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Original poster

Why do people have a third child?

129 replies

clemette · 12/01/2009 20:36

Today at toddler group I was talking about how broody I am feeling at the moment. One of the other mums piped up "everyone I know who has had three wishes they had stuck at two". I can't believe this is universally true!
But what motivates people to have a third child? What are the pros and cons??

OP posts:
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dizzydixies · 12/01/2009 21:31

brilliant, am not close enough to be near the festival to offer you room on the floors but I'm up for heading down to meet up for the day

Lilyloo · 12/01/2009 21:33

i one of 3 dp one of 4
Clem i had hard , easy , hard but as the first two get older it's role reversal!

FAQtothefuture · 12/01/2009 21:33

sounds good

Once I've moved and got my finances resorted - as it's all going to change again with me starting to get HB and whatnot, going to sit down and see if I can manage it - may try and fly up............bus was ok - but pretty stressfulon my own with all 3 of them, and DS3 will be a nightmare for that long I think at his age LOL. Then I'll ring my old headteacher (who is also a family friend) and see if he's got anyone staying in the bedrooms in his attic.......

dizzydixies · 12/01/2009 21:35

just remind me nearer the time, you know what I'm like

FAQtothefuture · 12/01/2009 21:36

I will

Fennel · 12/01/2009 21:37

I wanted 3, and had 3, and on occasion, especially in the early days, have wished I'd stopped at 0 or 2, and sometimes I still look wistfully at people with one swanning off in that carefree way on exciting adventurous holidays.

But generally we had 3 cos 2 seemed a bit neat and tidy, it didn't seem enoug. we are both from 3 child families and 2 children seemed a bit on the small side. And I do like the bustle of having lots of people around, lots of activity and interaction.

And maybe the best thing is how much everyone in our family likes dd3, I do like seeing all 3 playing together for hours. It made the rather intense sibling dynamic between my first two much better, I think, it diffused the direct competition and arguments, it calmed things down in that way.

AbricotsSecs · 12/01/2009 21:37

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dizzydixies · 12/01/2009 21:38

Hoochie, did you get a buy one get one free deal

Thomcat · 12/01/2009 21:39

I had 3 for a couple of reasons.

A) I always quite fancied having 3. Having 3 felt right, I liked the odd number thing.

B) DD1 was born with Sn's. After I had DD2 I wanted a 3rd child so that DD2 wouldn't grow up and sometimes feel a bit alone, so that as an adult she'd have another NT (nurologically typical) sibling to check in on DD1 with, share the burden of elderly parents with, have someone to share things with other than a older sister who in many ways is years younger than her , and so on.

C) My girls are so beautiful and amazing I wanted to see who was next! I feel so utterly blessed to have such amazing girls, all so different I half fancy keeping going to see who else is there!

kayzr · 12/01/2009 21:40

Thats how I'll get round DH. I'll have DC4 with DC3.

I wish though, I've always wanted twins!!

changer22 · 12/01/2009 21:41

Go for it TC - the more the merrier!

delightedoldbag34 · 12/01/2009 21:42

As someone said earlier 'there was someone missing' from our family - I could feel it. Very odd. Now he's on his way and we can't wait to meet him. We think he (number 3 child) will be the last, but you never know........

AbricotsSecs · 12/01/2009 21:45

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SilentTerror · 13/01/2009 11:37

I too always felt 'someone mssing' when we had 3.
I had 6 yrs between Dc3 and DC4,everyone (except me) thought we had finished.
Great shock(especially to DH) when we were having no 4
Am perfectly content now,have 3 girls and 1 boy which was what I wanted

Poledra · 13/01/2009 11:49

I only wanted 2. Then I was sad at not having a baby or being pg again, and I had a feeling DH wsa hankering after a boy (had 2 DDs). So we talked about it, made sure he would not be disappointed if we had DD3, discussed the finances etc and decided to go for it and DD3 born in July last year. No regrets, DH reckons you don't need a boy if you've got our DD2. Would have possibly considered another but am 38 years old and DD3 was in a SCBU for a week after she was born with a condition which is likely to affect any other children we have (DD3 is fully recovered, BTW). I am not strong enough to do that again, especially when we are already blessed with our 3 beautiful daughters (can say that as they are either at school, playschool or asleep ).

NotADragonOfSoup · 13/01/2009 11:52

I didn't realise there was someone missing from my family until she was here but looking at the photos before having her and after, there is definitely a BabyDragon sized gap in the "before" photos.

RiaParkinson · 13/01/2009 17:46

bloody hell notadragon you know how to make a woman get goose bumps

Original poster
clemette · 13/01/2009 19:18

Thanks for all of your replies. My hormonal rush continues but I might try to ride it out just to be sure.

OP posts:
newpup · 13/01/2009 20:08

Hello. I am currently agonising over whether to go for a third! My DDs are 9 and 7. DH is happy to stop at two but would like another. I love the fact we can take the girls on fab holidays, been to Florida and New York in the last 8 months and just booked a week in the caribbean in the spring.
We can go away without them for a weekend now they are older and love just deciding to go to the cinema or out for a meal with them.

I would love another but not sure if I want to go back to the baby stage again and lose the family freedom, we enjoy now.

I am 34 so need to decide in the near future, really. Made the decision a long time ago that however many I have by 35, will be the number I stick too!

Really, really do not know whether to go for it. I am one of 3, so grew up in a larger family which had its ups and downs!

I actually lose sleep at the moment over this!

Squirdle · 13/01/2009 21:07

We had 3 becuase of the 9 yr age gap between DS1 and DS2. When DS2 was a baby we could already see the adoration for his brother and felt that when DS1 went off to uni at 18 (which he will ) DS2 might have really felt it. Hence DS3 came along 2 years after DS2 (to the day). DS2 and DS3 are soooo close and we couldn't wish for a better relationship for them. They both adore their big brother too.

DS3 is now 4 and I do think my baby days are behind me. I have completely rid myself of the broodiness, but it has faded quite a lot. It does make me sad that my baby is 4 though.

NotADragonOfSoup · 13/01/2009 21:23

Are they good goosebumps or bad ones, Ria...??

RiaParkinson · 13/01/2009 21:26

good ones - weepy soppy ones!

cutekids · 13/01/2009 21:27

haven't read the rest of this thread...but i'm so chuffed I had 3.I do everything in 3's anyway and it makes it less even than having 2!!!!!! Plus...I knew I was having a girl first time round;a boy second time round and when the third one was on her way,for some reason,they weren't allowed to tell me....and it was great just wondering what sex I was going to get and it didn't matter anyway cos I'd had experience of both!!!!

KerryMumbles · 13/01/2009 21:28

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotADragonOfSoup · 13/01/2009 21:35

Thought you might be getting goosebumps at the thought of a shadowy BabyDragon spectre appearing in all my old photos