I want baby number 5 but hubby doesn't :(

[fizzyblush]

hello
me and my husband have 4 children together . I'd love one more but he is so done at 4. How do you deal with closing the book on having babies when you don't want to in your heart ? It's actually consuming my thoughts at the moment

Get a kitten?

You gotta stop sometime

Come on.. 4 is enough

What’s that got to do with having a lot of kids? Mind you, imagine the kids probably want a break by the time they get to 13…

I don't know how with four children you even have time to think about a 5th baby let alone let that thought consume your thoughts.

If it's 'consuming your thoughts' it doesn't sound all that healthy, more like an addiction.

Maybe consider giving extra care and attention to the four kids you have already?

But it's not possible, more important than money, it's time that children need. Also anyone who sends their children to boarding school isn't doing any parenting! I bet they had a full time nanny from birth too 🙄

Yep, nailed it.

Good for them.

Why have kids if you're going to ship them off to posh schools, and leave them with a vastly underpaid au pair before they get to that stage. Even when everything is bought and paid for, it doesn't necessarily produce happy children.

Just quietly slip baby 5 in. With 4 other children, nobody is going to notice an extra one. 🤣

A lot of people seem to have made up this shipped off to boarding scenario. Boarding Monday to Friday for sixth form is hardly being shipped off is it. I’m absolutely against boarding for children but not young adults.
Anyway that was only to highlight their wealth.

Wealth buys time. We had one child for eight years and spent far less time with that one than the others that followed. We were building a business and family life suffered. Now we are both able to attend every school event. Holiday often, always do drop offs and pick ups. I often have spa days etc with the eldest.

That said, others don’t have much money and still make a large family work. After one child time & attention is always divided. My children get a lot from having each other and always will.

If five children works for someone then that’s as valid a choice as having two. Different strokes..

Just quietly slip baby 5 in. With 4 other children, nobody is going to notice an extra one. 🤣

😐

Four is a large family these days already. You can't keep on reproducing. Logic needs to overtake nature.

As the eldest daughter in a family with five children, I ended up becoming a surrogate parent/housemaid/cook. My needs and right to be a child were often overlooked in favour of the collective needs of the family. It is a horrible way to grow up.

we actually have a declining population in this country which, if not solved by immigration, leads to considerable economic problems. Immigration can also be challenging from a societal perspective with the existing population often being resistant to large scale immigration so actually existing citizens having more children is the best solution to the population problem.

4 children is more than plenty - focus on the ones you have and all their new milestones and celebrations, as well as their struggles and challenges, and there won't be any time left to waste on a fantasy that isn't going to happen.

My mum wanted a fifth. Dad hadn’t really wanted any so put his foot down and had a vasectomy and we got a cat.

As one of 4, it’s a great number. Be grateful for what you have, you’re very lucky.

Will 5 be enough or will you be wanting more after that? Obviously we don't have enough background info about your family. But if your husband is not agreeing and he has provided rational reasons, then it might be best to be happy with your current family.

I guess the point is why even have 8 kids if you don’t actually want them living with you after age 8? It’s obvious they just want the cute baby stage, then get rid.

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but come on, four children is more than enough! I'd be trying to work out why you want 5. No one needs to spread their genes to that extent. The world doesn't need so many people.

I have two and struggle now the youngest is in school to do everything for them. Each evening the eldest needs to read to me and has homework that needs monitoring, the youngest needs to read with me, both need to talk about their day with me, I have to prepare for the next day, wash, cook clean, they have various clubs on some nights. How do you do that for 5 is beyond me. I do work full time but still, they're only home from school a few hours a day.

You've had 4. The planet doesn't need more human beings and your husband doesn't want another. That should be all the information you need to make a balanced decision.

mixed bag of advice and opinions then🤣... logically I know a 5th shouldn't be a thought for me but it's like my heart wants another ? But maybe it's the pregnancy / baby stage im
wanting? Or maybe it's the fast passing of time that makes me
want another ... logically I know your right though and I should just be content with the 4 I have which I am . I love being a Mum. We aren't rich . But we're not poor .. we're just average possibly?

Well, with respect, I think you are off your rocker personally. 😂

Do you work? If not are you just bored?

Can you afford for your children to attend a club they’re interested in?

I have 6 now adult dc, given the state of the world and possible grandchildren, it's a potential shit show out there.
I was fortunate that I was able to finance them to have a comfortable upbringing,
other people would struggle. Maybe listen to dh, sadly your needs don't trump his.