 16:14

LOL no that's fine, not a problem at all- MP offered one and DH is going on about a new car () so if he can manage that he can bloody well manage a cot LOL!

Thank you for the offer though, most appreciated.

OrmIrian · 14/01/2009 16:16

phew! Thankyou

I was feeling very bad about it. Note to self: engage brain before offering things to people.

claireybrations · 14/01/2009 16:22

Oh I'm jealous! I really really want another (well actually I've always wanted 4 but would settle for 3) but dh says no

It hurts deep inside to think I might not have a third. So that's why I would.

PinkTulips · 14/01/2009 16:27

well, don't know how i'll feel in a few weeks when dc3 is actually here but right now my reasons for having a third were that 2 just didn't seem to be a complete family for me.... i love them both to bits but felt that another child would make my family whole iyswim.

random · 14/01/2009 16:28

Accident but love having 3

HTNM · 15/01/2009 12:01

Have 3 yr old and 4 mth old. Back to work full time shortly. Feel v positive about return to career but am also really enjoying enlarged family. Always thought we wld stop at 2 but now we wouldn't mind going for three. Wld have 3rd when first starts school ideally. Slightly concerned about finances but eldest would go to good state school and this means no longer paying mortgage-level nursery fees. Would prob want to have small career break or go back to work part time when eldest starts school anyway. Any views on financial implications and abilty to work with three? Also, feel that I might be greedy! I thank my lucky stars that in late thirties I have two healthy kids and easy conception and pregnancies. Views?

And finally - I also feel guilty about third set if mat leave from same employer. This mat leave and last I took seven months out. Again advice or experiences to share?

BananaSkin · 23/01/2009 21:39

It has changed the dynamic of our family for the better. We meant to have two, but still felt broody. I love the feeling of a gaggle of little boys.

I can't say I found the pregnancy or sleep deprivation easy though.

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