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Original poster

Why do people have a third child?

129 replies

clemette · 12/01/2009 20:36

Today at toddler group I was talking about how broody I am feeling at the moment. One of the other mums piped up "everyone I know who has had three wishes they had stuck at two". I can't believe this is universally true!
But what motivates people to have a third child? What are the pros and cons??

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RiaParkinson · 13/01/2009 21:41

oh no! just the thought of 3 sweeties!

luckywinner · 13/01/2009 21:42

Thats interesting to hear what the op said as it is my fear. I really absolutely love the idea of three but am so worried I would upset the dynamic of my ds and dd that I am almost certain that thats it for me, purely because of fearing that I would regret it.

Does adding another one disturb the relationship of the other two do you think because that's another thing I worry about. But I really would like another one.....anyone want to soothe my worries before I put the rest of my baby and maternity stuff on ebay!

angelcat3 · 13/01/2009 21:48

I knew after having my second child that I wanted a third. I just wouldn't have felt complete somehow. I know have three gorgeous kids - two girls and a boy. The jump from 2 to 3 was definitely easier than the jump from 1 to 2.

cutekids · 13/01/2009 21:50

here,here! angelcat!

angelcat3 · 13/01/2009 21:51

Luckywinner - just wanted to say that having my third didn't affect the balance between ds and dd1. They both adore dd2 and love playing with her (although dd1 does play a little too vigorously with her)!! I don't believe they felt threatened by her arrival at all. They just enjoy having another little playmate.

muppetgirl · 13/01/2009 21:52

I just felt one of us was missing....
I had a mc and maybe I'm pining after my missed one?

Am prgt with no 3 and do have worries about upsetting the dynamic. Dh is one of 3 and so am I he's not close to his siblings at all (2 girls) and I am close to mine (2 boys)
Ds 1 was so desperate for brothers and sisters and absolutely LOVES his brother so we felt he would love another (he wants 5 'kids' and is willing to share his room...)

cutekids · 13/01/2009 21:52

OH!and if it's a case of love...and not being able to share it aroun, You'll have a different type of love for them all...you've probably realized that already.But,you still love them....for all their own little bits of personality etc....You might not believe that in the first year or so...but,believe it,they are all gorgeous and special in their own special way...even the rebellious one!!!!!

cutekids · 13/01/2009 21:54

and there's gotta be a rebellious one...just to keep us on our toes !!!

muppetgirl · 13/01/2009 21:55

cutekids -I totally agree, ds 2 is totally different from ds 1 and I love that they are very individual.

cutekids · 13/01/2009 22:06

Muppetgirl...should we start a thread on the "rebellious one"?!!!!!

cutekids · 13/01/2009 22:08

btw,i'm an only child so probably coming to this from a completely different angle again.

Goober · 13/01/2009 22:10

I needed my 3rd child. He was the itch that I couldn't scratch. The day I had him I knew he was enough. I have never been broody since.

sleepycat · 13/01/2009 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

luckywinner · 13/01/2009 22:30

angelcat, its really good to hear that. I think my ds would absolutely love it as he is baby obsessed which is very lovely to see and almost enough of an incentive for me to have a third. My dh is not so sure. We are both one of three, mine a brilliant experience and I love having two siblings, he argued with his brothers all the time and they are still so competitive so I feel he is not keen on a third.

Someone said that 2 seemed too normal, I agree, to me it seems to neat. I like the idea of the chaos of 3, and this is coming from a slightly obsessive controlling type personality!

Now all I can think is I want 3.

GrimbleTheResourceful · 13/01/2009 22:39

I just can't bear symmetry and even numbers.

It was either another baby or DP had to go.

cheesesarnie · 13/01/2009 22:40

i think number 3 was easiest baby!.

GrimbleTheResourceful · 13/01/2009 22:46

oh yes, without a doubt.

he's my lemon-squeezy darlin.

chipmonkey · 14/01/2009 00:02

I was trying for a girl!
And had ds3...... and 3 years later ds4!
That'll learn me.

chipmonkey · 14/01/2009 00:03

My ds3 is the most stubborn little git darling imaginable! Luckily ds4 is an angel!

JodieO · 14/01/2009 00:06

I have 3 and there is no way on earth I would ever wish I had stuck at 2.

xfabba · 14/01/2009 00:07

I currently have 2 but plan to try for a third later this year. 2 just doesnt seem quite enough to me for a complete family (tho wouldnt be devastated if it doesnt happen) We both come from famillies of 4 so maybe that is why 2 doesnt quite seem complete to us - but I plan to stop there for financial reasons!

I know a lot of people that stopped at 2 when they got one of each gender but, to me, family life seems a bit dold, or distant (no offense) - doesnt seem to be enough of the chaos and hustle and bustle that I associate with famillies - plus the brother and sister oftne dont seem to have that much to do with each other and I would like my children to be close. Possibly they are more sensible than me though ....

JodieO · 14/01/2009 00:11

I had a daughter then 2 sons, my daughter and first son are very close and love to spend time with each other. Ds2 looks up to ds1 but dd dotes on him and so they all get on lovely.

Sazisi · 14/01/2009 00:17

No offence but I felt 2 was just too 'neat and tidy' and sensible for us, personally.
And I can't imagine life without our DD3. She's magical

mistressmabel · 14/01/2009 00:28

I desperatley wanted one and was very broody. How can anyone regret it?

ibblewob · 14/01/2009 00:38

Err.. in answer to the OP, because DH and I are rubbish at contraception

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