Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Larger families

Find out all about large family cars, holidays and more right here.

Original poster

Why do people have a third child?

129 replies

clemette · 12/01/2009 20:36

Today at toddler group I was talking about how broody I am feeling at the moment. One of the other mums piped up "everyone I know who has had three wishes they had stuck at two". I can't believe this is universally true!
But what motivates people to have a third child? What are the pros and cons??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
FAQtothefuture · 12/01/2009 20:38

ermm - I had a 3rd child because the MAP failed

Wouldn't change him for the world, and I honestly found the jump from 2/3 a doddle in comparison to 1/2

CarGirl · 12/01/2009 20:38

Not sure, because I just enjoyed my 2nd so much I wanted to do it again, and it wasn't until I had my 4th that the overwhelming broodiness vanished.

scorpio1 · 12/01/2009 20:38

What an odd thing for your friend to say IMO

I have three and love every second, really i do. No cons at all. I love seeing 3 little faces - all mine!

tumtumtetum · 12/01/2009 20:38

Most of my friends have 3 - it seems to be the thing to do at the moment! They were all planned as well - no twins or accidents. I think they simply thought why stop if they were coping with 2 and could more or less afford another...

Even I am keeping an open mind... number 2 on way at the mo

Lilyloo · 12/01/2009 20:40

not sure what motivated me but find it odd that anyone with 3 would say they wish they had stuck at 2!
pros 3x the love
cons 3x the work

FAQtothefuture · 12/01/2009 20:41

actually I long for a 4th (and perhaps even 5th...........) but not much chance of that happening any time in the foreseeable future.

castille · 12/01/2009 20:41

A very strange thing to say. Everyone I know who has three is very happy with their choice.

I have three and there are so few cons and so many pros that I can't think of a valid reason not to have a third

Joolyjoolyjoo · 12/01/2009 20:42

I always wanted a big noisy family. All 3 were planned (well, no 2 was a bit of a pleasant surprise at the time!) but I always knew I wanted at least 3 (although think that is me now!!) Absolutely no regrets at all!

morocco · 12/01/2009 20:42

don't know anyone who's ever said that, personally

no 3 was a surprise but very very welcome and she is absolutely wonderful

3 is fantastic

juuule · 12/01/2009 20:43

What motivates people to have a first, or a 2nd or a 4th.....?
Odd question.
Do you think it could be that she has taken jokey remarks seriously? Such as when their youngest child is acting up and people with 2 say 'oooh I should have stuck at 1 ' or people with 3 say 'ooooh I should have stuck at 2 ' That type of thing.

'

darlingquent · 12/01/2009 20:43

TBH that sounds like the sort of thing that somebody who is feeling envious and bitter might say.

Milliways · 12/01/2009 20:44

I know of someone who had twins (girls), wanted to try for a third (boy) and had triplet girls!!

SilentTerror · 12/01/2009 20:45

Had 3 and then 4!
Never only wanted two children.Felt so ordinary,somehow.I am one of two though so that is probably why.
Love having four,and people's reactions

changer22 · 12/01/2009 20:45

DH and I always wanted 3 or 4. We had 3 and are now expecting 4.

For me, I want to be a mother more than anything else. I am quite happy to have stopped defining myself through my job. Friends of mine who wanted children but wanted a career too tended to stop at two.

Of course, women do work and have 3 or more children but I think 3 lots of childcare, even after school but certainly during the day, is pretty prohibitive. Add into that, the time needed for play dates, swimming lessons, housework and it gets very hard with more than two.

Milliways · 12/01/2009 20:45

Sorry - got that wrong

She had a Boy, Then triplet girls, then with her third pregnancy was hoping for a boy (so would have 2 of each) but had the triplet girls

pgwithnumber3 · 12/01/2009 20:46

Number 2 and 3 for me were totally and utterly unplanned (DD3 due in 3 weeks). I have just been sitting here with DD2 watching In the Night Garden and DD1 playing on her DS with my arms around them both and did think "oh shit, where will DD3 fit in?" but do you know what, I can't think of anything lovelier. My 3 girls. How fabulous! A lot of people will give their right arm for that. I know I would have done when DH and I were told we were infertile.

juuule · 12/01/2009 20:46

Ohh SilentTerror I thought for a minute you were saying you had triplets and then quads

Octothechildherder · 12/01/2009 20:46

I was at a toddler group before christmas talking to a friend - we both have three boys - and we decided that in christmas cards we would add a few extra names to see if anyone noticed

dizzydixies · 12/01/2009 20:47

I always wanted a big family and had my 3rd DD in July

she is an absolute dream and have found her a much easier baby than DD2 ever was

I just felt I wasn't finished after DD2 and it wasn't longing for a boy as I've always wanted 4 girls

as for that other mum - she's an idiot I love my gang and wouldn't have it any other way

Podrick · 12/01/2009 20:48

Because there is no way you can have a fourth or fifth child without having a third

Nemoandthefishes · 12/01/2009 20:49

I have 3 with no.4 on the way.
DD2[3rd] is a complete monkey and very hard work..however she is also the most loving of the bunch and very very funny.
We had her because we wanted to, I wanted a third and dd1 was 3mths when I got pg with dd2.

RiaParkinson · 12/01/2009 20:49

or 6th or 7th

FAQtothefuture · 12/01/2009 20:50

or 8th or 9th in at least on MNers case

FAQtothefuture · 12/01/2009 20:52

oh I hate these threads - they always make me broody again

BigFurryStripeyTiger · 12/01/2009 20:54

No regrets here, none at all. It's hard work because they are close together- 3under 4- and sometimes I joke to people that I must be mad, but that's me being sarcastic in response to those "you've got your hands full" type comments.

I met someone recently who said when she saw the ages of my children "oh you're one of those". Not sure what that's supposed to mean buit TBH I don't care. We love our family, they bring us no end of joy and we never regret having them, and they were all planned.